Well, keeping up with the pace of my life is quite a daunting thing at this point. I can't and wont even begin to describe all the fun leading up to this point. I took 2 hits of '08 hofmann doses at about 19:10 and it started to kick in about 19:45. Went down the street to a place called "aggieville" which is where all the college students drink and they had a lazer/fireworks/ball drop in the middle of the street there. Well, my wife and her friend J were literally RUNNING down the street at about 20:15. They were on a mission of a sort. Well, we manage to get a table at the best bar there (since it was so early) and got seated. My wife and J were drinking entirely to fast and I had to walk my wife back home. But before my wife knew she had drank to much, our other party the Fs (Who was one of my "battle" buddys in Iraq) had a pretty nasty fight with eachother. Now all of the girls seemed to have this party girl complex. Fs wife was hitting on me and one of those girls that makes her self available. My wife has become friends with a 40 y/o party girl and is herself turning into the same. (To me, its that shallow girl that jumps on the dance stage before everyone else seeking attention from everyone. Who wants to just get "fucked up and have a good time") {Its also at this point that J falls off of a speaker she is dancing on} Its at about this point where I get this extremely weird realization that there is something that connects you with certain people. Not just certain people, but everyone and everything. I don't know what it is, def not a "god" thing according to my possibly misconstrued interpretation. I know that I could feel it though... Funny thing is, my friend F who is fighting with his wife at this point understands what I am talking about. (and he is not on acid) I was able to point "it" out. Its something that you can't name, or that is a certain thing. But it is there none the less. Its a thing where you know that you can ask someone or talk to someone in a certain way where they can feel you without you speaking more than 2 words. Its when you say "I love you" in that way to your wife/girlfriend and she knows it, because "it" tells her so. Kinda like when you are walking down the street and tell her that you love her and you both stop walking and pause to look at each other. What causes that exact timing of the pause between you too? Its the thing that when your friend is going through a fight you know EXACTLY what to say to help. And its not even what you say, its "it" that makes them understand what you meant. Have you ever had a friend who just "got" you? Like never said things that you don't like because s/he knows that you wouldn't like it without you having to tell them. That "thing" and how much you "get" them is what I am talking about. It seems like it goes into other things as well though. Like this "thing" is what tells you that they should drive that kinda car, or that that object fits their personality. I can only imagine how I sounded trying to describe "it" all night to a few people. Pausing to say, "thats "it"!". I don't know if I am making sense at all. I am probably just totally insane right now. This is the kinda thing that I don't think that those party girls get at all. I feel like somehow I showed it to my wife though, and made "it" fathomable for her. I believe that if she doesn't get "it" soon I might need to move on. (This isn't a love thing, but is wholly love at the same time.) Anyways, at about 6 I had to drive J to the hospital until 10 in the morning :/ That sucked... I don't even know if I am making sense much because I am still exhausted from the experience.
lately i've been overdosing on "it" and its interfering with my ability to interact with "dumb party girls", who i am way more interested in than "it" now. for they are it. with a vagina.
Changing minds Then you got high Deep sigh Wonder why Much more Where's the door Hear the old prayers Find the wise players
Some people connect and understand eachother right off the bat, those are the people you do not want to loose in life. As long as they are good people... 2 words can mean the world
i'd say that this "it" that you speak of is possibly the unconditioned consciousness that you are. it's the the thing that you can't get rid of. and it shines on to different things to shape a person's personality. but it's what everyone truley is at their core i would say. It's the nothingness that you are. does that make any sense? i feel like i know what you're talking about. for me, the tiniest thing can have this "it" shine all over it and i'll know that it's important and i'll take it with me on my journey in life. read my trip report. this "it-ness" unfortunately lead me to jail. but i still feel i learned a fuck lot from the experience about the nature of duality in the human condition. does that make any sense at all to you? it's a shame, because while on acid, this "it-ness" seems to shine much more brightly than when not tripping. but it's always there nonetheless.
