breastfeeding + ap = no sleep. help.

I have a 8 month old. We sleep together. But I am getting very tired of nursing all night long. I practice attachment parenting and believe strongly in co-sleeping and NEVER putting the baby down to cry it out. I am a single parent and full time college student. I need more sleep but my baby boy insists on nursing all night.

Any advice on how I can encourage my itty bit to nurse more in the day and less at night?

 

I can't give advice, but I know of a great book that I used to help me get my child's sleep schedule straightened out. It's very AP friendly, and really co-sleeping friendly. It's called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

 

The NCSS is a great book. Is your 8mo old exclusively breastfed? Night weaning is hard hard stuff. Today's society leads us to believe that "normal babies" sleep through the night from about two months; my research indicates that this is more the exception than the rule. The number of families in your boat could fill a fleet of cruise ships. Remember that sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone (like walking or toilet training) that different babies will reach at different times. At some point, your child will sleep through the night - even if you do nothing to encourage it.

Getting your baby to sleep is not a battle to be won, as it is so often portrayed in books and the media. The real goal should be for your family to get the sleep they need, while respecting the needs of the youngest family member(s).

Gentle methods for encouraging less night nursing

Following are suggestions for easing your baby into less night nursing...
Eliminate discomfort

* Teething.
If you suspect teething at all, it may help to give baby a pain reliever before bedtime (check with baby's doctor for suggestions). Some babies nurse more often to try to relieve gum pain. Teething pain is often worse at night.
* Room temperature.
Find your baby's temperature comfort level: some babies will wake if they get too hot or too cold.
* Solid foods.
Has baby recently started solids? Many babies (particularly those under six months) start or increase night waking after the introduction of solids, due to problems digesting the food. Try avoiding solids in the evening, or consider decreasing or eliminating the solids until baby's digestive system matures more. Several studies have shown that adding solids to a baby's diet does not help baby to sleep more at night.
* Allergy.
Babies with food allergies, environmental allergies or eczema may wake more at night due to discomfort.
* Reflux.
Discomfort from reflux may also keep baby up at night.
* Illness.
Illnesses like ear infections and colds can interrupt baby's sleep, and result in increased night nursing. A bad diaper rash or other rash might also affect baby's sleep. Anytime baby suddenly increases night waking, keep an eye out for illness.


Maximize baby's nursing during the day and during any night wakings

* Nurse more during the day.
Encourage baby to nurse more often during the day (perhaps every 2 hours instead of every 3), so that she takes in more milk during the daytime hours.
* Minimize distractions.
During the day, nurse in a room that is as free of distractions as possible. Turn off the light, close the door, pull the blinds, etc. Get your older children busy doing something before you start nursing. Try nursing while lying down. Sometimes babies can become so distracted during daytime feedings that they don't take in enough milk and then have to make up for it with more frequent night feedings. One study showed that older babies can consume as much as 25% of their total daily intake of mother's milk during the night, probably partly because of daytime distractibility.
* Tank up before bedtime.
Nurse often in the hours leading up to bedtime (at least every 1-2 hours). Some moms nurse on one breast only during this time period so that baby gets more of the higher fat milk available at the end of a feeding (this helps baby go longer between feedings). When baby wakes at night, try nursing on the other breast for all or most of the night, again so that baby gets more of the higher-fat milk.
* Listen to your child.
Only your child knows if she's really hungry - don't automatically assume that your child is not hungry or thirsty. Many adults wake at night for a drink of water or even to get a snack.


Maximize sleep for the entire family

* Dream feed.
Nurse baby right before you go to bed (even if baby has already gone to bed), so that you get a longer period of sleep before she wakes again. Many babies barely wake at this time, even though they may get a good nursing in.
* Try to begin settling baby before he's overtired.
Some babies have a hard time going to sleep when they're overtired, so keep an eye out for signs of sleepiness.
* Try different sleep arrangements.
Find out what sleeping arrangement work best for the entire family while continuing to meet baby's needs.
o Full-time co-sleeping.
Many babies sleep better when they are close to mom. Consider sleeping with your baby - many families have found that baby and the rest of the family gets more sleep this way. Sleeping with your baby and nursing baby to sleep will not teach bad sleep habits. All the co-sleeping babies/toddlers who I know have begun to sleep through the night at some point without any type of training or encouragement or change in sleep location.
o Part-time co-sleeping.
Part-time co-sleeping works for many families, where baby sleeps in her crib until the first night waking and then joins mom and dad for the rest of the night.
o Separate beds.
If you're not comfortable with baby in your bed or if you are currently sleeping with baby and no one is getting any sleep, then try other options. Consider placing baby on a pallet on the floor beside the bed, or place baby's crib with the rail down beside your bed. That way, baby will be close enough that nursing won't interrupt sleep quite so much (such as when you get up each time and go to baby's room). Another option that works for some families is putting a bed for just mom and baby in baby's room for awhile, or Dad might instead choose to sleep in another location himself.

 

Thank you so much for the information! I haven't heard of that book, but I will have to look into it. I exclusivly breastfeed, so it very easy at night, it's just my son wakes up about 6-10 times a night to nurse.... which seems crazy to me.

 

Wow that is a lot for an 8mo. But the fact that you are gone during the day makes me think this is why! I think offering babe something with good fats like an avocado before bed may help. Are you wanting to wait to introduce solids a bit longer? Considering you are away for most of the day (I am assuming) - do you pump?

If I were you - and I have exclusively bf 2 kiddos to almost a year and I am on babe #3 right now (and a I'm breastfeeding counselor) I would mix some avocado with banana and feed him that before bed. You just mush both up together and it will keep in the fridge in a tupperware. My nephew used to call it his green yogurt Anyway - good fats and something filling before bed may help.

But that baby misses you Mama. Often times working moms/student moms experience this because they are away during the day and babe overcompensates at night. Considering the circumstances I wouldn't try to night wean just yet. Try to stretch him out some though with solids, if you are comfortable with that.

Just stay positive and tell yourself "This too shall pass." I promise that soon this will all be a distant, cherished memory.

 

How's it going Mama?

 

we are doing okay. still a lot of night time feedings but I tried the avocado/banana mixture and he loved it... and his first stretch of sleep was about an hour longer. So, that's a plus.

yes i pump and my mom watches him in the day time. i'm pretty sure his night time feedings are due to him missing me like you wrote. And i'm sure over the next few weeks, it may get worse because winter term just started.

I ordered the book you mentioned, so i should get it soon... and i'm looking forward to it.

i'm just glad i'm a very patient person. my mom insists on me giving him formula so i could get more sleep and i keep informing her that, one, it goes against what i believe and, two, it probably will make it harder.

 

You keep on keeping on. Tell your mom it's your baby and your decision and you'd appreciate it if she'd just support your decisions. You may find this interesting http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20091003-18890.html

Kudos to you, I can imagine how hard your situation is and how tiring. You are blessed to have a mother who cares and wants to help you. But tell her she can help more by being supportive, yk? And how lucky is your son to have a Mama who cares so much to offer him the very best start in life? You rock!

 

i second all of that! it seems to me that your motherly instincts are pristine in cognition so hang in there! I would add tho~ how are you doing w/ your nutrition & supplements? Just seems to me that some extra good quality food stuff for you would benefit (instead of wasting $$ on formula! try some hempbutter or gojibutter...something special for you & it gets passed onto the babe)!!

blessings to you, because you are admirable!

 

Things still working out okay for you?