never had a serious relationship...why?

So I'm 25 and I've dated girls in the past but I've never had a long term, serious relationship, and it really gets me down. And I honestly don't know why...I'm good looking, smart, have a good job, good friends and an active social life, there is no obvious reason why I never wind up in a relationship. It sucks because most of my friends are in relationships or are even getting married and some have kids, and I'm perpetually (with some exceptions) single. I worry that people think I'm gay or a prude, neither of which is true.

Anyone else like this out there?

 

Well, how come things have never gotten serious with the girls you have dated?

 

First of all, you're putting way too much weight on the opinions of people who really don't matter... this is making you feel pressured into assuming a role in a relationship you may not be ready for- or with someone you're not compatible with.

If a relationship is in your future it will happen in its own time. The best thing for you to do is NOT try desperately to hook up but to concentrate on being happy just being yourself. That alone will be enough to attract the person meant for you... and it will happen in its own time.

Most of the people I know who got married young and had kids went through an injurious and acrimonious split up that damaged them and the kids they had.

 

I always found that I never opened up enough to people I was with; was scared of letting anyone get close, so relationships never really took off.

 

I'm 26, and I've never had a relationship that lasted for more than 6 months. A lot of the my friends are getting married, having kids, etc., but it doesn't bother me at all. I realize that I'm just not the settling down type of guy. I don't want kids, and I can't really see myself getting married (although I never say never).

If I were you I wouldn't be bummed about not being in a serious relationship. I enjoy being single and having the freedom to hook up with different girls. The relationships might not have any depth to them, but that's fine by me. I'd be bummed if I wasn't getting laid at all.

 

Agree both with Tipsy and Stink. First you have stop comparing yourself with your friends' situation as it will cloud yourt judgement and perhaps make you slightly desparate - leading to bad choices.

Second, maybe you're not ready, emotionally available (big fancy word but it's often frequently the case) or don't know what you want out of a relationship? Are you waiting to be 'wowed' as such without knowing what you like? Are your expectations turned outwards? I know it was my situation back then and it didn't get me very far.

Have a good serious think about it and you'll see, it will fall into place. Confidence is the trick and confidence in a man is damn attractive.

 

I can relate with you,I have the exact same problem. Sometimes it is like all of the above posts say but it's still lonely and can create massive feelings of insecurity. Anyways, just wanted to let you know there are more of us out there and even though it sucks you're not alone.

 

So the problem isn't really your ability to land a relationship, but in making it seem "serious"? Well, next time you date a person, make sure you're into them? You still have plenty of time to find somebody. The door closes when you stop trying.

 

Well I was like this before. Before I met my wife the longest relationship I had lasted four months. And I didn't have a girlfriend for years. And yes, some people thought I was gay.

Short answer as to why: I just wasn't ready. That's all. Then after a while I was ready and then I met someone and we clicked and we fell in love...

 

Well i am 22 and i have never had anything last more than a couple of months!3 4 at best.
Friends tell me i am good looking intelligent i know i am (im sorry i do not mean to sound presumptuous) and yet i never seem to find the right key to open the door to a man's heart.
I cant say i have a good job yet i am just finishing uni(also i found often that most men like to have a better job than you,i suppose it gives an advantage)
2 of my friends are married,even my brother is in a committed relationship and hes just 20.
I am not sure what are the reasons or what i need to change to reach that point.
Did anything work for you?Hi

 

these types of issues mean you have to really look at yourself and figure out what may be the reason to this.

Sometimes it just comes down to going for the wrong types of people...really ask yourself why this could be happening

 

i grew up in a small town. my friends basically married and had kids the day after graduation.

most of them are already divorced.

 

Well, I hope OP is doing okay, but I think the name "sheep rooter" might be rather related to his problem.

 

I wish I was in you position pal.

 

It struck me also that the reason the OP lists for wanting a relationship is other people.

That being said, I have recently tried dating and when I'm honest with myself, the reason why was social validation...and, perhaps comfort. Granted, it was just a fleeting experiment.

I got stood up and I am back to my devoted bachelor ways.

 

maybe its as simple as "you're not datable material"