I've been dating my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half now. I love him more than anything and I'm certainly attracted to him. But it's so hard as a bisexual to choose. He's totally not open to any other women with me or with me and him. Honestly I find women and men completely equally attractive, but they're so different, you know? It actually makes me have commitment issues because I don't want to be dedicated to one sex. Anyone else have this, or a similar problem?
Hmmm... To be honest with you, whilst I definitely understand where you're coming from, I don't think the problem lies in your bisexuality...I think it lies in the committment issue itself. You're dedicating yourself to one PERSON, and along with that one gender, one race, one personality, one body, one soul, one set of in-laws, etc. If you love him as much as you say you do, he should be the only thing that matters. It's NEVER going to be possible to have it all, no matter who you're with, and if he isn't open to the concept of other women entering into your relationship then that's that. True love is two bodies and one soul, right? Well, you're never going to be able to achieve that fully and wholly until you let go of this. If you can't let go of it, then maybe you should let go of your relationship for his sake. At the end of the day, if you're not satisfied with him and only him, there's something amiss. Maybe it's simply a case of you wanting it all - almost everyone has that feeling at least once in their lives. You're trying to choose between having him and having it all - in other words, between something attainable and something completely unattainable. Doesn't that speak for itself? Good luck. eace:
Just because it isn't attainable with her current boyfriend doesn't mean it isn't possible. I would say that her problem stems from the fact that the relationship dynamic she is in at the moment isn't the one she wants. If your boyfriend isn't open to discussing what you feel your needs are, then you are faced with a choice of accepting that you will forever have to block part of who you are (or cheat on him), or ending your current relationship and looking for a new one that matches what you want.
I agree about the fear of being alone being part of it, but not the jealousy part. There are many people who are commited to another while not being exclusive or jealous.
I agree with Chronic. There are plenty of people in satisfying relationships that are open or flexible. My aunt, for instance, has a husband and a girlfriend and they all live happily together. But in the end, your boyfriend might want things a little more "traditional" so you have to decide if you'll be able to commit yourself to that.
Obviously this guy isn't attractive enough, and I don't mean that in a boner sort of way. When you find the right person you exclusivity will stick with them and this problem will cease to exist.
I don't think that's necessarily the case for everyone. Some people just aren't satisfied with one person, sexually or otherwise. Who's to say there isn't more than one right person for some people?
Haha, yes I definitely have commitment issues... and my ex-girlfriend (who also has a boyfriend) keeps sending me emails and letters about how she wants to get back together, it's just so hard to say no, y'know? But I've been good and haven't done anything bad ^^. This is the longest and most serious relationship I've ever been in. I'm gonna do my best, and if I can't handle, I guess I'm just not meant for one person . Thanks for the advice guys ^^.
