Me and my friend were debating this a few days ago, but we were unable to find the answer. I'm gay and she's lesbian and we noticed both men and women in general tend to be more interested in us and to make more efforts to please us when we don't reciprocate. We are both not really into one-night-stands and way more into a monogamous relationship (even though we don't desperately need one), and have quite a hard time finding someone we feel chemistry with, since it's much more about character rather than looks. However, it seems the very few whose interest we reciprocated were the ones who ended up jumping off the boat, and it's not even as if we were needy or clingy, honestly. All the other guys and gals kept coming after us for a long time and some still do. WTF??? Do people enjoy being dismissed?! Does it all really come down to the hunting after all? Still, the million dollar question is: should one reciprocate or not show too much interest? I'm much more into reciprocity when I'm into a guy - I like balance and to give as much as I am given - but acting nonchalant seems to be more effective... :banghead: And there's still another doubt: when does indifference start to be too much and therefore counterproductive? What do you all think? I'd highly appreciate your opinions!!
i really don't think there's a universal formula; it all depends on the person. the majority definitely prefer it when you pretend not to like them, but i know i personally find it to be quite a turn on when a woman bluntly tells me she's interested. and yes, even with the head game lovers out there, there reaches a point where you can be too indifferent, but i suspect that point lies in a different spot for everyone.
Good post..... For awhile I enjoyed the the thrill of the chase, there is something primal about it that gets my blood boiling when a woman counters my advances, although with the last girl I chased like this I noticed that it got to a point where I started almost sacrificing my beliefs and outlooks on life and pretty much just conceded to her when in my heart and mind I know that I was actually right ..... Now I think i'd rather just have blatant interest shown and establish a good relationship and forego the hard to get chase that can be a bit more exciting. That's not to say that I think a girl necessarily has to sleep with me the first night we go out either, just if we are going out I think it should be with the intent that it's going to go somewhere or if not establish from the outset what you want from our relationship.
I'm really not into these games, but damn, if a guy's got to be ignored a bit to feel interested he's gonna get what he wished for. The thing is: how can one know when indifference is too much? I have no idea when to keep/stop playing, and thus might end up showing too little or too much indifference. Where the hell is Goldilocks when you need her?! That's deep shit... So the last girl has shown you too much indifference but you still enjoyed it for a while, till it became more of a turn off rather than a turn on, right? And even if you now like women to be a little more obvious, doesn't it still require a little bit of it to keep you really interested? I don't think this indifference stuff even works on a conscious level. People are probably just into challenges and thus more attracted to those they have to prey for. Maybe they don't even realize this. Is it just me or do relationships really feel kinda like a minefield?
I would love to reply to this post thoroughly but due to certain *cough cough* reasons *cough* I will not. To answer your question a bit indirectly, for me on any conscious level it does not require a little indifference to keep me interested.
Don't over think it. If you do, then you will screw it up. I think playing hard to get is fine, there's just one rule: - Make sure they actually don't believe you hate them. I've sort of done that.
I think I'm gonna start playing damn hard to get. Gonna turn myself into a cocky nonchallant little prick when I'm into some guy! :grinch:
