"If you dun dun dun, you're not my friend"

i don't do friendship.

 

if you lie about the size of your penis, you are not my friend


if you brag about money and never buy the drinks you are not my friend

if you are a pedophile you are not my friend



that's it.

 

isn't that something in it self..

it's not like saying "if your blond your not my friend" ....besides you have to have all of the previous attributes on my list to not be my friend

 

If you're a picky eater...NOT MY FRIEND.

 

If you can make a list of a few foibles of human nature then you're a dick...

 

If you're an overeater... Not my friend.

 

Adult picky eaters are a peeve of mine, but one of my best friends is one. I just don't have her over for dinner.

 

Yes, my relationship with a friend of mine is very difficult because he's a picky eater, mixed in with this avarice for food that he does like (which turns my stomach)...AND, the fact that his standard idea of spending time with me is eating together and talking (not a combination I enjoy).

As a result, he's one of those friends I talk a lot to electronically, but rarely hang out with. I've always felt talking over beverages, tea or coffee or whiskey, or something...was both, more practical and sanitary.

But I also prefer doing something active to talking. Especially, linear how-have-you-been conversations...which, slay me.

 

Wow, it is like I am reading a menu of all my best personality flaws.

I rock!

 

hahaha just as long as you don't dis my tim hortons coffee love

 

1) If when asked what sort of music you're into you respond "Everything except country" ,you're not my friend.
2) If you drive around in a shitty prius blasting nickelback songs, you're not my friend.
3) If you have a highschool mentality and brag about your generic abercrombie and fitch t-shirt you bought online with your much music credit card, you're not my friend.
4) That said, if you run around telling people "hugs not drugs",you're not my friend.
5) If you spend more then 15 minutes getting ready before you leave your house, you're not my friend.
6) If you get pissed when anyone has an opinon differing from yours because you're some sort of bigot pseudo-intellectual who beleives his way is the only way, you're not my friend ...and you can go fuck yourself

 

aw shucks

 

Hmmm


1) If you are closed minded you are not my friend
2) If you talk crap about others but still pretend to be their friend you are not my friend

3) make excuses to do things, but when you wanna do something, you expect to do it...you are not my friend

4) Not being clear on things..you are not my friend

5) video game geek-- you are not my friend
6) not funny...not my friend
7) pointing out flaws in people...you are not my friend
8) if you are a slut,, you are not my friend
9) if you are a man whore...you are not my friend
10) lazy? not my friend
11) if you are insecure..you are not my friend

 

1. If you can't take the blame or responsibility for your own actions, you are not my friend.

2. If you truely, honestly believe you are better than everyone else for whatever reason, you are not my friend.

3. If the only form of pleasure you get from life is to beat down on and degrade others, you are not my friend.

4. If you are an absolute and total fucking pig and refuse to clean up after yourself, you are not my friend.

5. If you are constantly competing with the world while the world isn't competing with you, it's extremely annoying, and you are not my friend.

6. If you are my twin sister, dad or are similar to any of these two people in any way, you are not my friend.

 

hahahahaha ^ that sounds like my sister,

and

If you are so ignorant to the point where everyone cant stand to be around you...you are not my friend

If you are insecure and pass judgement on others you are not my friend

If you are a brat..you are not my friend

If you think arguing is the only way to communicate..you are not my friend

If you cant take a joke..you are not my friend

 

If you play fantasy football...I don't think I would like you much

 

If you refer to everyone who is and everything that is in a crappier situation that we or in a greater state of disrepair than our belongings as 'ghetto', you are not my friend.

If you say anything rude about my mom, you are not my friend.

If you're spoiled as fuck and constantly talk about all the shit you have i.e. you're brand new car mommy and daddy bought you and you're nothing but a boastful piece of shit who doesn't even know the value of a dollar and you continue to talk about it even when I tell you that I truely, honestly don't give a flying fuck, you are not my friend.

 

Bahahahahaha!!! RIGHT the fuck on dude!

 

If you are an untrustworthy liar or cheater...you are not my friend.
If you don't have any compassion...you are not my friend.
If you can't give me the same respect I give you...you are not my friend.
If you can't deal with sarcasm...you are not my friend.
If you talk shit about anyone, especially the ones I care about...you are not my friend.

 

lol yeah that pisses me off so bad. like yeah i'm happy for you and all, and a little jealous because dog shit is wealthier than my family and i'll never have anything like that happen to me, but if i wanted to hear you tell me over and over i'd ask. i don't wanna hear it because honestly, everytime someone does this to me and everytime i hear them say it a little piece of the part of me that likes that person dies, and so does the little hope i have left for humanity.