Hello, A few days ago I realized that, I don't feel Home when I'm home. My parents changed alot in the last years, going in different directions, doing things for their respective new found love and becoming persons that I feel isn't themselves, especially my father. Anyhow, when I look around me, at my bed, at my clothes, everything looks distant now, out of place. It even feels odd now to tell myself, "Hey, I'm home..." The only thing that I can call home, the place where I can curl up and cry, the place where I can go around naked and toss around whatever I want, hang up whatever poster I feel like, and invite whoever I can, is not a physical place. It's the music I compose and play. With a guitar in my hands, wherever I am, I feel Home. But then I'm no musician... I do compose and improvise 90% of the time I spend playing guitar, but I know people far better than me with more to give, and, I am much more talented in another domain which I hope will become my career or whatever. Well, I just wanted to ask, do any of you wonder? Home, where's that?
I hate when people tell me "home is where the heart is." What if you don't know where your heart is? I'm the kind of person who is not content staying in one place. I need to go. That being said, I've never felt more "at home" than I do when in the woods, walking along a creek with no hint of civilization around.
I've moved every year since I was 16. I had a bit of a rough home life as a kid, and I think that may be part of the reason why I find moving so tranquil. This year I'm in Houston teaching volunteers how to build houses. Next year I'm going to be in Sacramento leading crews of AmeriCorps traveling around the Northwest doing good. :biggrin: Things are always changing. Your house'll change, unless you want to crash with your rents until you're 30. But if it doesn't feel like home, go out and find something new for yourself. The world a scary place, but theres a lot more opportunity than danger in it.
I take that as meaning home is where your heart is. Find something you love to do, and people you enjoy being around, and you'll be at home. Folksy wisdom has it's place.
Have you ever heard the saying " I want to go home, but I haven't found it yet" I think this is one of those scenarios. You'll eventually find your home, somewhere where you feel confortable and connected to those and the things around you. Also! "i'm no musician" are you kidding me? Just because you're not on jimi hendrix's level yet doesn't mean you're not talented. Not everyone can pick up a guitar and play by ear and write their own stuff you're talented ma dear, stick to it. Smile! everything is going to be alright.
Yeah, I know. I'm not trying to say that its bullshit or anything. I'm just saying, I don't really know where my heart is. Sometimes I come across as a bitch when I don't mean to haha
Everything in life is a skill. This guy seems to have natural talent, but that still doesn't mean anything without perseverance. And he want's to go for it. Then go for it! You're an adult now, and the only thing holding you back is the voice inside your head which tells you to pick the safe route, that you aren't good enough. Fuck that guy.
Nah, you didn't sound like a bitch... I just like to hear myself type. :biggrin: God knows I didn't know what I wanted at 17.
it takes some people a long time to find their home. i know it did me. and who knows, i may outgrow this one and find a new home. i've never been one for staying in one place too long.
