Im in love with my bf of two years and he loves me... but everyday I lose another piece of myself and continue to lose myself. He's so selfish and wont admit or try to fix his selfish ways. I cant stand to be without him but at the same time im miserable with him. I just want to be me again, I want him to care that I feel so lost and have changed so much for him. I havent changed willingly its just kind of happened because I dont want to lose him. Thing is he loves me for something Im not and he doesnt know the real me and wont take the time to. I dont know what to do!! I fall in and out of depression.. I secretly think hes always cheating and I dont know if its because im paranoid or because its really going on.. I hate being a female at times. I just wanna sell everything I have a travel! I need advice!!!
im in almost the EXACT same position. i know how you feel. i havent really changed, but thats the source of all our fights. and i cant stand up to him cuz i just dont want to lose him. girls have it the hardest we love deeper, therefore we try harder. ive slowly but surely gotten to where i can tell him when stuff bothers me and what not.
I can tell him when things are bothering me but it always turns into a fight. Im not a yeller I haet fighting and I can suck it up and admit when Im wrong but he only chooses to see everyones faults and wont acknowledge his own. After I made this thread I caught him talking to his ex girlfriend and his best friends ex wife. I did nothing about it either! I let him know I was aware of it but let it go at that.. Im such a puss!
Well I am very much aware that it is a major co-dependency cherea but the real issue is how to break myself of it. Before him and for a little bit when we seperated, I wasn't like that at all. I had good self esteem and I didn't live in denial, he's the only relationship this has ever happened to me in and I cant seem to find the courage to break lose of the choke hold because Im so dearly in love with him. Also I do know that I could very well find someone I would be able to love like that again.. afterall I am a youngin! I just can't find the strength and boost I ned to end it all!
Break up. "I just can't find the strength and boost I ned to end it all!" It's like standing on the edge of a really high diving platform and trying to find the courage to jump into the water. You can't find it. And then you jump. And then you realize that the courage was there all along. You just needed to jump.
i agree try reading something by melodie beattie she can really shed some light on some of those issues
You know how I feel about this Opal. No one should have to change anything about themselves for a relationship. Comprimise, yes....but I think two people in love should be able to thrive in eachothers company without wanting them to be someone they're not. Your fear of hurting others and your want to make everyone happy are great characteristics, but if you don't stand up for your own happiness they will tear you down further every day. You deserve the world luv, but you won't get it till you realize yourself that you do deserve it.
