Honest Opinions/Advice Please

I have always been quite upfront with my partners. I am what I am. My desires are what they are and who better to communicate that with than someone with whom you have a close relationship.

I would tell her and if she couldn't accept it then re-evaluate the worth of such a "friend." Sure your relationship may change but everyone deserves to know the reality of their lover.

Told Brenda upfront that I liked guys. She was accepting of that part of me and we were together for a couple of decades. But, that is just my experience.

 

Thanks guys. I'm going to have dinner with her tomorrow, to "say goodbye" as she puts it. I think I'm going to tell her then. Better to tell her near the start of seeing her, or wait until the end in case she freaks out? lol;p

And please if anyone thinks telling her is a bad idea let me know.

It's just hard because I don't KNOW if I'm gay, but I do know I'm not straight, at least in the fact that I don't like having heterosexual sex with women.

 

well, then that's what you should tell her.

i already said, i don't think you're gay. jumping to this solution because you can't figure yourself out is just as wrong.

 

told her yesterday. i felt so good and done with our relationship before that, but after telling her i feel so fucking terrible. i'm so disgusted with myself, and i can't bear her thinking of me like that. i don't get turned on by her though. Sometimes I get a flicker of arousal just because she's so soft and smooth and pretty...but it never lasts and i never want to have sex with her. i don't like it when she gives me oral sex. and i do get turned on by the idea of a penis being put into me. and the idea of sucking a penis myself. even if i'm grossed out by the image of a guy as far as short hair/facial hair/body hair/everything else goes.

it's so fucking hard to accept, and i feel like shit, and i have no one i can talk to about this. even my ex-girlfriend, who was incredibly understanding and nice, i feel so disgusted with myself telling her anything.

she is also still very turned on by me. and i am still very used to touching and kissing and holding her. how is it possible to get past my disgust and her attraction and our combined habit of touching and kissing so much?

Please help. feels like my life is falling apart.

 

the best thing you can do is try and find a way to accept yourself. if you don't then you will live feeling like this forever. it's about opening up and stop expecting anything from yourself. just take yourself and your attractions for what they are -- natural human impulses. it's sounds obvious but there really isn't anything disgusting about this.
and not all guys are hairy=) guys are human beings and if you can look past your initial impulse to get away you'd see the beauty there. you just have to open yourself to it.

 

So I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably transsexual. It's a lot to take, and I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this, but it's a realization nonetheless.

Try doing LSD when you're a repressed transsexual. It's not pretty; ).

It took an eight month relationship where I never wanted to have normal sex, four psychedelic journeys, and a decent amount of therapy to get here.

 

Why do you have to have a label, why don't you just do what you want to do.

 

I don't need a label for the label's sake. I do, however, need to understand what I want. And the label I chose happens to fit that want precisely. So in attempting to convey to you what I've realized I am, I used a descriptor that could convey the self-realization that I've come to.

 

be yourself..

 

This.

I feel very fortunate, that I never felt obligated, or forced, to try and have intimate contact with someone in a way I dont want, and which doesnt feel natural to me. I know some people feel that they have to try, especially if it can make them ''normal'', I just always knew what I wanted in that respect, so made a decision in my early teens to never get intimately involved with anyone until I was at a place where it would physically feel comfortable and right for me to do so. I feel sorry for people who for one reason or another, feel they have no choice but to try out relationships that they know deep down are not right, or natural for them to be in. It must be a horrible situation to be in. Good luck with everything Sapphiric.