Free Love

Discussion in 'U.K.' started by Paul, Nov 11, 2004.

  1. Paul

    Paul Cheap and Cheerful

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    Yeah. let's talk about that old hippy excuse for shagging everything and anything. :)

    So what do you think of lots of uncommitted sexual experience?

    Do you think that you'd have difficulty accepting a partner's past if you knew they'd slept around before they were with you?

    Would you ever want to share a partner with another person or would jealousy get in the way or would the whole idea just be too perverse for you?

    I'm not talking about dishonesty in a relationship here, doing shit behind someone's back is a different thing altogether to openly experimenting.
     
  2. moominmamma

    moominmamma Member

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    No, I don't think I'd have a problem with that....when you're as old as I am you have to accept that everyone will have had some kind of sexual past history......in fact you'd be kind of worried if they hadn't:)

    It's not perverse, I just don't think it works. Sooner or later two of the three are going to get closer and the other person will feel excluded, it's not in my opinion a recipe for long term happiness.
     
  3. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Yeah, group sex would fuck things up, I think. No pun intended. :)

    I am a Scorpio - I would be entirely too jealous to share. There is nothing sacred left in the relationship, it seems. Maybe I'm old fashioned!

    Now, watching group sex on a porno *together*... that's a different story, I think...
     
  4. DoktorAtomik

    DoktorAtomik Closed For Business

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    It's like fast food. Some people find it satisfying. I prefer to eat gourmet ;)

    Nope. The past's the past. If you're bothered about that kinda thing, you should become a christian and marry a virgin. And you'd best be a virgin yourself, or else you're a hypoctite.

    I dunno if 'perverse' is a word I'd choose. However, I think relationships are about developing intimacy and trust. I don't think partner-sharing helps in that regard. I also think human emotions are far too complex to allow for this kind of relationship to work. I've seen it fail time and time and time again.

    If you want to have sex with lots of people, stay single.
     
  5. TreeHouse

    TreeHouse Member

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    Not neccessarily, loads of people have open relationships.
     
  6. DoktorAtomik

    DoktorAtomik Closed For Business

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    Yes, and they always end well, don't they?
     
  7. Paul

    Paul Cheap and Cheerful

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    People only usually have open relationships when they are so jaded they need to add an extra buzz to spice things up. Most of the time people who want to screw around tend to stay single as it's more convenient.

    Swinging within a relationship is a bit different to that, then its a fetish ~ but if that does appeal to you, then you still have to either:

    (A)Not give a shit about your partner, so that seeing them with someone else doesn't bother you (in which case its hardly a relationship anyway).

    or

    (B)Be so completely secure in your relationship that you know without a shadow of a doubt that the games you play will never go any further than just games. (if thats the case then you still need to question why are you doing it)

    Most relationships are somewhere between the 2 so its a risk that's usually best left as fantasy.

    Now I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with any of that ... but you really do need to be honest about your feelings and insecurities before you start playing with fire.
     
  8. Zonk

    Zonk Banned

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    Personally I try to get it were I can.....I have a fear of impotency and a worry of the UK sperm count falling!:p

    Catchphrase....'hop on!!':X
     
  9. soulrebel51

    soulrebel51 i's a folkie.

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    Yeah. let's talk about that old hippy excuse for shagging everything and anything.
    It's my reason for being alive :D.... :rolleyes:

    So what do you think of lots of uncommitted sexual experience?
    I think it'd be pretty fucking fun, but I don't think I would ever do it... Yeah right, who the fuck am I kidding :D
    Do you think that you'd have difficulty accepting a partner's past if you knew they'd slept around before they were with you?
    Nope. Pretty pointless to whine about the past, and if you like the person a lot that type of thing wouldn't bother you anyway.
    Would you ever want to share a partner with another person or would jealousy get in the way or would the whole idea just be too perverse for you?
    Jealousy would probably get in the way...if I felt "in love" with the girl, I wouldn't want to sleep with anyone else and I'd want her to do the same.
     
  10. Paul

    Paul Cheap and Cheerful

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    Otherwise known as "any port in a storm" eh?
     
  11. Zonk

    Zonk Banned

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    It'd be rude not too....:p
     
  12. Paul

    Paul Cheap and Cheerful

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    What I should have said is that I wouldn't be sure about sharing my partner
    (unless she was female and I too could join in and she didn't get humpy with me afterwards :p)

    ... but I'd always happily share someone elses ;)
     
  13. newo

    newo Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Back in the 60s the only STDs we had to worry about were gonhorrea, syphillis and the crabs, all curable. Now there's AIDs, herpes, chlamydia, etc, so free love is risky.


