So friday night I took 5 grams of mushrooms over the course of 10 hours. Three friends and I went to see a Pink Floyd tribute band. We ate about 1.2 grams each, except for one friend who took two hits of cid. The show last from 8-11pm. The show was amazing! Music was intense! Didn't really start tripping yet though. About 11:15 we get to our hotel were staying at and proceed to eat more mushrooms. I ate close to 2 grams and the trip comes up very quick. Within moments, my whole my mind begins to shift, becomes fluid like, and begins to let go. I soon become entranced in a deep silence. For awhile I coming up, all this creative energy flowing, emotional energy flowing, it was a bit overwhelming. I started running around jumping from bed to bed, walking on furniture, getting under stuff and meditating upside down. I sat back in this one computer chair and I leaned really far back to where you'd usually fall, but I had some sort of supreme balance. Finally I decided to take a grav. When I sat in the bathroom where the grav was, it was so silent, like If I had entered into a temple. I stared at the weed, and the water, and the textures in the wall for so long, before I even took my grav. It was just a long period of silently watching. My friends were talking and watching tv, and they would try to talk to me, sometimes if it was something really worth talking about I would talk, but for long periods of times which felt like days I did not break the silence. Even when I did talk I did not break the inner silence. I was possessed by some unexplainable force. As the night went on I ate the rest of my shrooms, a little piece every couple hours. I again went in the bathroom to eat one of the mushrooms, it was so beautiful, I was in a deep communion with the mushroom, sending love as I recognized its incredible spirit. Then for a glimpse, they revealed there self. The mushroom spirit (or watever it was) came forward out of nowhere. White vibrant tall angelic alien looking beings, I had never seen something so beautiful, but they left just as soon as they came. After seeing this, and having this realization, another divine realization dawned upon me. This architectural aspect of the divine. Suddenly me it was perfectly clear how beautiful the design of reality is made. It was something that dawned before but it was different now, clearer. It needed the mind of clock-smith, watching the very minute details to make sure the clock runs perfectly. Also that of artist on who in art can see the beauty in itself, it need not be explained. Deep within a spiritual energy arose, vibrating and rejuvenating the whole body and mind. I felt as if I know longer had a body, I was in complete bliss, my body felt like it was made of light! I went in between a box spring and matress for 20 mins while my friend sat on top, but still no loss of bliss, it was even more silent, even more bliss! When I finally squeezed out, I felt newly born, just coming out of the womb feeling. I entered a superconscious state, and begin to feel the whole ocean. I felt my awareness be I redirected into everything, so there was no distinction between the two. I suddenly had direct intuition, and could understand the nature of whatever it was I meditated on very clearly. My thoughts were the universes thoughts, we were in beautiful harmony. I sat and witnessed and I felt my the witness inside, and realized no matter where I went, no matter how many lives I went through, that witness would be there. I went over and sat in chair, I watched as my friend played with the air conditioning, making the curtains go up in the air in different directions. We both were amazed by this, they way it looked was so amazing, so high def looking. From this point I felt like the whole room was connected, that I was being hugged from everywhere, spirit light was penetrating from everything. I sat down in a chair, and watched as the whole room began to lift up. The whole room began to open like a lotus flower, such a powerful sensation came upon me I closed my eyes, and put myself in meditation. Suddenly I feel consciousness shifting, it became raised to a pure sense of awareness. **Here came the most amazing part of the trip. I sat with closed eyes and meditated, my friends just to yell at me, things try to distract me, but I did not move an inch. Soon a great realization came, I was taken by this white light. Suddenly I am making love to God! YES, making LOVE to GOD! I was pure energy loving pure energy, life loving life, existence loving existence, It was pure orgasm, a pure vibration of energy. **In this love making all I could see were these beautiful figures coming from the light as this orgasmic love making continued. The orgasm became so strong at one point, stronger then any feeling I had ever felt, 100 times stronger then an outer orgasm. It was taking all my will power, balance, strength, and in the moment will power to maintain this state. Finally it became too much, I opened my eyes and the whole room opened up with me, like a lotus opening. Then it fell closed, and immense after orgasm occured. Like the after orgasm of just immense bliss you get when you lay in bed with your partner after sex. **In this I realized that god is sort of a quality of consciousness. It is consciousness without limit, in its pure form, with power to create. That becoming a god, means becoming aware of this state of consciousness and be able to master this. The rest of the night was just pure beauty. I laid on the floor and just fell into divine states of realization. Penetrating layers deep within side myself. I felt the expansiveness of creation, that this universe was just one of the many in the game, that there is more complex realities, more time to grow, more schools to attend, this was just the beginning. I could understand people on a deeper level, if I concentrated on a person, I could understand their whole motive and perception on things. One part of the night we smoked a blunt in the bathroom with the lights off. Whenever I went to grab the blunt it felt like my hand was going through it, I was like I have my hand where the cherry is and I dont feel anything. Same thing happend to my friend. So later I go in the bathroom with the lights on, and I get really concentrated, and I look at my hands and make them go through each other, I could not feel my real hands, it was if they were really through each other. We are made of consciousness and there is no solid, with this I will walk through walls one day I thought. I began just sinking into things, watching the amazing visuals I had going on. Relishing in the beauty and understandment of it all. I was sitting in a blanket for awhile, and the blanket would morph and form to watever I thought. I made mountains, giant Chinese looking buildings, huge temples and castles on the side of mountains overlooking water, like the