I posted in the ‘How old were you when you had your first child?’ thread when I was 20, nearly 21 saying how I was ready then to have a child. At the time me & my fiancé discussed it a lot & as we were living in rented accommodation with other people & we thought it best to wait until we had a place of our own. We have lived in rented accommodation together for 6 years now & we moved in March 2009 in to another rented house. The house is my fiancés mums house that we are going to be buying in March 2011 (hopefully), we have to rent right now due to the mortgage restrictions in the UK at the mo, it’s a long story. Hopefully by the time March 2011 come round the restrictions won’t be so bad, they are slowly getting lower now & the market is picking back up. We just started renovating the house, we have had it all re-wired, a new more environmentally friendly boiler put in, ripped out the old gas fire & we have a multi-fuel stove in instead. The living room is almost complete but the rest of the house is a mess. We have knocked out an internal brick wall, we have to have the whole house re-plastered we don’t have any flooring down in any room apart from the living room, it’s just a night mare at the mo. We initially were going to start a family after the house was finished & it was our own & not the mother in laws (who we don’t initially get on with but that’s a whole other story). But at the end of November I found that I was pregnant. My fiancé took the news much better than I thought he would, actually he is over the moon & is really excited. He did worry alittle at first because of the house & how we would afford it etc but now it’s sunk in & he’s though about it more he can’t wait. While I have always wanted children, back when we discussed kids when I was 20 & we decided not to have any just then I have put it to the back of my mind & just got on with enjoying my life. The broody ness disappeared, I enjoyed doing all the things young childless 20 something women do. From then it’s always been in my head that kids would just come later, even up to before I found out I was pregnant kids were just something that would happen later, maybe a year or so later but its happening now & I’m the one panicking! I’m 25, 26 in March. I don’t know if I’m ready, I don’t know if I’ll be a good mum. I’m shocked at the price of reusable nappies, cots, bassinets, buggies (strollers), slings & car seats. I’m worried if we are going to be able to afford it all, if we can afford the house & whether the house will be finished in time. Its strange because back when I was younger I felt so much more ready, I don’t know if that was because I was kind of living in a fantasy world where children were concerned & now I’m being more realistic. I am happy about the pregnancy, well as happy as I can be thought the sickness, nausea, exhaustion, strange bowel movements, headaches etc. I don’t know why I’ve written this or what kind of response I’m hoping to get. Maybe I’m asking if this is normal to feel this way? Will this feeling of panic & not been ready go away?
I think it's completely normal. If you weren't worried it would show a lack of concern. But just know that worry accomplishes nothing. Take a breath. IMHO no one is ever "ready" for children. You just get ready LOL I was 22 when I had my first. Babies don't need a whole lot in the beginning. Diapers you can buy used www.diaperswappers.com and www.thediaperpin.com and you can find used slings and baby carriers at www.thebabywearer.com. Breastfeed your baby, it's what nature intended and will save you a ton on Dr bills because your baby will be much healthier. As for the house, the baby won't mobile until roughly 6months of age or better so you have an extra 1/2 year in that respect. Ask all the questions you have, no question is a dumb question except the one you don't ask. Knowledge is power so educate and empower yourself Mama. This is your baby and you get to call the shots- all of them, so make sure you are informed and empowered. I have a blog you may wanna check out - www.mamamojo.wordpress.com Also - there is a great Mama forum at www.mothering.com Be blessed and congratulations!! Welcome to the rest of your life!!
It's normal to be concerned. Me and my husband don't make a load of money and have practically no savings. I used to work but decided to quit when my maternity leave was over and I was supposed to introduce a bottle to my baby. That just destroyed me. So from one day to the next I was unemployed but never happier. We were a bit concerned about paying our bills with a third person in the family but ironically now we've managed to save more that before. Like mamamojo said, breastfeeding I'd say is the top money saver, no bottles, no expensive formula and hardly any trips to the doctor or hospital. And most important of all a happy baby. As far as diapering, I bought 15 reusable all in one diapers. I bought Kushies on Amazon.com and Walmart.com. They are the cheapest I found and great quality, I have no complaints. I use those to go out, at home I uses regular diaper cloths with covers or snappies. Oh and we use baby wash cloths instead of babywipes. For clothing all you need are the basics, onsies are great, confortable and convenient oh and cheap. Hand me downs are great too. Have a babyshower and ask for the things that you really need, sling, carseat, diapers and other escentials or just money. I asked for a crib and my baby ended up in our bed, the travel play-yard is hardly used at all because we "babywear", you can look that up too. I hope this advice will help you. Feel free to send me a message if you need more advice. I have tons. So stop worrying and enjoy your pregnancy.
