Girlfriend has never cum

The "stop when she says 'stop'" thing is a mixed bag. I mean, an orgasm could be defined as the point when the pleasure gets to be too much. I've had all sorts of partners who yell, scream, and shout "no, no, no" when they really mean "YES-YES-YES!" I think talking to her about it, in a playful, thoughtful context, is the way to go.

 

oops.

 

Sit down and talk to her about it, tell her it's important to you that she at least goes through it once. Ask her if she's willing to go 'all the way' just one time - and if she decides she still doesn't want to, that's the end of it...but if you've been together this long and likely will be together a long time to come - it's not healthy to the relationship to not at least explore the event fully once.

 

Dude, man up, whats with all the sulking?

Just because she says you are her first doesnt make it true, why would she lie to you? What if she thinks sharing the details of her true first are going to make you think she is a freak, or damaged goods or ultimately lead to you rejecting her.

There sounds like some kind of negative reinforcement going on with the orgasms, to get herself over the line she has to think of a certain someone or will automatically be forced to remember a certain someone, which is why she doesnt want to do it, especially with the guy she loves.

Either that or you do suck in bed, always start coming as she starts coming, leaving her stranded mid vag Big O, which is really really frustrating to them.


If its option A, either try and guess it and tackle it head on (she's never going to tell you) "Dont worry sweetie, if he pops in your head, let it happen, I'm here we'll work through the problem, lets train you off him, onto me" type thing

Or work out the opposite of that association, if that certain someone was Uncle Jimmy and he was a calm guy, then go all Stone Age, pull her by the hair, maybe plug the other hole even, stay away from face to face missionary. Or vice versa if Uncle Jimmy was an asshole ( well he was an asshole anyway, but I mean asshole as in being rough as well).

Or if its option B, do your kegels, think of dead kittens, hang a picture of grandma above the beadpost, whatever it takes to last longer than the average sitcom

 

Yeah, I just have to talk to her about it more. I'm going to go back and look over the links I got earlier in the thread from the ladies, and see if there's anything that seems good for first timers or even virgins.
Actually, maybe I should remind her that at one time she was just as nervous about sex, and didn't learn how to enjoy it until she tried it a couple times.
She's really cool on the outside and I easily forget how nervous and awkward she can be on the inside. I guess I was waiting for her to be like "ohh ohh my turn", when really she's more of the "let me do you now" sorta girl.
I didn't want to be pushy, but I realize now that I was trying so hard not to be pushy that I was avoiding the topic completely. I mean, I don't think I mentioned this, but I originally planned to make a thread about this over a year ago =P
I've been thinking this whole time about her side of this, and I have been trying to suppress my desire - but reading your post made me realize how I feel, thank you.

Just because I'm the only one here talking to you doesn't make it not true. If I could summon a virtual copy of her I would, but yeah...
I don't think I'm her only lover because she says so, I know I'm her only lover cause I know her. I've known her since she was an awkward teenager, and I know her now that she's a blossoming twenty-something, that you think you know her better by your previous experiences and a few pages of writing is really funny to me. (And it's something we all do, but you're being very adamant here, which I find odd.)


As far as the sucking in bed - may be true about intercourse (though she sure doesn't agree - I'm her only, so I can't trust her judgment =P) - but this isn't about intercourse - we enjoy most all sexual expression equally, and usually focus on touching (cause we can kiss during) or oral (cause it's so intense) followed up by fucking for a nice sense of intimacy or release of aggression, depending on our moods and time concerns.


Again, thank you all for spending your time trying to help.

 

No one ever really gets to fully know anyone, that requires reading their mind, seeing the crazy stuff they dream.

Why is it so important that you are her only lover, is it more important to you or to her?

If you KNOW her, why does this thread even exist?

Not trying to be a dick here, just trying to point you in the right direction You don't think its at all possible the main cause of the "problem" is about something you don't know about her?

 

True.

Because I am here trying to get advice, and you are answering to a problem that doesn't exist.

Honestly, I realize now that this thread exists 'cause I'm stupid and wasn't talking to her because I didn't want to pressure her, even though I know she often needs dragged into new things.
So I mean, that I'm stupid gives you a little credence here..

It could be, yes, but I know I'm her only lover, so I know it's not that one.

 

Didnt read through the whole thread so sorry if this has already been resolved but I had a girlfriend last year with the same problem, everytime she neared climax she forced me to stop. She just wasnt relaxed enough to enjoy it.

What worked for us was oil and a long massage that slowly turned sexual, made sure she was really relaxed and a bit of teasing thrown in just to keep the atmosphere going and she did turn out to be a squirter
Had to flip the mattress over after that one

Just make sure she is fully comfortable and relaxed and let things take its natural course. Once she broke that comfort barrier she was fine afterwards, I think for her, it was just the initial apprehension of such an intense feeling but if shes comfortable enough then there shouldnt be a problem.

Hopefully this helped :cheers2:

 

Yeah, I actually just read this whole thread with her today, and this seems to be what's up.

We're unable to get too naughty because she's recovering from a minor surgery, right now - but I'm pretty sure what I'm going to try is put on some good music, make sure it smells nice with some candles or something, give her a nice deep massage, and then if need be talk her through it lovingly but sensually but firm, just telling her to relax and let the feeling take over and how sexy she is and stuff.