ones in India. At one point it looked like the blanket and the room were both going of in to space infinitely, forming a giant structure that became a whole ancient village. Even though I had never tripped like this before, there was this familiar feeling to it, like trips of a lesser degree were trying to explain this but couldn't. The visuals some of the best I ever had. There was one point where I was looking at the side of the mattress. It became the 1000 buddhas dancing! It was like my awareness became a hundred different points on the mattress, and they were all dancing, each with its own super complex other worldly patterns. Such a beautiful image, such a beautiful feeling too, like everything was included in that moment, the whole of life! The trip never really stopped, my friends and I kept smoking weed at the end of the night, laying on the bed and just watching the ceiling and blankets, laughing and having a good time. Every time we would smoke the trip would come back up, it was great! I watched the blanket morph around me until the moment I fell asleep. When I finally did fall asleep and I woke back up and it felt like my body just got out of a deep orgasm, I was covered in sweat, some sort of tingle released from my body as I stood up. It almost put me to the ground. My friends and I left the hotel, and talked about all the crazy stuff that went down. Twas one of the greatest nights to date! Funny side story about my friends going to by weed. They went outside to smoke a cig or something, ended up meeting this G dude, asking them if they wanted any exotic. He starts tryin to make small talk so my friends are like yea "we went to see pink floyd." He takes them around the corner to his boy and hes like yea these dudes meetin up with "pink" they want some weed. They were like "no pink floyd". He says, "Awh yea Pretty boy Floyd". Nah man, "pink floyd". Aw yea, "Jay-Z and the funky bunch". "Anyway here is that dime of purple you wanted." They come back in the room, and of course not even a dime of mids comes out of the bag. Luckily they only paid 10 for it. Basically the dude was crazy and had no idea what he was talking about, but we smoked a damn fine blunt anyway.
More remembrance of the trip. Godliness is to have a free consciousness, to remove the idea that it is not free, that consciousness creates whatever you tell it to create, the mind isn't solid, the mind is a collection of thoughts. The mind is a collection of experiences. A collection of links in a chain, one after one after one. But your are not those thoughts, find where they all go back to, they all go back to consciousness, into a potential, consciousness is just pure energy. Then you find the master, the one who designed these thoughts, then you find the master, then you find god. God is above all the thoughts, the seer of all seers, and you realize that self was just of construct too, blockage from god was a construct, in the peak of things you cannot tell if you are separate or apart, you are god, then you are a lover loving god, back and forth, who are you really, who is the seer, who is the is the ultimate witness. All potentialities are existing in the divine, all that has happend, and will happen, is happening! All is happening in the now, but really none of it is happening. Then you see it is both, that there is no truth, the truth is consciousness. Whatever you make is true, you are the maker of dreams. God is the witness of the untruth, the realizer that the truth is itself. The consciousness and the preciousness of what is cabable of is in fact the meaning to the game. That being is really the meaning of it all. The beauty is in itself! The beauty is in itself! The beauty is in itself! To realize itself is the greatest achievement, to realize its all worth it, to understand the point and the great journey, the phenomnon of how you got to that point, makes a tremendous joy, and inexplicable feeling is felt, so beyond all worldly feelings. You ask yourself how and why a hundred times, how did this happen, did it make itself, or was is made? It was both, it was something higher, something glimpses would come but you couldn't really understand. It takes a balance of things, a high intelligence, a great strength, a deep knowing of things. Because when the point comes it comes in such a way that congrues with everyday existence. That is the point of this existence, to prepare for the realization, you have to be very in tune with the way the world work. The more in tune you are, the greater you able to realize the subtle energys, and the workings of evolution and the connectedness of things, the greater the realization will be. The more extravagant, thats why these yogis go mediating for years in nature, they are building energy, learning to control. In the intense moments of orgasmic bliss, the energy could be overwhelming, expanding ones soul like the expansion of a vagina as a girl losses her virginity for the first time. The balance so strong between everything, a resonating of energies, it felt as if one was balancing on there heads to maintain it all. Extreme cosmic bliss, the universe having an orgasm, all in one extremely glorified moment. Time was up and down, eternal, there was no sense of time, of going anywhere, only going more into the now, only moving deeper into the energy. Mountains seem spiritual, they grow up and down, they grown into themselves, they are not going anywhere, only making them selves larger, greater, more defined. People are walking and moving, growing with time, they going from the beginning to the end always, they should take more time to grow in the moment, grow deeper into them selves, deeper into right the energy right here. There is no here, here is everywhere, but everywhere no where, so here is nowhere, here is only your awareness, that is the only thing here. You make everything else into here, there is no time, time is a stream of nows, you are flipping the pages of now. You are moving the slideshow across the screen. You are the master, your desire to be the devotee in the relationship is the only thing keeping you from being the master, it is only a change of will to become the master. There is a democratic code, a rightful use of energy for all players, to master is to know and respect this, this is compassion. Right mind is big thing, if you do not have right mind you cannot go past mind, because use your mind to lose your mind, you must unlock its password, take rightful control over it, there is no mind anyway, it just an in between, a collection of thoughts you impose, it is not substantial on its own. Only the consciousness stands alone. The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone, high ho the dairy-o, the cheese stands alone!
Worded that wrong meant to say I was the witness, witnessing from the inside, and that I the witness would be there forever.
