Disensitizing lubricants (lidocaine)

What are your thoughts on this?

I keep on finding articles advising to "never use desensitizing lubricants cuz pain is your body's way of telling you you're doing something wrong". But hey, anal always hurts a bit, at least to some people. I'm extremely tight and no matter how slowly I do it and how much lube I use, it always hurts a little bit

1. Wouldn't desensitizing lubricants (never given them a try, btw) be the way to avoid this pain (and to tell my body to shut the fuck up )?

2. Isn't it possible that by keeping us from feeling pain the desensitizing lubricants are actually allowing us to relax more and, therefore, preventing us from really "doing something wrong"?

 

Honestly I agree with the never use desensitizing lubricants advocates. If it hurts it is usually a technique issue or a series of technique issues. I seriously recommend Tristan Taorminos book "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women." Also check out www.puckerup.com which is Tristan Taormino's website. She is a fantastic, intelligent and beautiful woman who graduated from Welsley I believe who is an Anal Sex expert (Both Top and Bottom). She has said that if you get the reciever warmed up enough and relaxed enough you can just about stick a coffee table up their ass with no discomfort or damage.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

:smilielol5: That was a funny one! But I'm guessing Mother Nature has probably given her a wide backdoor, which is not my case! lol I got a big bubble house with a small cat flap. Or should I say mouse flap? So I don't know if it does all come down to relaxation.

I've seen her movie. I've also been wondering if I always rush into it. For how long did you folks have to practice only with fingers and sextoys before actually allowing a dick in without any pain at all? Some people talk about a month, but the longest I've ever practiced was about a week, I think.

And has any of you ever tried a desensitizing lubricant? How was it like? And would you recommend it?

 

I never tried the desensitizing lube. But here is a link to another thread that addresses pain during and after anal:
http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=394251&f=281
I contributed to that one as well. Now not to brag and I don't recommend this to beginners but I can fuck my fiancees ass with no lube. The important thing that I've found is honestly at least 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay. Rimming alot is a great first step. Slowly adding fingers. Again not bragging my fiancee has a normal sized hole and I can work up to four of my fingers and the tip of my thumb up her ass comfortably using Olive Oil as a lube. Another tip is while being penetrated push out like you are going to the bathroom this will expand your sphincter. Penetration should take 3 to 5 minutes to get all the way in. Remember you are in charge tell him when it starts to get uncomfortable and have him stop exactly where he is not pull out until you are used to him. Then he can continue to penetrate.

Honestly I can say that I've taken past girlfriends anal virginitys on first dates. Granted it took about 9 hours of various types of fooling around to do so. I was also young and took the time to read up on how to do it. I honestly believe that most wome who have bad experiences with anal it is because the man doesn't know or doesn't care about what he is doing. I also had experiences where I was a total clod and didn't know what I was doing.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

The thing is that desensitizing lubes are not intended to make things easier by avoiding painful penetration, but to help the man avoid premature ejaculation.

 

Not necessarily pine man, anal eze is a product specifically for desensitizing the anus for anal sex.

I think anal eze is not a good product. The problem with it is if you don't feel that pain your boy friend may see you are comfortable and decide to be more aggressive, which can cause damage to your butt.

Pain is mother natures way of telling you SLOW THINGS DOWN! If anal is painful for you no matter what you try then by all means, discontinue until you are ready. You may need to hold off on the penetration for a while until you learn to relax your anus.

When your man warms you up, what does he do specifically?

Does he rim your ass? Rimming is probably the #1 way to relax the anus. We have had a few ladies come on here with the same problem, and when their man tossed their salad before entering the back door there was no pain or a large reduction in pain. Tongue is the key to the back door.

Secondly I would recommend you get a butt plug. A good premium silicone pthalate free plug will go in your ass and slowly dilate your second sphincter on the inside. It's the secondary sphincter not the first one on the outside that causes pain, because the secondary sphincter is an involuntary muscle.

That is the muscle you need to get relaxed, a rim job and a butt plug would do that perfectly. If you are really tight I'd suggest going with a beginner plug like the tantus little flirt and then work your way up to the big flirt. When you can handle the big flirt with no problem you may be able to start working with his member.

Another tip is that when you are about to inside a hard object like a finger, toy, or penis up your anus, remember to push pack with your sphincter like you are trying to pass gas. This sounds contradictory to putting something in, but this voluntary action dilates the primary sphincter and allows for much smoother penetration so when the head goes in it's as smooth as silk.

I hope this helps. It hurts me to know there is a nice bubbly butt in pain out there. I am a huge admirer of the female posterior so I never want to know that it's in pain through anal sex. The only thing a women should feel when something goes up her ass is pleasure.

 

Thanks, Triple Ace!

I always start with one finger and then work my way up, but I probably work my way up way too fast (I never spend much time on each step, to be honest).

Btw, I was not specifically talking about Anal Eze. That one is actually not a lubricant but a desensitizing cream, I think. I wouldn't want that: I want a lubricant that lubes me up but that also numbs my ass just a little. Maybe Adam&Eve Anal EZ or Lubrifist. I'm not sure which one would be better

 

We have used anal eze before but found we don't need it.

If we take our time and I let her get used to the fact her ass has a cock in it then we have no problems. I can actualy feel when her ass relaxes.

She will be super tight and wants me to move very slow, then when it relaxes I have been able to fuck her super hard and she just loves it with no pain once.

We also found that she can take a toy the same size as me easier than me putting my dick in. She can relax easier because she has total control. We leave it in during foreplay and vaginal sex then pull it out and in I go with no problems at all.

Be patient and have lots of fun!

 

Thanks bikimaholic.
I've a bought a desensitizing lubricant (Lubrifist), and it did the job, but I decided not to use it anymore. I decided I'd rather learn how to relax first with a normal lubricant, otherwise I will not be feeling pain only because I'm numb back there and not because I'm ready for it.

Been using KY every day for a week and I'm finally seeing (feeling, actually) improvement! I'm now able to relax more than I've ever been! arty: I just gotta keep practicing

 

i've used the stuff. it doesnt completely stop the pain, but it makes it much more barable; and yes it does allow you to relax more which in turn causes less pain

 

The gf likes lidocaine on/in her anuse before I fuck it. However, she prefers if I apply some Astroglide get between lidocaine lube and thick cock. . .

 

i have written about this before in another thread here; i'm not going to repeat the whole thing again. here is the condensed version.

i worked almost 5 years in a hospital emergency room.
we saw a good number of people, who fucked up their assholes and dicks super big time, due to using desensitizing lubes.
doctors have been reporting these injuries for decades to the FDA demanding this shit be taken off the market.
due to the political football that is the FDA charter, and all kinds of legal games industry lawers play, this dangerous shit is still on the market.
"let the consumer beware!" :cheers2: is still the best advice there is when, it comes to matters of this sort.

 

But why? Was it because due to the numbing effect people would take anal intercourse too far or are the properties of these lubes harmful to our health?

 

A friend of mine in college left a box of desensitizing condoms in the bathroom, and my girlfriend and I tried them out of curiosity. I put one on and then put another one on inside out for "her pleasure." The numbing stuff is supposedly only on the inside.

That incident is now known as the "motorcycle crash sex" because it feels like you're paralysed from the waist down. It was miserable. No pleasure. Makes your skin chaffed and its really hard to cum, so you end up with blue balls.

Don't try it!

 

have you ever bitten your lip really badly after the dentist numbed up a tooth?

Pain is there to tell you that something is damaging. A little bit of pain is fine, but if it hurts badly, you should stop, which doesn't happen with desensitizing creams.

The local anaesthetic als o reduces blood flow to the tissue which increases chances of tearing.

 

Exactly! :cheers2:

Topical anesthesia should NOT I repeat NOT be used for anal sex. You can cause real serious damage if you don't relax.

 

if you want the graphic details, i can tell you... they are quite nasty and scary! :svengo:

major re-construcive bowel surgery... VERY, VERY, VERY BIG TIME BAD NEWS!
it is possible, for a penis to cause a major tear in the anal wall, leading to massive blood lost and death. it does not happen most of the time. it does happen fairly often thought. most of the time people don't die from it... a lot of them, most likely wished they did die thought.
major blood loss is a major emergency.
medical staff, will drop whatever they were doing, to do whatever is necessary to save the life!
if the damage to the colon so extensive, that the bleeding cannot be stopped, or if colon tissue has died... in come the major re-constructive bowel surgery.
the damage part of the colon is removed. a plastic like tubing is used, to replace the lost section of colon. in some cases, the anus is sealed shut for the life of the individual, and, colon is re-routed and the person will have to shit into a plastic bag for the rest of their lives.
no more anal sex for them for the rest of their lives... they no longer have an asshole.
that is the worst thing that can happen to the ass fuckee.


the ass-fucker, can suffer just as horrible a fate, as the ass-fuckee!
it is possible to break a hard penis just like bones can be broken.
a broken penis is treated pertty much the same way as a broken bone.
it one very, very, long and painfull road of recovery.
no sex for anywhere from two (2) months. that's the best case! in the worst case; might never be able to have sex again for life!
if the penis tissue is damaged too extenstively or, if bleeding cannot be stopped; only one course of action remains... amputation (cut it off!)


how do do people wined up in these types of situations?
the the first thing is a tie between, being on alcohol/drugs. in other words, their thinking and bodly sensations were impaired do to the drugs.
tied with that was; using something as a sexual lube that is not safe to use. (hand lotion, motor oil, soap, etc.)
the number two cause for these injuries... desenitizing products, such as "anal eze."


ok, now that i have grossed out, and scared the hell out of everyone, let me just say this...
anal sex CAN be fun, pleasurible and, safe.
just think things through before you act and, use some common sense too! :cheers2:
everyone play safe and have fun! arty:

 

Thanks blackcat.

You know, I've recently found out that when we finally learn how to relax anal sex is much more comfortable with normal lubricant than with desensitizing lubricants.

Now that I'm able to do it, I feel a little bit of pain with the desensitizing one (it doesn't have lidocaine nor any other substance ending in "caine", though) and none at all with the regular one (KY).

 

get some anal ease, I have a gay friend who said it worked great for him his first few times.

 

Ahahahaha. You should read the post 2 above yours (unless this is sarcasm)