so ive been dating a guy (oooolder) for a few months and im starting to feel guilty about not paying for our dates. he makes *lots* more money than i do and is actually quite well off... despite this i always offer to pay or at least contribute to our outings. hes aware that i make next to nothing at my job and always insists on paying for dates, but a few days ago on the phone he made some comment about how he has to work hard so he can afford to keep taking me out which felt like a low blow. i really do always offer and he really does always insist on paying for everything but now im wondering if he secretly feels bitter about it. should i talk to him? how do i even bring this up? should i even feel guilty at all??
Tell him everything you told the forum. Be open and honest about your concerns, hold back nothing. Communicate!
He may have just let that comment slip because of his mood at the time. He may not have meant it to be mean. Anyway, if it does become an issue about paying for the dates, and you're not making a lot, why go out? Stay at home, it's equally as bonding and if not more enjoyable because you have your privacy.
thanks a lot for the help. he hasnt mentioned it again... if he does then ill tell him what i said on the forum
First, I agree with the below comments... Now, minjeig, why wait till he mentions it again? Why not the next time you two go out? It would be the perfect time to discuss this especially since one or both of you would need to pay the expenses. For that matter, why not BEFORE you two go out the next time even? And why do I say that? Well, see what those guys say in the above quotes. All the best!
It's not a low blow...if anything it should be a compliment that he has you in his budget like that. It sounds to me that that is a commitment he has just made to you. He is going to continue to take you out and buy you things therefore he needs to work hard and keep you. Stop being so selfish and trying to make him into a girl. Let him be a man and do what he needs to do to win your trust and your commitment. It has absolutely nothing to do with him being mad or put out by you not paying. I am sure that if it were the issue, you would not be going out, you would be sitting around the apartment watching dollar movies and getting felt up.