Yes this is a good topic I learned so much about it on lsd. Whenever (I) make eye contact with anybody, your subconcious immediately judges every aspect of them, and I absorb the vibe that i get from him/her from the way they are looking at me. Even if they aren't makeing any unpleasant face or anything, you can get the sole vibe from them if they are cool with you or intimidated by you or they don't like you. Thats when the talking aspect happens, and it turns into a whole new level of understanding the person. Believe it or not, I swear I can FEEL when people look at me, i feel their vibe judging my actions.
Haha Mr. Writer wenever I'm at a party or something it's been more and more difficult to talk to those "dumb party people". Everyone will be babbeling their have gone ideas and laughing and being silly, then I go to talk and it's like the silence that follows, that "it" is so strong, it seems to completely stop and weird everyone out. Awkward silence is my friend, and everyone else just feels awkward. Now at partys I just try to ramble as much as possible, and pretend I have no idea what I'm talking about, just like everyone else.
Peter Gabriel summed "it" up rather well I think; When its cold, it come slow it is warm, just watch it grow - all around me it is here. it is now. Just a little bit of it can bring you up or down. Like the supper it is cooking in your hometown. it is chicken, it is eggs, it is in between your legs. it is walking on the moon, leaving your cocoon. it is the jigsaw. it is purple haze. it never stays in one place, but it's not a passing phase, it is in the singles bar, in the distance of the face it is in between the cages, it is always in a space it is here. it is now. Any rock can be made to roll If you've enough of it to pay the toll it has no home in words or goal Not even in your favorite hole it is the hope for the dope Who rides the horse without a hoof it is shaken not stirred; Cocktails on the roof. When you eat right fru_it you see everything alive it is inside spirit, with enough grit to survive If you think that its pretentious, you've been taken for a ride. Look across the mirror sonny, before you choose decide it is here. it is now it is Real. it is Rael 'cos it's only knock and knowall, but I like it...
WOAH. This is the response that I was hoping for in a hippie community! OMG Amazing poem (minus it does not feel pretentious to me)! Thank you all so much! I know that I am not crazy now because you have all spoken in a way that tells me you understand it. freshdacre has spoken... I don't know, in a way that (to small a vocabulary here, but REALLY like me (something I might have said))!!!! I didn't get writers comment till now. Man, I love you all so much I can't believe that people actually took the time to read what I wrote. I feel though that now I am not on acid I have lost the "it" a little bit. I am seriously thinking that the "it" might be a hallucinogenic psychosis... It can't be though because of the way its connected to everything. Thank you all for the input. I would love to talk more about this, but I lack the words to describe "it"! Plus, what else is there to say about "it"? Could talk for hours about it, but then it would become trite. I believe that it should keep its importance... Shit I am confused... xD P.S. psychedeliclover, your sig pic is fucking amazing!
I read your post yesterday and started to answer, but didn't know what to say. I started to say something like I don't know what to say, but wanted to say something so ... But I waited until today and your post was pretty far down the page, but when I looked at it I knew what to say. I'm glad others responded too.
Those are the lyrics to the song "It" from The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. Last song of the story. Very good, you should give it a listen.
Nice, Yeah the "it" you speak of shines on hallucinogens but it should never be lost and too far out of site. It is true and not delusional. It's simple relationship. It's responsible for true feelings of fondness you have in someone's facial expressions, voice, glance. You can tell there are people in syncronization and connected to all that surrounds them then there those that choose not to be connected. I go in and out of periods of either Mushrooms or Acid letting the IT shine. As for now, I struggled for the it while on acid at a concert where the vibes were incredibly clashing three nights ago but progressed as the less true to the music left. Last night on Mushrooms the fondness of the it has regained its strength and shone bright connecting my thoughts and emotions together into one brain operating naturally. Feelings of fondness for nearly everything have arisen again.
dude, you're like going EXACTLY what i am going through right now. but, my last trip, two nights ago led me to the realization that i can completely still see the "it" without the acid. so i've considered giving up the psychedelics completely. But after the acid wore off, the "it" that i thought i could see without the acid began to fade. and it made me very depressed. but i am happy to say that it has returned very strong once again i feel that it's going to stay here for good. i just got scared for a second as i was transitioning to normalcy. i think it was just literally a recovery period. but i'm happy to say the acid has made its permanent mark and i don't need it any more. i have one left and i'm going to leave the psychs alone after this next epic trip.
