Men and mind games?

Recently, I have moved into the city and have had some crazy experiences with men. I longed to be loved and to feel love, and I realize now, that it is a fault of mine and that I would not be able to find love in all of the places I was looking. Every single guy I met just used me, because I allowed my self to be used in this longing for something more than my self.I know why I ran into all of these people and I know how it happened. I know my flaws and am working them out.

What I want to know is why do men play games with women? Why do they act like we are amazing and wonderful, when we are just disposable? Why do they contend on preying on women and their feelings?

I know SEX..... but do any men in the world really love a woman? Are there men who care about more than themselves? And what do they get out of a moment of gratification?

And how do women know that it is true?

 

You know the answers to all those questions.

 

Umm, a little bit of a generalization there! With a world population of nearly 7 billion, and assuming half of that is men- you would have had to have had a lot of sex to come up with such a presumption!

 

Funny thing, I've found in many cases that when Women do in fact find "Love" and they feel secure in it, they often get bored and move on to their next acquisition,,, Maybe allot of guy's ply those games because they figure they may as well get a piece of a good thing while they can, while they still seem "novel" in your eye's and bail out once they sense you're getting what you wanted, expecting that you'll only do it to them once you've satiated your urge to find "Love" with them?

People are funny aren't they?

 

This is not a gender issue... men are not the only ones who play gamea and definitely not just with women... Both genders to it equally to both genders...

Read through the posts here in this section of the forum, you will see both sides of this over and over and over again...

One side argues that it is better to be genuine and treat people as they deserve to be treated based on their own actions and words... the other side says, if it moves, find a way to fuck it... lube is optional....

Are there people (or either gender) that don't play games and fuck each other over? Yes, but they are not the 'norm'.

As for how you know... unfortunately, you don't... you have faith in each new person who comes along, until they show you that they aren't worthy of that faith....

 

My lovely we all have ruff patchs, they will balance out-

Im sticking like tree resin to that thought!!!!

((((((( <3 )))))))

 

Men have to do the mind games to win at womens mind games.

 

Look for love where you experience it, in you own heart.

 

you are hooking up with the wrong kind of guy... Most likely the "bad boy" Try out a genuine nice guy and things will be much better. they know how to treat a woman.. Or try a man who was raised by a woman

 

A man raised by a women? You mean a mother lol?

Not so bizarre surely!?

 

I suspect it's the same reason women play games with men, why people regardless of sex and orientation play games with each other: POWER. The power to control each other to suit our desires, our view of how the world should be, our ideas of what we should be getting out of life.

See above.

Yes

Yes

exactly that: a moment of gratification. Why anyone would value a moment of gratification more than they should is beyond my capacity to explain.

I ought to toss the question back at you: how do men know it is true? But no, pointing at the other sex is a waste of time. Instead, why don't we take that question and strip it of it's gender specificity: How do humans know it is true? How do we know whom to trust?

Here's a truth that no one wants to hear: THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES. No one - not the kindest most loving person you can think of, not the person who loves you the most, not your best friend, not even YOU YOURSELF - is completely trustworthy 100% of the time. No one can give you a perfectly solid guarantee. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.

And you might think, well that's a pessimistic outlook. But it's not. It's realistic and liberating. Because I know that even the most sincere person cannot be completely sincere to me 100% of the time, I don't expect that person to be. Because I know that even I cannot be perfectly trustworthy, I don't demand that my wife be perfectly trustworthy. Of course I put my faith in her and in myself that we will not betray each other - but I do this knowing fully well that we will make mistakes and we will hurt each other at times. As humans, we can only do our very best - that is all. Knowing this, I let go of unrealistic expectations of myself and other people and rest easy in uncertainty.

Many times you can only jump knowing only that the fall may or may not kill you.

 

4 failed attempts brought you to that conclusion on 4 billion men?

Again I ask the same.

Did your parents love each other? Do people who don't really love each other always get married? Has there not been men who join the army? Fight for a cause? Like you women? Sacrificing themselves for what could have been vanity.

What do you get from a moment of dissatisfaction?

Do they?

 

You are, yourself, playing love games.

 

Sorry, was playing Sudoku. What was the question?

 

Why did WB Yeats have to write, "women crave for idle men, though their children need a rich estate?" We ain't the only ones screwed up!

 

If you're tired of being walked all over, then stop laying down like a carpet. It's no secret that chicks are attracted to assholes and don't give a second thought to the type of guy who will treat them with respect. If you keep having the same experience every time, then you are setting yourself up for it.

STOP hooking up with guys and start hanging out with them instead. If you're going out with them just because you find them attractive, then why is it a surprise that you are in a strictly physical relationship? Just because you you have slept with someone, it doesn't mean you are in a committed relationship.

I not saying this to pick on you. You will be in a much better position if you come to the following realizations:

1) You have a lot to offer, and as such, deserve a mate who cherishes everything you have to offer.

2) It is better to be alone for the right reasons, than to be with someone for the wrong reasons.

3) There are plenty of fish in the sea. You can let some go until you find the one you want.


Just embrace dating as relationship training. You think you know what you want, but as you build experience you will notice that your priorities will change. It takes getting burned a couple of times to realize that you need to be more selective. No doubt, you also have some issues to work out yourself before you will attract the type of person you desire. Go take some risks and learn form your experiences. Best to make mistakes now and learn from them, than to find the right one and drive him away with your insecurities.

A little self-confidence goes a long way.

 

I don't think the games people play are choreographed in the way that we might imagine. There doesn't really appear to be any competence displayed. People win but they also loose in competition and the choice to participate is more a defensive reaction as opposed to a positive assertion. I'm saying that people are not so much predatory jerks as they just simply don't know how to behave. Isn't this the reason we are searching, because the answer is not evident.

 

To question the male capacity for love because of some bad experiences is absolutely ridiculous, and quite discriminatory, really.
Like there aren't women heartbreakers.

Haven't you known any couples to be married until death? Haven't you known any men who loved? Not even just romantically, but clearly have had the capacity for love? What about Mr. Rogers? Martin Luther King, Jr? What about your male friends and family?

You said it yourself, you were vulnerable and didn't protect yourself from the predators - just because you got hurt by these men doesn't mean that all men are bad. That's like saying all food is bad because you had a few meals once that made you puke.

Some of these men are just dicks, but most act like this because they are insecure and think that it's how they are supposed to act (thanks to the media and the almost total lack of parental influence these days), or insecure and afraid to get hurt, or sometimes they have been hurt themselves and are bitter and think that this is the only way they can get real gratification.

Most of these men don't know romantic love or are afraid of romantic love. I know they've done some bad things, but they are lost. Don't let them scare you from love, don't get lost in a world of hurt or anger or fear or hate. Be better than that, you clearly have the capacity.

Oh and learn how to protect yourself. Take things slow and really get to know a guy, don't let a crush or limerence blind you, and think critically about the guys that court you.

 

A question that could be debated on both sides and most likely will be till the end of time.

 

I was gonna give you good rep, but apparently I have to give out rep points to other people before I give it to you again so: count this post as one rep point.