going crazy?

You've described me a lot. I have terrible anxiety 24/7.

A lot of the tiem i have terrible thoughts. I deliberately went through a daydream of murdering every person in my house. I've thought worse things too. Not by plan, but it just happens and I don't stop it playing out in my head. Torture, even.

I've also started to develop schizophrenic tendencies about 1% of the time when I'm stoned.

 

well, being stoned IS a kind of schizophrenia. at least, in the DSM-V it's described as a state closely imitating schizophrenia.
so i don't think you should be paranoid about that.. i get REALLY weird when i'm stoned. not 1% but most of the time. lol.

yes, i had that too. i thought it was because of weed, but i know now it was all in my head. to be honest, do what i am going to do--stop going on this website for a while, where you can talk about these things. the root of anxiety actually lies in thinking and being preoccupied with something... tearing back into it, talking about it, only makes it worse.

also to be honest, what's wrong with a daydream? as long as you don't DO it. i seriously think you are being paranoid about all of this.. and you're NOT losing your mind i hope this helps.

and HOW do you have anxiety 24/7? you mean you are in an anxious state 24/7? (racing heart, sweaty, etc.. ).

 

ya, that's really good : your thoughts are just your thoughts.
I think therefore I have anxiety. lol. hey, it's the truth!

 

Before trying any medication try diet and exercise. Eating junk food and fast food really weighs down the mind. Exercise releases endorphins.

 

good point.
you shouldn't be eating fast food to begin with!

 

maybe you people are just on too many drugs..

 

Whats up man?...I wanted to throw my dog agaisnt my wall the other day but i knew i wouldnt, its just something i control...I wanted to gauge my moms eyes out the other day along with a few other people but i didnt becuase i controlled it...its not the mind thats the problem, its the controller....Body and Mind ...Two different things...The mind must be stronger than the body....Smoke some pot, think things over....It did startle me though because are new thoughts Lol...I know i wont lol

 

smoke pot = crazy/anxiety/blah blah (the usual)
don't smoke = beautiful, happy life full of meaning

does anyone else experience a similar schema, and thus had to give it up?

 

I use to have anxiety attacks everynight before I went to bed because I would be scared that I wouldn't wake up. I'd think I could have a heart attack in my sleep and then my heart would speed up then I would get more anxious because my heart was beating fast so it would beat faster and it got to the point where i would have such bad anxiety attacks that I would convulence perfuislly and I would be numb everywhere. I have occasional thoughts like that too like one night I walking done the street thinking, wow I could step in front of this car and die then I would know what dying is like and go on and on and then I realized that I was contemplating suicide and I snapped out of it.

 

It used to be like that for me but I kind of grew out of it and now I'm just socially awkward when I'm high and thats it.

 

i don't know if i want to grow out of it. i think i just don't want to do it anymore.
ya, i'm VERY socially awkward when i'm high. i can't behave like a normal person lol.

 

dont worry i have many friends who deal with this. including me.
your not the only one.

whenever a negative thought is controlling you, just say to yourself STOP, just focus on the present, the now. i know its easier said than done but with practice and DETERMINATION you can over come this.

i think the best help you can find without confronting anyone about this little obstacle is through meditative books.search the web!

try kundalini-teacher.com ???

 

Rofl, then I must be fucking crazy too lol. But seriously, everybody has "crazy" thoughts from time to time. I wouldn't even call that crazy though, it's normal, look at the shit people create in the movies. You gotta realize, theres a difference between having a thought, and ACTING on the thought. Did you actually kill a small animal? Did you hack your family up to bits? Probably not, I hope lol. You just gotta relax man, seriously. Breath slow. Let the thoughts arise and pass. It happens.

It's usual a result of stress, a stressed out man just gets more stressed by everything, you know? Gotta skip that and cool it down. Don't FEAR these thoughts and attempt to SUPRESS them, it only makes it worst. If they're happening, then let them. There's nothing wrong with you as a person. You might just need to talk to somebody, I'm more than sure something is triggering all of this.

 

Not borderline, that is classic OCD right there. Sounds like a variation called Pure Obsessional OCD. Its mental obsessions without physical compulsions. Thinking about killing yourself/others is fairly common in sufferers of Pure-O. As i too have it.

If you are doing any drugs, including caffeine and tabacco. Quit, they are not helping. Look up Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Its a form of therapy meant to desensitize your mind to such thoughts, and you can treat yourself.

An example of this therapy: "I could pick up this knife and stab my little sister right now" instead of your mind responding with fear, recreate the thought, and take it a next step further. Respond mentally with something like "Once I kill my little sister I will kill the whole world!" Make it something laughable, as shown here by being obscenely impossible to even do.

This therapy can start showing improvement in your condition immediately.
Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

 

Who cares about performing like a regular person.....Id rather walk around like a self controlled freak than throwing animals against walls and gauging peoples eyes out...Iam crazy along with the rest of america.

 

ohh and the same thing about my highs lately.....Ive been wanting to just sit by myself and think when iam high alone lately, i see it as time to catch up with myself because its something that i want to do...Its healthy for the mind i think, a nice stoned alone smoke

 

i only like getting high alone.

 

well this thread is a bit old, and i only read the first couple posts on it, but ill just say that its actually kinda common to have those thoughts of "whats the worst possible thing i could do right now?". as long as you have no real urge to do that thing its only your mind having a little fun with you. how do i know this? I heard it on a radio show so it must be true...