    Back then we said Make love, not war. Now it's Make war, not love, it's safer!
     
  14. TreeHouse

    TreeHouse Member

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    Not if you use condoms. Also the rapid rise in STDs including aids came after the contraceptive pill was introduced in 1963 when most people stopped using condoms and started using just the pill. The spread of aids was also made worse by the Republic of Irelands' banning of the sale of condoms until a few years ago. It is unprotected sex which is the most dangerous even with very few sexual partners as many people have caught aids of other STDs after having sex with just one person.
     
  15. newo

    newo Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Condoms offer some protection but herpes can still be transmitted while using a condom, especially if the infected partner is having an outbreak. Same with genital warts.
     
  16. SunshineLily

    SunshineLily Member

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    So what do you think of lots of uncommitted sexual experiences?
    Personally I think that if all of the people involved are alright with it, and if you make sure that you keep safe and protected from STDs, then it's not a problem. It is a perfectly natural animal urge to have sexual experiences, usually with more than one person too.

    Do you think that you'd have difficulty accepting a partner's past if you knew they'd slept around before they were with you?
    Certainly not. Again, it'd be nice to know that they weren't disease ridden, but other than that the past is the past. In fact, a little life experience is usually an asset.

    Would you ever want to share a partner with another person or would jealousy get in the way or would the whole idea just be too perverse for you?
    At the moment one of my partners is seeing somebody else and actively going out and meeting girls. I'm absolutely fine with it, and jealousy usually isn't in the way at all. There was a stage however, when she was obsessed with my ex girlfriend. If she had kept it kind of quiet and just let me know about it, but not gone on about it, i wouldn't have had a problem.
    I think as far as sharing partners and having more than one girlfriend/boyfriend, there always has to be top-communication. If secrets are kept, then it can start to hurt people and become more of a 'cheating' scenario.
    The key is to not rub it into each others faces - that way you're not asking for jealousy. Just get on with it and know and accept that your girlfriend is with other people, and you're allowed to as well.

    The guy in my life at the moment has had a lot of 'one night stands' before and no proper relationships. I've had no problem with his past, it's quite interesting hearing about some of the hot girls he's slept with whilst travelling!
    Him and I aren't going out, and as i said i've got a girl in my life. I'm getting the feeling that soonly Anne and I will end this 'seeing each other' malarky and I will direct my attention mainly on the guy.
    It is fantastic how it is now. There are no set restrictions in any direction, and yet no emotional problems such as mistrust, guilt, anger, jealousy. We are all just happy with how things are.

    What I have learnt though in the past month or so is that emotions can 'tie you down' just as much as saying that you're going out with somebody can. The difference on my part though is that i'm much more comfortable with emotions doing this and not being told i'm going with with somebody and have committed to them. It is just so nice to feel like you care about somebody so much that even though you are single, you don't actually want to have any other sexual partners.

    I haven't actually done much physically with either of the people i have goings on with though... And that is the same in a few of my relationships - a lot of the time we don't get to the stage where we are ready to have sex. I dunno, it's nice though...
    I was thinking about it, and the new description for free love really is usually being called a 'slag' or whatever. But that would imply you're getting into everybody's pants. I think some people just want love. Some people just need that closeness - may be even just a kiss and a warm hug.

    Man, i really do have too much to say on this subject, sorry!
    Love,
    Sunny
    xxx
     
  17. island dweller

    island dweller I Love Wind

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    That was beautiful, brought a tear to my eye...:&


    It is true tho, in nature nearly every species except for a few have many different partners. I agree that some people (including myself) just want companionship from many different people and maybe sex with just a select couple but the option to practice "free love" should never be taken away by those who believe the opposite.

    thats not of course ruling out monogomy eventually, with the one person who you can share a mutal connection with and can be your life partner. However if u are comfortable in your love for each other then why not invite other people to have sex with? if you both know you love eachother and nothing can change it then having sex with other people - even group sex - will be enjoyable for both of you and will at least stop sex becoming boring like for many couples it does...
     
  18. Claire

    Claire Senior Member

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    Hmm i keep changing my mind about this one...


    On the one hand being in love and sharing youself just with one person is so beautiful...

    On the other hand there are a lot of sexeh people out there... and as my dear old gran (god rest her soul) said: "If I'd have known I'd have got old so quick, I wouldn't have said no so many times":p

    I guess just go with flow and hope for the best?

    Love Clairexxx
     
  19. DoktorAtomik

    DoktorAtomik Closed For Business

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    .... said the Dolphin before hitting the propeller ;)
     
  20. Claire

    Claire Senior Member

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    depends if you're a dolphin or a horny shark maybe:p
     
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