I feel like god damn Dr. Phil

Every single time I start talking a lot to a girl that I'm interested, it feels they seek out my advice more than they seek anything else from me. This has been happening to me for all of high school now, and I'm just sick of it. It's not getting me any action or any steady relationships, and I'm more of a fucking psychologist to these dumb broads more than anything. How do I keep a nice balance of nice guy and dickhead AKA "hey i wanna be more than just friends.

 

My good guy friend has the same problem...

And I guess all I can say is just stop listening. If your looking for love then don't play the bff role. Be more aggressive and assertive.
Stop being their friends, start looking at them as romances.

I have never gushed out my life pity's and sob stories to a guy I genuinely am attracted too..

Listening wont get you far... Sadly.

 

So then what do I do when they start blabbing out about it randomly? I feel like if they say their problems and I say something along the lines of "Yeah, I don't really want to help you out with that." they will just stop talking to me. Every time this comes up I feel like being nice will get me where I want but it always gets me to the abyssic friend zone.

 

I may not be the greatest for this advice seeing as i've only had a handful of relationships. But I would say you have to not care if they stop talking to you and in fact talk to multiple girls at once. Especially in high school don't lay all your eggs in one basket.....errrr... something. Girls tend to 'elevate' your status if they know you are seeing more than just them.

 

querillabedlam is very right..

If you tie this in with not talking much to a girl... They'll be all over your nuts.

You need to give off a vibe of thinking they're attractive... Not so much liking them.
Once a girl knows you like she's got it in the bag. And just uses you.

 

Correct!

So instead you slide up to them nice and close like, get that arm of comfort to lean on over their shoulder and suggest you do something to help them forget their problems and get your Mack on Daddy.

 

if girls are talking to you and asking you for advice that means they trust you, respect you, and see you as at least a friend. what's wrong with that? if you're interested in them, show it. try to go to the next level with them.

if you're not interested in having friends who can become girlfriends and you just want to fuck around then just play the "i'm too cool to pay attention or listen to you" aka asshole card and you'll have lots of immature, insecure and codependent girls flocking to you

running a game will only get you so far and it will get old

 

Absolutely true D.G. but it sounds as if he hasnt been running any game and thats gotten old for him. He's only 17 and doubtfully looking for a serious long term commitment from anyone at this point in his life. Nothing wrong if he is, and if so should actually take your advice in this instance, but if he's just looking ta "git-er-done",,, well,,, that's his call. :cheers2:

 

Accurate, from beginning to end.

 

You gotta ask them to hang out. Get 'em plenty drunk.... Then they'll either forget about their problems or go into "bitch about my life" overdrive.

Either way it will end up with at least a hug.

 

So I went and told this girl that I didn't want to hear about her man problems anymore, but it kind of backfired on me because I told her previously that I didn't want a relationship. Then she told me she wasn't DTF. But fuck it, atleast its a start.


EDIT: What do you mean "non bff related" conversation?

 

it is a start, and im sorry it didn't work out. For future situations alot of girls, especially when you are just trying to hookup are about the initial move. The way you carry yourself and talk to her initially can tell a woman alot.

Also this may sound weird and you said that girl said already she wasn't dtf so it doesn't matter, but you don't have to be so blatant about telling a girl you don't want to hear her problems or other guys. Just steer the direction of the conversation away from that and have it focus on yours and hers friendship/relationship. Just because you don't want to listen to her talk about other guys and her problems does not make you an asshole.

The bff stands for best friend forever. I think she was pretty much trying to convey what I said in the 2nd paragraph.

 

Well I know what a bff is, but I don't quite understand what you mean by non-bff related conversation. Are you trying to say basically anything but all that bullshit? Just clear and casual conversation about everything and nothing?

 

Ya know, touching on their problems briefly in conversation isn't a bad thing necessarily, provided of course it's brief and you quickly shift the subject to how you would treat her differently.

 

Im sorry about your problem, but

another thread to add to the 2678342 relationship advice threads?

 

love, its a bitch.

 

My hubby was the exact same way when in high school and after high school he was considered a bit of a ladies man. I know it doesn't help the situation now... but as women and men mature I think them women learn to appreciate this type of man more as a partner and not so much as a best friend.

 

I dislike you as a person, yet still find this to be relatively close to the truth.