the most epic thing you will ever read...EVER

i dont know if this is true or not, but my fiance had (key word is HAD) a friend who had the tendancy of shitting all over herself (this was a 16/17 year old girl at the time)

anyway, one day she had to shit really bad, so they went to my fiance's parents house, the girl started shitting her pants running through the house to the bathroom. after a while my fiance goes to check on her and there is shit all over the toilet, the walls, and the floor.

i have no idea how she managed to spread it all out like that, you either shit your pants, and thats that, or you shit in the toilet (at least thats what i believed until i heard this story)

needless to say the girl cleaned up the bathroom and was never spoken to again.

 

Fucking lol. Whether that was real or fake, I got a good laugh. Especially the paint picture of the dude shitting and pissing in the bathtub. Great stuff

 

rofl..
poor guy.

 

That guy is one hell of a faggot who posts on a faggot forum.

 

Gonna install a urinal infront of my toilet

 

Tldr.....

edit: I read it. unamused but I guess he achieved what he wanted

 

That is probably the last response anyone expected

But yeah, holy shit... that shit is fucked. Funny as hell though.

 

This thread is the perfect opportunity to tell you guys about my buddy we now call "splurge".

So one day were drunk as fuck sittin' around. My friend gets up and goes to the bathroom.. We assumed he was just takin' a piss or something.

Then all of a sudden we hear things falling down. There was a big noise and then a whole bunch of other smaller noises.

I jumped up and ran over to the bathroom, opened up the door and couldn't even talk. There my buddy was lying on the ground with shit everywhere with his pants down. There's shit and piss all over him and the ground, then he started puking a little bit. He was unconscious.

My other buddies came in and almost pissed themselves laughing. We were trying to wake him up but he wouldn't, then our friends dog came in the room and started licking him as he was passed out with shit everywhere.

Only the people who were there know this story.. Well and my girlfriend and my dad, but I had to tell them lol.

 

Uh another shit story.

This guy I would sometimes talk to ended up leaving his house and was pretty much living on the streets so my mom invited him in to eat something. He was sitting in our recliner chair eating a sandwich and watching tv and then we left about 30 minutes later. My mom runs outside and asked me to tell her what the hell is on her chair so I look and it was this big wet dark brown spot and I said that is shit. I started laughing she was pissed and the entire day the guy walked around with shit in his pants. I didn't tell him but later we met up with other people who I told and we all noticed he left huge shit streaks all over McDonalds benches.

His name from then on was Shit pants Steve.

Oh and my mom threw out the chair.

 

and some guys make fun of us girls for sitting down to pee. lol jokes on you guys.

 

That was funnier than the thing BD posted.

 

dude,i feel for you, what a prediciment, i have the same issues with using other peoples toilets

 

its seriously not that hard to bend a boner down and shit and piss at the same time... its uncomfortable, I'll give you that, but not impossible. I doubt the story is true anyways.

 

........



That was really gross.

It eminds me of this story I read once about this guy that met a chick in a bar who took him home, but he really had to take a dump. He was going to use her bathroom but she took a shower when they got to her place so he shat in a sock and threw it out the window. Feeling a bit cocky and clever, he ended up spinning it around and around before tossing it out and poo seeped through the sock pores and flung about the room.
They did not have sex.