women are complex creatures... i can't help but be intrigued. i've been having this real odd experience lately with a girl at my job. i want some female opinions, or anyone's opinions really as to what might be going on... the story goes: i've been a lifeguard for a few years at this one sports club. there is a real gossip community going on in the sports club that i've avoided for most of my employment. however, i'm kind of a flirt and i've been in a few romances at this job, add that to my appearance(dreads, tattoos, not giving a fuck) and i seem to be the subject of a bunch of gossip. so i don't really care about that since im actually a nice guy and when anyone gets to know me they like me. so about 6 months ago found out Karen had a crush on me a while backand i decided to ask Karen out. she said she had a boyfriend and we should talk and hang out at work, be friends. she'd always been checking me out and i got vibes from her so i was surprised by the rejection. i decided to ignore my feelings for her and put her out of my mind. i hooked up with a few lifeguards in the succeeding months and word got around, but Karen never went completely unnoticed. we were being quite congenial in exchanging pleasantries, hellos and goodbyes. i think somewhere along the way i offended her or wounded her ego. i never really took it upon myself to "hang out and be her friend" i pretty much just ignored her presence for a long time. so now, Karen got promoted and she is my superior. BAM! I got two write-ups from her in a week. and im one of the best english speaking lifeguards they've got, with 5 lives saved and a cheery demeanor. I see her around the gym and she actively ignores me in our day-to-day encounters. i try to be pleasant and yet her actions towards me are still characterized by animosity. So you see, her indifference and aggression, if i've learned anything about people, is a defense mechanism. my interpretation is that she feels she cannot express her true feelings and so she puts up a front... and its a ridiculous front too, because i know she is a nice girl and a real beauty. so if you've been in a situation like this...tell me about it.i need to deal with this... she could be jealous, or envious, angry, sad, anxious, hurt, or superior, wounded ego? is it my fault she is acting so weird about me?
1) What were you written up for? 2) Did you change your actions to conform with your supervisor's (written) wishes? 3) Does your company have a non-fraternization policy in regard to supervisors? Could she get in trouble for dating you? 4) She's your boss! Any could have been/maybe/possible girl-friend situation is secondary to that. She's your boss and probably takes that change in your relationship more seriously than you do. She's also in that the position of "used to be a peer, now a boss", which can be very uncomfortable and hard to adjust to, for both the new supervisor and her (now) subordinates. Her write-ups will tell you what she is annoyed with. It isn't the dating, its the job performance. If you think that unraveling her "female psyche" is the key to a continuing work relationship, I suspect that there will be further problems.
Honestly, I ignore men who hook up with lots of women. She probably just doesn't like you after she found out all the details.
i was written up for telling a joke about how im so bad at customer service(which she didnt get was a joke at the time) and a second time for talking to swim instructors while they're teaching a lesson. yeah, i changed my behavior according to her legitimate write-up, the one about talking to swim instructors... but one of them was bogus and the general manager came and told me personally that it was stupid. i dont want to date her, i used to. but i have a girlfriend and i think she's acting totally irrational. sarahrei, i think she probably heard something though the rumor mill. they really say some horrible things about me and other people. i dont really hook up with "lots of women" i just appear to hook up with "lots of women." (i included that bit about "how word got around" in my original post so you would understand what she hears about me). and apparently appearances are everything, even apparent appearances are more real to some than real appearances. the thing is that i see her everyday... to her and most people i work with i'm a total enigma. only one or two of 50 know me for me. but when im catching shit at work for being so misunderstood... welll its shitty. ... so i dont really know what im going to do. but i'm really good at being patient. so i think i'm just gonna put my best foot forward and walk it out. and im going to wipe the slate clean of all judgments i've made about people and start with fresh eyes and fresh ears.
Yep, once you shunned her after she knew you knew she had feelings for her she went in defense mode and will shun you back. Alot of females do it. Not sure how to fix it, every situation is different. Good luck, and I hate gossip too. It's all BS.
Complicated? We're actually quite simple. Remember this: Men are logical creatures and women are emotional creatures.
I know plenty of men that are far less logical than I am... I think it's more that men like to pretend that they are always logical, whereas women are more comfortable knowing that that aren't always logical.
