Daughter asked THE question last night

my daughter cassidy is 8, and last night she asked where babies come from. i said a womans uterus, and she says, well, how did it get there. any suggestions for talking to kids about sex and creation? my mom showed me a really embarrassing book, anyone else have stories of telling their kids? thanks

 

Just tell her. At least she will hear the scientifically correct answer.

 

at 8 years old, You have said enough. Thats what i think, anyways. You will have plenty of time to cross that bridge but I dont think an 8 year old can wrap her mind around that.

 

my mom gave me a book ; "where did i come from" but imo, she gave it to me @ 2 too young of an age (6 ) I wasn't even thinking or wondering about stuff like that...I do think if a kid asks, they want to know, about the biology of it...practical information. Like you did!

 

My son is 5 and just asked a few days ago. A couple of months ago, he asked how the baby got in the mommy's tummy and I told him about the sperm and the egg. This time he asked how the sperm got to the egg, so I gave him a basic understanding of sex and showed him internal diagrams of men and women so he could see how they were different and where the baby grew. Then he asked for a video, so I showed him a clip of the sperms and the egg and a cartoon of the egg dividing and growing into a baby.

Is 5 unusually early to be asking about this stuff? We're a bit unusual, admittedly, because I'm studying to be a midwife, so my son has seen tons of videos of births and breastfeeding, plus we're trying to get pregnant and we're planning a homebirth, so we want to be sure he knows what to expect since he'll probably be present for the birth.

 

The onset of puberty is like a bell curve, there is always going to be that 2 % that start earlier than everyone else. That 2% that start at 6, 5% that have started by 8, 20% that have started by 12 and so on.

Just cos you remember being a certain way at a certain age, doesnt mean its going to be the same way for your kid.

And with this kind of stuff, their peers are going to be a far bigger influence.

I started a month away from my 8th birthday, or more accurately, they started on me, even at that age I knew my dad wouldnt understand, he was an average joe all the females didnt pay much attention to.

Irrespective of anything to do with sex, at 8 your kid gets whether she's like mommy or not, or that her sister is more like mommy than she is. Hit the pretend thing at the wrong age, try and shelter her and she's going to end up thinking you are the innocent one that needs protecting.

Do you remember a period of time pretending Santa still exists to keep your parents happy?

 

I walked in on my sons and their little female friends looking at each others stuff with a flashlight when they were 6 & 8. I just shut the door and never said anything about it. Of course they didn't either. Natural curiosity. I'm sure they were embarassed ,but I didn't see any reason to hassle them with guilt feelings. My people would've really shamed me badly if I had been caught doing the same thing.(never caught) My kids never asked me anything (I was ready) ,so I can't help much. I suppose "the talk"depends on the maturity level.

 

man oh man! when i was 9 years old, my 8 year old friend vickie, spied on her sister and her sisters' boyfriend fucking.
vickie proprsition me to try fucking with her, and we did.
my parents would have gone apeshit if they every found out about that!
in fact, a couple of months before vickie and tried fucking, vickie and i were in her room showing each other what was in our pants.
we were exploring each others stuff, when my mother walk in on us, to tell me we were going home.
there i was with three of my fingers inside vickie's vagina.
my mother went apeshit and, beat the living shit out of me with a curtain rod.


years later, when my sister was forced by the court to give me guardianship of my niece and nephew; i knew, there was no way in all of heaven or hell, i was going to put them through what i went through!
i raised both of them in the unitarian church.
the unitarian church has a program called 'about your sexuality.'
it covers sexual matters at from pre-school through college.
it is divided into stages, that are age developmental approprate.
other liberal religions and liberal schools use the 'about your sexuality program.'


i have no problem at all, recommending to hippies and members of hip forums this program of sex education! :cheers2:
in fact, the unitarian religion quite a "hippie religion!" arty:

 

Somehow age-appropriate answers seem to be a lot better than going over the entire anatomy and physiology of the human body...it seems really off to me to explain how the sperm goes into the egg and show scientific diagrams to a 5-year-old or 9-year-old when, in school, we're not even even showed these diagrams and explanations until junior high or high school :/ Of course it's important to tell the truth and try to offer an honest answer but talking about sperm, eggs, and sexual intercourse in detail seem like they would be as effective as talking about meiosis and cellular structure imo! Be age-appropriate, try to put in in terms that someone that age could understand

 

Just don't say "When two people love eachother..."

