"Single" pregnant mum, wanting another man!!! Honest opinions pleeeease!

ok, where to start??

Hi, i'm new here, and need help.

This is going to sound mental and it's prob in the wrong place... but i need some REAL opinions of this situation.

Well, I have two kids and am 5months pregnant.
I recently left my husband of 8 years due to controlling issues and because my love for him had died. We still talk on a daily basis and he still loves me, but I've been honest with him and told him how i feel. It's hard for us both. But I don't want him thinking it's all going to work out, when I know it isn't.
We'd both like the family to get back together... but I can't see my affection for him returning. So in a way, we're seeing how it goes, but I feel I'm doing this more for his sake and not my own.

Anyway, to add to this problem. I have met this guy
I will not by any means be pursuing a long term relationship with him and nor will i be letting him into my childrens lives... nobody except me knows about him.
I find him extremely desireable. I mean, I can't stop thinking about sleeping with him and he's sending me the exact same signals back. We both know what we want to do, but keep hesitating.

I'm scared I guess.
I've only ever been with one man - my husband.
And my husband still loves me.
I've never cheated on my husband, and though we are seperated now... it feels like I would be, even though I keep telling myself I'm single and just want this other man.

Also, I am pregnant and keep thinking how skanky it is that I am like this and wanting another man. I even thought "What kind of guy is this to want to sleep with a pregnant woman?" ... but hey, we both can't keep away from each other and he's fullfilling some desire/feeling that I can't get rid of!

So there, i got it out. It's been chewing me up inside for a while now.
I don't care if someone finds this repulsive and says so... i would preffer the truth! I feel I need some honest advice, so please don't hold back!

xx

 

If you are getting out of a eight year relationship, I do not feel it is a smart idea to "re-bound" with someone at the moment. Also, the grass is always greener, have you really tried working at making your marriage work?

 

I don't know how your relationship used to be, so I'm not able to give some great advice, but is there really absolutely no way of relighting the love of your marriage? Have you guys tried counseling?

 

We tried salvaging our marriage for the last two years.
It hasn't changed anything but the way I feel now because I can see there has been no progress with us. This ultimately led to my decision to leave.
I'm not sure exactly what a "rebound" means. I always think of that term as someone looking for love again with the first guy who shows up.
I'm not looking for love. I guess just intimacy that I don't have to commit too... that may sound shallow, but I gave everything to my husband for so long, that I don't feel I can accomodate another man with an emotional relationship right now.

Funny you said that, he was studying to be a counsellor at one point! Then the counsellors that we went to tore him apart. I didn't actually agree with them though. I know that I played my part in our end aswell and didn't feel he was 100% to blame, it takes two.
if I could love him again and make things the way they were, i would in a second. It's hard being like this in this position. But, even without the security and financial support, I feel happier now than I have in years. Like I turned back the clock 5 years!

xx J

 

Only you can decide if you marriage can be saved, and you seemed convinced it can't, therefore, stop worrying about that aspect of it.

You want to go get laid, DO IT.

It would likely be better if you avoided any emotional connections for the first bit. Use this opportunity to explore your options and see what else is out there.

As for feeling like a skank because you are horny... I've never met a pregnant woman who didn't go through a horniness stage and besides, why are you worrying about what other people may think?

Isn't it your life?

 

lol. Thanks, I keep forgetting that. I'm so used to doing what others expect of me that I forget myself! This is the first time for so long that I AM living my own life... I have to keep that in mind

xx

 

this was the only thing about it that seemed a bit odd to me.

i figure either he's a pregnant fetishist, which would really be perfect for you if you're just looking for a quick lay anyway, or else he's kind of desperate and you'll probably have a stalker once you try to break it off.

 

yeah, there are a few things bothering me about it really... I def don't want a stalker and I don't want someone changing their mind and wanting a relationship... mmm... all in all, maybe this is not the best idea!... i dont know. honestly, I do just want to get laid though.

I think I'll have to just go with this and see what happens.

xx

 

If you want to get laid, get laid. Just put down some ground rules first.

As much as your family is important and to an extent your ex, and as important it is not to jump into things- there's always that what if if you didn't. He may be the guy of your dreams, if you're smitten then you really know and you should pursue it regardless.

 

Think about it well, make sure it is not something you will regret terribly later on.

 

getting marriage advice on the internet is not that bright of an idea maam

 

I don't know if I agree. I mean I get that the people on here don't know either party. But as long as she gives us enough to go off of, at least people on the internet will be pretty honest. she doesn't have to worry about what we will think of her or that word may get back to him. It is annonamous. It is a way to share her side of things and organize her thoughts, feelings, etc.

 

Wow, a lot of concepts you've expressed there are totally foreign to me

To me its just sex, never really got what the big dealio was with some people.

I think you may be the exact opposite of what I am, thus can offer zero advice

Do you really want to go to your grave only having been with one person? I dont understand that at all

 

With anonymity comes objectivity also.

 

I'm not asking for marriage advice... my marriage is over.
But thanks for the tip

I always thought that that was what I'd be happy with... and maybe if Love had lasted in my marriage, then I would have. But over the last two years, I've been having sex with someone that was controlling even what happened in the bedroom and as love diminished, so did excitement.
I'm actually enjoying being on my own now and doing things how I like to do them... and this guy has put no pressure on me whatso ever and that makes him even more hot to me!!! SO, in answer to that question:

No, I don't want to go to my grave with only having been with one person... I just want sex and I want to enjoy it!

xx