No one said that...no doubt you're a lovely person, dreadedsunflower, and I totally admire you for the obvious respect you have for your mother. If I ever end up having kids, I'd hope to be treated the same way by them as you appear to treat your mother. The point everyone's trying to raise, however, is that wild-flowers is in a different situation to you and therefore she's going to have a different motivation for the way she treats her parents.
that's just passive agressive, dude i don't think you're a horrid person, nor do i think you're completely wrong... respecting your parents is an admirable quality, especially as parents are, like everyone else, imperfect and bound to fuck up sometimes but i think peacelovemusic just hit the nail on the head, wild-flowers is no doubt living in a different situation to yours, so her way of doing things will be different too i meant you no disrespect, dreadedsunflower, i just was playing devil's advocate eace:
i believe in using common sense and to me she is in no way using common sense the only sense she is using is that she wants it her way and if its not her way she's not happy but in the real world life isn't about getting what you want its about doing what you have to do to get by hell i was in foster homes til i was 10 because my mom loved alcohol more than she loved me she has slapped me around and chased me with hammers and shit and even after she got me back she didn't notice i existed for years but she gave birth to me and has tried her hardest to fix things thats why i respect her and please don't post anything about oh im sorry your mom did that to you because I'm not sorry about it. its made me a stronger person. and made me see that things can fuck up horribly but they will get better eventually. but because of my history with my mom is why i don't understand why people can't respect their parents wishes if they are going to live with them
Mentally healthy adult humans require some amount of personal freedom. How you style your hair is quite well within that freedom. Those who allow an adult to live with them in a trade for basic adult freedoms/rights are downright tyrannical.
dreadedsunflower - i don't know how you can live with your mum after all that.. i certainly wouldn't (and don't) also, life can be about getting what you want as well as doing what you have to do to get by... at the end of the day, we are all free to do exactly as we please.. though all actions have repercussions
dreadedsunflower, it's very admirable that you have been able to use your past to mould yourself into being a better person. But how you as a person respond to certain situations does not determine how other people would respond to the same situation. Perhaps wild-flowers has been through a similar experience with her parents. However, whilst you still see your mother as deserving a high degree of respect, wild-flowers may not. On the other hand, wild-flowers' situatio may be completely different, but her opinion on the level of respect deserved by her parents will inevitably differ from yours, so it's probably best to just accept it and move on from this thread. Arguing does no one any good. Regardless, I admire your obvious strength and ability to forgive your mother. Very admirable indeed.
to be honest i dont find it that difficult, i work 30 hours a week, go to college in the morning work in the evenings and home work and etc... after work, it all kinda works out pretty well
I can live with my mom because she has tried to fix what she has done and i see that and living with her isn't nearly as hard as being on my own would be. and yes you can have what you want but honestly not all the time and just because law states you are an adult physically doesn't mean you are mentally. I try to act adult as possible but sometimes i can't so i see myself as being in the middle of young adult and full adult. and honestly its hard most of the time to get a job with any modification that isn't deemed normal. moving out is probably her best bet if she wants to be seen as a full adult but i hate to say it life is going to be a lot harder after moving away from home than hearing her parents criticize her hair and not agreeing with them on a lot of stuff. In real life boss' aren't always nice, landlords won't give you a break, and the utility companies don't care whats happening in your life. I really am interested tho in knowing what makes her so mad at her parents
prob cant handle that their kid finally has an opinion and a backbone, most parents dont like when their children find those things
life for me was a lot easier after i moved out of my mother's house. not harder. hopefully it will be for the OP too.
I know you are interested, but i'm not going to tell you my life story like you broadcast all of the personal details. That's how IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII respect MY PARENTS.
I really made this to shed a little light on how sometimes parents are annoying and its hard to get them to see your way on simple things like hair. I also wanted to know if you guys have to listen to this sort of thing at home or out in public as well. I probably should have made just one thread but I wasn't thinking about it.
I see exactly why she's mad at her parents. I'm a dependant of my parents, but them caring what my hair looks like sounds pretty crazy, to both me and them. They've always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted with my hair, after the age of about 14, just because having a little kid running around with neon punk rocker hair makes you look like a kind of bad parent, and that's what I wanted at the time. Basically, she's mad cause she's a grown ass woman, and her parents are not ONLY trying to micro manage her life to the point of her hair style, but also threatening to kick her out if she doesn't comply with those hairstyle demands.
http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/search.php?searchid=2097621 the search page containing the threads about issues you face with your parents not liking dreads
Fair enough, wild-flowers has made her point, admitted that she should have made one thread and provided a reason for why she did not do so. Both of you are in different situations and are different people with different outlooks, personalities, and opinions. Now can we please get back to the topic of the thread? I don't have dreads but some of my hair is blue and I have a love of piercings...unsurprisingly, my parents aren't in love with the idea that their fourteen-year-old daughter is, by their standards, a freak. But I'm lucky in that they're (fairly) liberal and (generally) trust my judgment on (most) things, so it's all good. Haven't had the guts to ask them if they'd mind me getting dreads yet though!