Life...exhaustion

i don't know what it was about this morning. I woke up feeling like shit just like every other day I have to wake up for school with 4 maybe 5 hours of sleep under my belt, and i've had this realization before, but it hit me especially hard this morning because I felt especially shitty from exhaustion and I just started crying/still am like a fucking baby. This isn't how I should be living. I'm clearly not made for the lifestyle everyone else seems to be fit for. every day I wake up for school I feel like shit. it's the most depressing feeling hearing my mom's voice wake me up so early in the morning because i know that for the next 8 hours of my life each day is going to suck horribly. I think i'm just exhausted and finally cracked this morning. This is all new to me, feeling like i'm having a complete fucking mental breakdown, i've always been able to maintain my composure and put on my average joe act to get through the day like everyone else. I should have left for school 10 minutes ago and i'm still sitting here sitting here crying. I guess i'll talk to my dad when he gets home in a minute and get his input, just kinda wanted to get multiple peoples. I even went to the doctor to get my blood drawn yesterday to get a bunch of shit tested, maybe that'll tell me something that can help. My first solution to put an end to all this was to just take off for the northwest coast and see what happens but I wanna be sensible here. But a change definitely needs to happen soon before I end up going completely banana's. I'm seriously SO TIRED of feeling shitty and exhausted 5 days out of the week, that just isn't how it should be IMO.
Fuck. I don't think i've ever needed a bowl so bad. sorry to pussy up the stoners lounge, it seems to happen often, but i figured if there was any group with wise people who've been through it all before it would be the SL

 

Dude-

Do you think you've been hitting some more hard core drugs lately? Maybe you need to take a break or slow down some?

Doing anything too much can really change you outlook on things-put that together with the winter-you really getting tired of school-it all adds up.

 

damn man thats rough i feel for you, i have similar feelings when i get up everyday for school but everyone has their own problems

im supposed to be in school now as well but im just sitting here waiting for third block to start so i can drive in lol..

 

That sucks Twang, I remember being like that when I was still going to school. It was a fucking drag. I would lay off everything but THC products and try to get some nice rest, get something to help with sleep,, like umisom or Tylenol PM. Get a good few nights rest under your belt, take daily vitamins and try to eat healthy to get your immune system and body back up and healthy. Talk to some ppl that you are comfortable talking to about things that have been bothering you to get it off your chest and a second opinion.

Chin up, life sucks but it wouldn't be the same w/out you to someone that cares about you.

 

Yeah school is like the gayest thing for sure. You in highschool or what? Yeah I stopped going to school in 8th grade because it sucks so much. I also got like expelled or something lol. But yeah I started doing independent studies, I would just do all my work at the end of each week, life was never better.

 

GO TO THE NORTHWEST COAST. Humboldt County, the city of arcata in particular is an amazing place to live. Pretty much every person in that town smokes weed, its been pretty much legalized in the county. Plus the drugs are fuckin cheap, 2.2 dub sacks, hits of cid for 5, gram of dmt for 40, shrooms you can pick in the forest which the town is pretty much built in. I go to school hear at Humboldt State and overall I can say this area is extremely beautiful, a great place to live, and everyone is so nice cuz there stoned all day haha

 

That is a trap. Either be content going to school, or realize that it is not what you want and drop out. Also maybe you could just try getting more sleep. I'd maybe suggest using a melatonin and valerian combination because it really does help (me atleast) get the most out of my sleep.

I've totally been in the same predicament, but it was when I was using opiates regularly. It's a pretty easy thing to realize that putting depressants into your system are gonna drain you out. Same thing as stimulants.

I smoke weed multiple times a day. Mostly at night up until I go to sleep. I get around 5 hours each night. Some mornings (like today) I feel exhausted, but give it a couple hours and my brain is awake.

 

school is set to fit only one schedule.. yet school is what gets you ready for life.. bullshit.. that's why jobs have 1st.. 2nd.. and 3rd shifts.. why can't schooling be this way? schooling should be as form fitting to your daily life as a job should be.. that's why some people work 2nd/3rds.. because they are not physically/mentally morning people

 

get more sleep, get more exercise before you do anything drastic like dropping out or moving away

also, you only have a couple months left, college life is sooo much easier. my first class is at 11 AM on MWF and 2 PM on Tues/Thurs

 

school up until college is bullshit. you're spending the prime of you life sitting in a chair for 35 hours a week being program to be a stressed out robot for the rest of your life.

