Ways to vent, calm down, cool off?

My mother drives me up the wall. She gets me to this extremely stressed state and its hard to deal sometimes. I know i'm alot to handle I screw up alot and dont attent school when im supposed to but the things that are said when we're argueing are like hard to beleive. It's worse then the osbournes sometimes lol. Anyways I just need ways to vent.

 

God, I know how you feel. I moved back home for a while when I left my job and I was stuck in the middle of two alcoholic family members and a mother who seems crazy at times, it isn't easy!

Sometimes it really drives me crazy and I need to get out, so go for a very long walk, or I start drinking. It's a nightmare at times my family.

 

I'm glad you have an idea of what it's like. It's hell sometimes isnt it. Ugh.

 

Yeah it is. I screw up a lot too and sometimes seemed determined to fuck things up, but having a family like that doesn't help!

We can vent together

 

Take a pill. Or... concentrate on breathing deeply, extend your exhalation.

 

my best advice is to take deep breaths and then to acknowledge your anger and cope with your feelings. try journaling, making art, writing a letter and keeping/burning/tearing it, go somewhere safe to throw a ball or some object as hard and as far as you can and picture it as your angry feelings (yeah that sounds silly but i can almost guarantee you it makes you feel better), meditate and visualize holding a balloon that holds your upset feelings and let go of the balloon and watch it float to the sky when you're ready. this can be harder than it sounds

i can relate to your situation a lot and these have helped me, i hope they help you
best wishes eace:

 

Practice mindful breathing
and meditating
Your mom might be suffering she just expresses it different.
I suggest a book called 'Anger' by Thich Nhat Hanh
VERY GOOD BOOK.

 

Writing all the hateful and angry things down that you want to say to her but shouldn't, then tearing up the paper you wrote it on is a helpful exercise. Take up exercise. If you have access to a punching bag and boxing gloves, go at it. Go running or walking, go out into the woods and scream out to no one.

Perhaps evaluating where your own life is going (you mention you're a lot for your mom to handle) and trying to better yourself for YOU, not to please anyone else BUT you (look into school options, job training, counseling, etc. for yourself) is a good long-term goal. It sounds like your mom is trying to push your buttons. You do things that bother her and instead of being able to be civilized about it she says hateful crazy things to try and get your attention. It's not the best way to handle it, but parents aren't perfect. My dad used to verbally abuse me - he'd say a lot of things that are very hard to forgive, even after years of no verbal abuse. It's hard to heal from. Good luck!

By the way, it took 7 years of living on my own through trial and error to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I'm going back to school in the fall, majoring in cosmology and astrophysics, and hoping to eventually end up as a research scientist in the field. Sometimes it takes some of us longer to figure it out. My only advice is to not stay in school if you are directionless (college I mean) because F's and withdrawn classes look bad on your transcripts. I'm now in the state of needing to repair my GPA and do a whole lot of making up for those mistakes in order to not look like a total buffoon when I'm looking for grad school options. If I could go back, I would have dropped out of college when my grades still looked decent.

 

Find the book "Toxic People" (Sorry, I forget the Author's name a.t.m.) and find all your annoying traits as well as your mothers. Highlight them both in different colors and then sit down and have an honest and open discussion as to the ways the both of you can avoid setting each other off or at least find more way's for yourself to stop playing into her negative cycles??

And in the event you cant find that book, heres another one I've found immensely useful in dealing with fucked up people. (Or just people in general.)
http://www.scribd.com/doc/4000379/Roger-Stephens-A-Dangerous-Book

 

go fish.
shoot some hoops, ride a bike.
go outside and get some fresh air. get away from the disturbed environment (your home).

it's your mom, she loves you. you can always talk to her about how you're feeling. the thing is, be calm when you ask her. you don't wanna say "HEY MOM I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU!!!!"
you may also build a stronger relationship with your mom if you talk to her seriously about what she does or what she says and how it affects you. communication is key in a relationship, don't waste it.

 

My mother has some alcoholic phases and when it happens I usually write lots in a diary or just go to a library or cinema to get away by myself.
Thankfully she hasn't been drinking lately because she broke some bones in her back (yes she was drunk).

 

im so glad that alcohol stuff is legal.. It holds families together like super glue..

 

I had a problm with alcohol for a few years, had to go for treatment im glad because now i not drinking, life is better for me and more important better for my friends and family, so i understand what its like living with an alcoholic its bad, my advice is treat them with tough love, I still smoke weed and hash:tongue: from my experience alcohol is the worse drug and its legal..thats just my little rant.

 

I would recommend running. Trust me you will be so relaxed after a good run you will not care anymore. you'll just come home sit down and melt into the couch.

plus running only gets easier over time.


so yeah once agitated just forget about it and only focus on the run and nothing else. just like people say concentrate on your breathing.

riding a bike also works but running gives better results in my opinion. and it is a more natural movement.

seriously try it. even if you hate running. you will eventually learn to like it. it just takes some patience.


also: listening to music can help and going for a walk can help. but nothing beats running.

 

I suggest you just kill them all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NeZHBxa_vg&feature=related"]YouTube - Skrillex - Kill everybody(Bare Noize Remix)

 

I'm on the other side. My step daughter is finally leaving tomorrow after living off of us for 6 months. She has done nothing to get back on her feet the whole time. I'm glad her friend sent her a plane ticket but I know she'll just be back in 2 weeks. I just don't talk to her much anymore.

 

Music and expression are the best ways I found to get out of the stress and angry state of mind, as far as dealing with your mom, mine was the same way, almost everything she stands for I completely disagree with and just hearing her say things would piss me off to no end! we get along a lot better now that i'm out of the house.