Ok so here's the situation... My gf and myself of about 8 months split up approx. two weeks ago. For a couple of months, she had been talking about how she wished she had more time to herself. She is quite busy with school, work, horses etc.. and that she felt like every spare minute had to spent with me. So about two weeks ago, she let me know that she wanted to break up for two main reasons: 1.) She needs to be single for a while as hasn't been for sometime and she needs time for herself and work out who she is and what she wants 2.) She is going into her final year of school and needs to focus and do well to get into University. It's been a difficult couple of weeks, and in that time we have agreed to stay as friends (with benefits). She still tells me that she loves me and misses me and that sometimes she thinks that she has made the wrong choice. We still feel so strongly toward each other, however she says that it is not the right time for a relationship. She messages me and tells me she loves me and as do I. I can respect her reasons, but I would give anything to be back with her again. We have spoken about the possibility of getting back together after this year, and we both are keen on the idea but are not going to make plans as anything could happen between now and then. It just hurts so much thinking that my girl will be other people this year, I try not to think about it, but I can't help it. It's hard to keep some distance from her, as her school backs onto my house and her bus goes past my house twice a day. Today she messaged me to meet her at my back fence and she kissed me and told me she would see me Friday. If this was you in this situation, what would you do? Or at least, what are your opinions. Thanks for reading Akust0m89
listen dude...your right...its hard...i am old....way old....i have been through this...it passes...it fucking passes you dummy....wake the fuck up....she is bangin you any way right....you said with benefits?.... do you actually think she is gonna be ''the one''...please.....the next one will be better and the one after that ...better yet....they always are.....stay away from the radio[love songs] immerse yourself in school or work go out do what ever the fuck you have to until enough time passes to ''heal'' time heals all wounds....just in case you didnt grt it
Thanks for the reply. I guess it's even harder atm as I'm in the process of finding a job so I practically have shit all to do lol. Once I get my mind occupied again, things should get easier. However she is so unique and different to most girls these days...
all women are unique in some way! ''this too shall pass'' ignoring her for the most part is the only thing that may draw her back dude....and dont bend over for her...let her do some work for a change....also the job thing babes like guys WITH jobs
Sounds normal. This will have to you over and over, unless you are one of the 'luckier' ones. Just go with the flow, I wish I could give you more advice but I cannot. It really is just life, going to have to get used to it! Just concentrate on yourself. If you really want her back, maybe getting a job will do some good, just have to prove to her that you are worth her time. You explain that she is focusing on her education, maybe she feels she is progressing and you aren't. I don't really know what you're doing at the moment (said yourself not a lot), so maybe that's the key to the whole thing.
I agree with ROLLINGALONG, let her do her thing! It may be just like she said. She just needs a little time to do some things, etc. That could be healthy for her. And trusting her would improve your relationship. But did you both agree to not date anyone else? If not, she could be keeping her foot in your door while she's shopping around. Quote: “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” ~Richard Bach
Thanks for all the replies guys. I have just recently finished my degree in Quantitative Economics and Human Resource Management. Since then I have been trying to get a relevant job. However a couple of weeks ago, I was made redundant at my temporary job, so I have been without work for a couple of weeks. I wouldn't say I'm not progressing. Also to answer the previous poster's question, we have both agreed that we are allowed to see other people as we are not in a committed relationship as we once were. It's still quite hazy though, as shes coming over tomorrow night, staying over, sleeping with me most likely and she still says she loves me....yet we are not together.
That sucks man. I know the feeling though, been in the situation with an ex. I hate all these jibes people give about sex and what not, nice to see a guy looking beyond just that. However, problem is notice I refer to my ex as, well, my ex. We were in your situation and it just snowballs. From a personal, and perhaps subjective point of view, I recommend giving her the ultimatum of all or nothing. But then that's just what I would have done looking back, so it's all a matter of opinion. Good luck with it dude, congratulations for getting a degree (sort of similar to what I am going for), didn't mean to assume you were a bum or anything earlier
Dude, you have to let her go. She's REALLY young and you have to understand (no matter how hard it is for you to accept) that it's only natural for a young girl to want to explore what else is out there for her. How many girls do you know that stay with the same bf they had in high school for the rest of their life?? It's extremely rare. Shit, I'm a guy and I know I'd want to experience other girls before I decided to commit to one girl for the rest of my life. Let her go and experience life... and if it's meant to be, she will find her way back to you. But realistically... and statistically, you will both likely end up with other people. About the friends with benefits thing... that's fine if you can handle it... but it sounds like you can't. In which case I think you need to stop the hookups so you don't end up getting hurt.
