I've long been hunting for some good acid, and recently came across it. My question is this...I read things like this: "However: be prepared for your world view to be permanently altered. After your first trip you will never be the same, there's no going back to ignorance. This is usually a positive thing though." I consider myself an intelligent person, and I have an interest in philosophy. I've always done well in my intellectual pursuits, whether that be school or other areas of interest. I'm currently in grad school. I've tried LSD (3 strong hits) once and mushrooms twice (2g then 3.5g) Now here's my problem: I really appreciate the different philosophies held by prominent figures in psychedelic history. I've read literature by McKenna, Watts, etc., and their writings really resonate with me. Just reading has led to an altered worldview. HOWEVER, I don't feel I've gotten anything particularly enlightening out of my three trips. First one- 2g with a couple friends, went to botanical gardens, got kicked out and wandered home alone, disoriented, lots of visuals, distortion; I would consider that trip to have been an entertaining and recreational experience. Second time- 3 hits of acid- did it inside, alone. Classic bad trip--horrible anxiety, feeling trapped, feeling too scared to go outside because I didn't want to get arrested looking insane, fear and anxiety that persisted for a week or so. Third time- 3.5g alone in the nearby state park at night. Right as I started coming up a group of six people showed up in my tripping spot, and I had to maneuver the pitch black trails alone. This I did with the intention of contemplating the current path I was on and whether it was what I really wanted. I got out of the trip that I wanted to change my path, but overall it was a confusing and nauseating experience, and I really knew that beforehand anyway- the mushrooms just made it very clear. After all this, I really don't feel "enlightened". Is this likely because all my trips occurred in bad settings/mindsets? I do have some serious issues with my life right now. Should I keep trying? Because I want to understand- I'm not looking for recreation in these trips, and I'm taking them very seriously. On a sidenote- what is an ideal environment for tripping alone? I've tried inside- felt trapped; tried outside; felt like couldn't let go because I had no one watching me/was somewhere people could show up. Lastly, I notice when I trip that a lot of sexual things come up, that are clearly a big part of my psyche. I can't tell if these are things about myself that I haven't accepted that I need to accept, or negative fetishes that I need to fight against. Does anyone else have lots of sexual things come up during their trip? haha lot of questions in there. please comment on whatever part you would like: ).
get the dark side of the moon album, and play it from the start to the finish.... or go into the nature, and you will trip good.
are they yours? or socially conditioned fears? thats somthing to clearify for yourself. i notice deep within my own mind that i harbor a sabateur archetype that likes to present me with stange thoughts and images, for no other reason it seems, than shock value or to test the grip on my own stability. it does this by invoking imagery that speaks to the antagonistic elements of that which i ordinarily identify with. idk...its part of the duality trip i guess. im not a fan of supression, and so my strategy has always been to s
I concur completely. Just let the shit arise and watch it go by, revisit later if you feel the need. The trick is not let your emotional self get entwined with whatever thought or vision presents itself as disturbing. Easier said than done, I know. I came to the same thought a while back when on shrooms. I totally understood where the persona of "The Accuser" (Satan) derived from as I was assailed by a non stop barrage of all my failures and short comings and sins. Not a bad trip, but not a very pleasant one either, educational is about the best spin I could put on it. I will say that I have no desire to spend another evening with "The Accuser" anytime soon. Mushrooms seem to evoke "The Accuser" more than any other substance I've had. To the OP, don't overthink it or worry to much over it. Relax and float downstream, this is not dying, it is being.
Most trips are in fact recreation. Some people find god on acid, some people think they're god on acid, some people get bored. Most people just see colors and groove to the music. Mileage may vary.
i'd say go out in nature if your doing it alone, bring a backpack filled with water,food,good music etc be prepared to think to your self ALOT, try to pick a sunny day to do it and try go into the most natural forest/park that hasn't been touched by man... you will love it!