 

I get about 4 or 5 hours sleep a night too, our schooling system isnt stressful at all though, more just an annoyance. Getting up so early for something you dont want to do is always taxing though, gone through 13 years of it now though, no point giving up now.

I just have 3 months till Im free so Im keeping that in mind and just pushing myself towards the end

 

Yeah if I get anything less than 8 hours I feel super shitty. Some people say they only get 5 hours and they look fine, not how it is with me, I would look horrible. Thats why I make sure to get all my sleep no matter what I sleep through.

 

I've been dealing with sleep issues since middle school, my body just isn't made to go to sleep at the time I should for school. Trust me i've tried it all, everything that's been mentioned and then some. I use a lot of diphenhydramine, doxylamine succinate, and marijuana. mix em up, use em independently, sometimes it even works for a few days

I'm just a nocturnal creature and that's the way it is.

 

Twang I honestly think its your body getting drained from the drugs. I think you should wipe your body clean for a while and see how you feel from there.

School is a bitch I know. but dropping out and moving out isnt any easier. its much more harder and stressful, get your diploma while you can, you're a senior, c'mon.

Then you can move on easily in life. You sound really depressed too by crying at random moments. I do the same. CAuse im stressed out but I still have hope!! And drugs WILL NOT help it at all.

 

this weekend was actually the easiest i've taken on drugs in a long time because of work. And it's been soooo long since i've cried like multiple months, I dunno what came over me this morning.
I had a total of 1.5 beers over the 5 day weekend, it's been four days since i've blown any OC, all i did this weekend was smoke marijuana eat a few valiums....at least i think.... I know I definitely didn't go party hard this weeknd I just gathered with friends and sat down n smoked weed cause I was always beeaatt from work all week. No raves or anything.

 

im fed up with life also man.

i dropped out of college cause for the life of me i couldnt think of just one career that i wanted to spend the rest of my life working towards.

since then, its just been the same old daily grind. wake up, go to work at my shitty ass job that has absolutely no future for me, come home, get high, pay bills, go to sleep - repeat.

personally im just so frustrated with money. i hate it. everything in this world is money. everything. we are born and raised in this world to do absolutely nothing but make money. everything comes down to the dollar amount you are worth, and i fucking cant stand it.

lately ive just been wanting to walk into a pawn shop with everything i own, get what i can for it, and just leave. just drive wherever i feel like, and when i run out of money, i run out of money. i just want to exist, to just be here now, in the moment, and enjoy just being alive. everything else is secondary to me. its not like im doing anything at my job that will change the world or help out tons of people in this world.. and for the life of me i just cant find a reason to continue to work when the ONLY purpose of me doing so, is so i can have creature comforts tomorrow and to support a system which i am wholeheartedly against.

we all grow up with this mentality of; go to school, get a job, buy things, procreate... thats not the life i want. i want to just exist, and be happy with my existance.. even if i have absolutely nothing except the clothes on my back to show for it.

the whole thing is bizarre to me.. i too am fucking sick of it.

 

Going through school I could only sleep for about 3 hours a day at that time in life, there was nothing I could do about it. There was like 1 day a month I would crash and get 8 hours in. That went away after a while though. I battled the same problems with sleep.

Maybe you should start working out and getting more active to release built up energy and get more tired before you go to sleep. Start moderately.

If you want another persective on your problems you are more than welcome to PM me.

 

maybe you should get on a sleep aide like Trazadone or Seroquel

 

Can't fucking wait til i'm 18 bro, I absolutely love seroqeuel, fucking love it, knocks me the fuck out. Right now my parents are against putting me on sleep medications. When I'm 18 and don't have to have them cosign and shit at the doctor's office hopefully i'll be set.


and Chadcr, you took the words right outta my fucking mouth. amen dude

 

being a night owl can be rough, man i can relate. when i was in school my mom always made us go to bed by 10 or something on a school night but i was never tired.. would wake up feeling completely miserable and exhausted and i used to dread going to school for a lot of reasons. i wish i had good advice but the only thing i can think of is melatonin. have you considered taking that? it's natural and it's supposed to help regulate your sleep and all that.