I've been really stressed lately. When I get stressed, I don't eat anything, and I sleep alot. So, I fell asleep today almost immediately from coming home from school, and woke at about 9 tonight. Some of the things I've been dealing with I can't tell my friends, so I'm using the awesome powers of the unanimous internet to get some of the load off. Okay here we go: At the moment, it's mainly the fact that I'm sick of guys right now. I asked out a guy recently, and he felt really bad about it, because he said no. Well, turns out he's gay. I'm okay with that, and totally understand. But I really hate lying to some of my friends about it. As far as they know, he can't date. I can lie, but it mentally tears me up. Then there are these other guys who keep asking me out. I don't like either one of them, but they just don't get it. I swear, one of them has literally asked me about fifty times. They're driving me crazy! But really, there's been alot of things other than that that have just been piling up on me over the past several weeks, months, years even... High School is choking me. I feel like I need to get out and do something. I want to drop out, but I do realize the importance of a good education, so I'm not going to. I'm only a sophomore, but mentally, I feel much older than that. I've experienced some things many adults haven't. My peers even see that, I can't tell you how many times I've been told I act like a Senior. I'd like to go to an early college, but again I hit a road block. My mom is a traditionalist, and to her, everything has it's place and everything must be done a certain way. I've grown up with this all my life, and she's never been very accepting of my different ways of thinking. So, she doesn't want me to skip the last year of high school, but the way I see it, it's not going to do much for me anyway. So basically that along with other things has had us fighting for a really long while. I need to get away. I need to go out into the woods and meditate for a while, but until I get my liscence, I won't be able to do that. Nobody wants to go outside when it's winter. Actually, I love being outdoors in winter. Everything is so quiet, and still. If there's snow on the ground, I don't care. Of course, most people I know don't appreciate nature like I do. To me, it's basically my one true home, and I'm living in my secondary one. Even when I am able to get out and just sort of "be", whoever I'm with usually wants to start talking or whatever. If I don't keep my connection with it, I get really emotionally wacked out. I guess there's other smaller things to that, but this is already a long post anyway. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to lay some things out. Like my mind is in a really bad haze right now, and alot of times I don't know where to turn. I guess I'm asking what I should do? I'm not even sure...
I #1 suggest you look into getting a GED a.s.a.p. and get the feck out of the herd you're stuck in, Highschool is mostly just a bunch of regurgitated crap they keep feeding you to numb your mind and free your parents time so they can work and be productive citizens, it's all brainwashing. And #2: Decide once and for all just who's life you're living there, yours or your mothers. And judging by your love of the woods, contact your local forestry service and start looking into internships and so forth, maybe get a gig at Yellowstone with the park service for a couple seasons. As far as the Dude you asked out are you really lying to them if you tell them he said no and say no more on it? I mean he cant really go out with you, it would go against all his personal tastes and desires so keeping the extra info about his preferences shouldn't be too difficult especially if you liked this guy enough to ask him out in the first place. Dont go screwing this kid's life up by outing him to his peers. Ok, I'm done now.
Thanks Fritz. Quick question, can I actually get my GED without having to stay all four years in HS? If so, explain. Yeah, I need to break free of my mother. She is always trying to get me to live the way she wants me to, but... Yeah, I need to start living my own life. That's a good idea. There's a nature preserve nearby, I'll look into it. That is true, and for his sake, I'll keep my mouth shut. We're still on really good terms, and I don't want that to change.
The whole idea behind the GED is to let you leave early. My school let me go 3 months ahead of schedule cuz' I made myself such a pain in their ass. Keep in mind that in your state they may or may not require you to wait untill your class has graduated before letting you get the G.E.D. and by no means should you see dropping out as a reason to avoid studying for the S.A.T. exam It's a shame but quite common for Parents to pile on their own failed self-expectations onto the shoulders of their children. Sadder still is that in many cases the Parent will attempt to undermine their child most likely or hopefully on a subconscious level out of resentment for the achievements of their offspring. What part of Missouri are you in? I just moved away from there after two years in Houston MO, St. Louis and Camdenton,,,, crazy couple of years. Pretty state but just not the place for me job-wise. The Ozarks are awesome aint' they?
Yeah, they're really amazing. There's a campsite down there I absolutely love to just go down and hike all over. Though, I'm from the Kansas City area, myself. I know what you're talking about now, and yeah, my school won't let you graduate early. They used to let you go about four months early if you wanted, but they recently just changed it.
Well dropping out is a different story, but you may need to wait till you're 18 for the GED which could make getting a job real hard and I'd guess on your list of things to do shortly after pissing your mom off by disobeying her will. It's ok, talk to a counselor at school about getting emancipated first and foremost, this gives you the technical status of being an adult from the legal side of things so things like getting a job and so forth arent such a hassle, also signing documents like apartment leases unless you have friends you could move in with?
