critisism wanted. be honest!

I've been writing lots of things like this for a long time.
Here's just a few, let me know the good the bad and the ugly!

Sherlock Holmes (Threw up on my girl friend)
Falling faster in this hole
no escape from these endless calls
i called my heart and left a note
im leaving you for someone else

Now!
The writing’s on the wall
it wont go away
its an Omen
you just run, an automation

all i see is clear blue skies
no gray gon' shit on me today
i gave away my passed decades
hoping that my past decays
hoping that my life gets stronger
hoping i can cast this trauma

looks like i already did
im back again and
im bringing a spliff
making coke heads sniff
pick up my axe and riff
pick up my axe and split

cause all i see is clear blue skies
the skies that give me faith inside
the sky will give me strength to rise.
all i know, ive lost control
bring me back again and...

Now!
The writing’s on the wall
it wont go away
its an Omen
you just run, an automation

no matter how you justify it
they just wont seem to legalize it
they say it only gets you high but
not according to the government
who get high off taxing everything that we get
our money weed and dignity
so if marijuana kills you
then i think we're all passed due
so lets just skip to the end of this
and please hand me the cannibus.
thank you.

I Hope You Don't Mind Yesterday

Youll find it hiding in shadows
youll find it hiding in cupboards
it will walk you home safe every night
it will help you remember

she helped me remember those nights
the nights i woke up so confused n outside
she helped me remember
what it was like
when i was a young boy
growin up like all the kids
a normal life on the outside
completely opposite
when you look in on the inside
but hey thats how it goes
theres no tearin up my insides
what im really concerned about though
is why shes so fly
she takes a jog around the block
n all the neighbours wave "hi"
but all i hear from her is "maybe later's" n "bye's"
so i hope you dont mind
I hope you dont mind
that I put down in words
how wonderful life is
while you're in the world

thank you bernie taupin
for your writings in songs
elton never had it
but you made him the bomb
he blew up all your songs
with his name on the front
but i guess he lived his life
beside the candle in the wind
never knowin who to cling to
when the rain set in
and when the rain sets in
me? i know to who ill cling.
like homer n his sugar pile,
i proctect the sweetest thing.

 

Join Nickleback, that is the harshest critique I can think of.