Roommate's Disaster.

Hello,

I have been living with one guy for six years now, off and on, with some tendencies for me to be unfaithful. But it all went to shreads in a night. He is a recovering alcoholic and he fell off the way deep end, despite being medicated for schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. He told me he now hated me and I was too nosy, though he never left the house and barely did anything. I helped him with everything. Anyways after he sobered up at a shelter downtown, he cried on the phone to come back, and that he wanted cigarettes because he ran out. I made him sign himself off the lease, so I could keep the place and he did. He is here now, but in the time he left I offered his bedroom to a person that is not mentally ill but merely looking for work. Believe it or not but the stuff in his bedroom all belongs to me.

He is here under the guidelines that he remain sober, and that he find appropriate housing of his own with a week and has some money to do this with, hopefully. My family is at it's wits end with my financial disaster though they are going to keep me afloat until July 31st, and the friend of the new roommate told me what was going on in more detail with them. They are both homeless and he has been crashing at gay men's homes with who knows what is going on. I am not going to let him stay here too. Is that an OK decision. I get along with the new roommate, but his friend and all of this circus has got to end. I am schizo-affective and despite being under control they put me on Zoloft temporarily to keep me from suicidal thoughts or depressing thoughts. It is working already but at the expense of sexual side effects so I am screwed up now and can't even masturbate if I had any free time to myself. It's not really important for now, and the Zoloft is temporary, but what should I do. Should I help my former roommate in any way, despite the fact he has chosen to run away from me whie taking his stuff, that I will give to him? Should I let this other person stay as well, obviously he is getting screwed over himself and both him and the friend staying in the bedroom are mentally stable and nice, and intelligent. It is refreshing, but they got no money.

I am not a shelter myself but I know that the conditions at the shelters are really bad because of the economy. My family is footing the bill for my roommate and my electricity, but I am under pressure. And to be clear before this guy moved in, he corresponded with me that he would have the couch and my former roomate was all right with this, so it wasn't out of the blue. I need someone to take over the rent and he is looking for a job quickly but I can't sign him on the lease and I don't really know him that well.

This sucks, I am stressed and they are not. I have serious responsibilities and they talk to me like they are slightly better than me, because of their freedoms while I am restricted to actually pay for shit and worry about it too.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

James

 

Hi James,

I think that what you are doing is very kind and considerate. It takes a special person to open there home to someone and to help them get back on there feet again. I suppose you already know my thoughts, but surely there is someone here that has been in a similar situation that can give some more suggestions than I. I hope some suggestions come your way and some good advice from those who have 'Been There'.

Keep up the good work and keep your guard up as you are still getting to know this person who you have taken in off the streets.

Best Wishes and Good Luck, No good deed goes unnoticed. Your a good man for helping him out in these horrible times, I think many homeless could get back into society if more people were like you and not look the other way.

Take Care,
pillhead

 

Are you working at this time?

Sorry, I just checked your page and I see you're disabled

Do you receive assistance (ie welfare, disability pension)?

 

Your in a tough situation pal...let's just face that fact...reality...there is no simple answer ever, when emotions and personal needs are involved...

All I can tell ya, is I was in a simuluar roomate situation where I tried to help or felt obligated to help a certain person...it later become more like 'fatal attraction'...could not get them to leave...and they became dependent on my generousity...

A true roomate should be totally self sustaining...in other words...there should be no dependancy on each other...both should have jobs and pay rent...

That's the healthiest way for it to be...
I'm not there with you, and don't know your situation...all I can say is do what's best for you...and your mental health...
If someone in your life is causing you stress, than they probablly should not be in your life...

 

Yes ghostchildd is right you must do what's right for you and it sounds like maybe your not in a position to help then out as much as you are but remember you have to look after number one which is you for your own sanity. We all would like to help someone in great need more than we are able to but sometimes have to make ruthless decisions which may seem cruel but subjecting yourself to this much grief isn't healthy so stand your ground. I had some people staying with me once and got into all sorts of trouble where they had pulled me down with there problem so in the end I had to tell them it was time for them to move on as i was stressed with it too. I think as well as you helping another person they also must do what they can to help themselves. I really feel for you. good luck James and I hope this was helpful to you.

 

Hey, man, sounds like you are in a pretty tough situation. I know what it is like to deal with "crazy" people. My mother is Bipolar. And I am a pharmacist, so I know how debilitating schizophrenia is for those unlucky souls to be afflicted with it. I do not think I can give you advice, but I can say that you are in my thoughts and prayers for your situation.

Oh, also, I was on zoloft for a couple of months and I had the sexual dysfunction side effects also. It really sucked. I mean, I normally would masterbate or fuck once a day, and I couldn't do it for like 2 months. I finally had to go off the medication because I could not go that long without getting some. Just remember, never go off an SSRI (like zoloft) without doctor approval, because you can get withdrawal symptoms if you do not taper off of it properly.

 

Jesus, you're a saint