Not always the case.

 

I'm preggers and have a 2 year old and planning on a home birth. We've gone over a book Conception, Pregnancy and Birth. She doesn't really speak sentences yet. We've established that there is a baby in mommy's belly. We've established that this baby is her brother who will be joining us soon. When she first starts asking (or when he does) how did the baby get there, I will just say that we decided to have a baby so daddy put one there. I guess the next question would be how... and then I'd say... we had sex... then get more into the biology of it. The whole, when two people love each other speech is a bit too romantic for me. I'm more of the "When two mammals have sex, there is always a chance of getting pregnant, but when two people want to make a baby, they have sex and do all that they know how to "catch". It's how mammals make babies.". This will make more sense though to my little ones because we'll have goats, alpacas, chickens etc. I learned about sex through breeding goats with my family. The buck covers the doe. You see it happen, it is not gross... just a thing if you do it right... If I remember right, you cover her a few times if she still accepts him. Then... months later, a couple of babies happen. You get to feel the tummy and the babies inside kicking... It was quite beautiful. And then the birth. It was really a wonderful learning experience.

Oh yah. And then you get the opportunity to discuss "coming into season" and menstration.

 

I told my son when a man is older he produces sperm and women produce an egg and when those two things meet a baby starts to form. He's 8 he probably forgot we even talked about it. Ive told him a few times where babies come from..he just forgets.

 

If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know. I think sex ed. in schools comes way, way too late these days. When i was 8, I didn't know a thing about sex, but 8 year olds now days are exposed to so much so early, through television, movies, magazines, books, the internet etc. I think we are starting awfully late if you wait until these kids are 12.

Hell, even when I was 10, I knew some kids my age that were having sex...I can't imagine what it's like now...

 

It's the 21st century. tell her the truth. the full truth

 

being a mum of 3 kids it is hard to face a question like this. my oldest is 8 and while im not so worried about telling her the ins and outs of sex its more what is she gonna think of me afterwards knowing i do that lol.
i havent come to that path for her but she has asked me what a period is and whys girls have them, ive been honest with her. i think even tho it is hard to say it, it is the best option. all you can do is be honest and tell it to her in a way she will undestand. for me i believe it is the parents right and responsibility. i want my kids to come to me when they what to know something even if it is the dreaded sex question.

good luck.

 

You can tell her when two people care about each other and hopefully are in love. They show each other how much they care with their bodies and a baby is made.

You don't have to get all descriptive just yet, she's still young. (you dont want her getting any ideas)
I like what you said tho, maybe you could talk about how special it is to have a baby.

 

Just tell them it's when boys and girls cuddle or something like that. I mean, she is going to find out in school in the next couple of years anyways, so you don't have to let her in on the big secret yet

 

There's a great book out called: ''It's Not the Stork: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends'' by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley. It's for ages 4-8 and explains EVERYTHING about bodies and babies in a way that young kids can understand.

 

As a woman who was a lil girl once, a mother of one son and two daughters, I'd say maybe that book Maryjblaze mentioned would be good. I havent seen it, but by now, it makes sense someone finally wrote a decent book about this for lil ones with big questions. Even if they are at a younger siblings birth while still babies them selves, it doesnt actually cover this age group and their curiosity. Be as honest as you can, as educational as you feel she can handle, she is your lil one, trust your instincts. Good luck, and bright blessings Mama!

 

Yeah, and then in a couple years when half of the school kids are getting knocked up, the kid believes the young mommies and daddies are truly in love - cause that's how you make babies! And then she wants a baby's daddy of her own.

NO.

Never ever ever tell a kid these fantasy-ass hollywood answers. That is what is wrong with our society.

Why don't people ever stop and think about how dangerous giving kid's delusions that life is rosy and perfect is?