A compromising movie moment situation, help.

So, here's the story. When I was young, I wanted to meet someone new, so my friend Devon gave me his friends email. We got to talking, everything he said was witty and comical and our words flowed so easily. He came over at one point with friends and when I saw him....Words can't explain, but they'll have to so you can understand what i'm talking about.

Basically I felt like, I had never lived until that day. But I'd never live again because I knew I could never really be what he wanted. Because I'd never feel worthy. He's gorgeous, but it's not one of those things really, it's emotionally I mean.

Anyways, he ended up moving to Toronto, we had fooled around and cuddled that sums it up. But everytime hes in town we usually hangout only now not so much because im trying to avoid him. Because this unrequited miserable love drags me down man. You know the whole....unconditional love thing for the rest of your life is exhausting, especially when the guy lives 4 hours away. But he always wants to see me, and I love him.

His best friends seems to really like me, we're friends, we get each other, we've made comments that we're from the same planet. He's a hippie too man, he has a beard and hes peaceful and loving and open minded. He's really great and he makes comments like we should sleep together and such. I'm not offended in the least obviously because, he's a great guy, but wouldn't that be a terrible thing to do?

Anyways, sometimes I wish he wasn't his best friend, that way I could move on with my life with him and it would be cool.

Then there's erik (toronto guy im in love with) I don't want to be with him because I love him so much I just want him to be happy without me, as long as hes happy somewhere in this world I can be happy. That's all I want, its a completly unselfish love. I've loved him for....as long as I can remember, years and years. Each year stronger then the next.


It's just all so soap opera, I wish to disengage myself from it all but its beautiful you know, love is beautiful. Thoughts?

 

Unconditional contentment of the self. People are great, family is great, bonds are formed. And if we invest too much, we may not see return which can prevent the connection all together. I've fucked it up before. I had to find myself in it all.

 

I'm the original, fucked-it-up-now-has-to-live-with-it. Man if I had a Dolorian, everything would be sunshine and daisies.

 

I'm in a similar situation and I think my heart is going to remain lonely. =( =| =)

 

You're still young.... you never know what might happen in the future. Might as well try to live your life day to day and go with the flow.