I could really use your advice

I'll never have a functioning relationship. I've noticed a pattern, i'll find an attractive person, we'll hit it off; generally we'll share some interests films,music and the same unadultured impulsiveness. I'll show some affection, we'll have sex.Ultimately we'll decide to make a commitment to each other. As soon as this person shows a reasonable amount of attatchment. Like telling me "As soon as I saw you I was attracted to you" and how much they want to make me happy. I'll feel warm and appreciated for a moment then instaneously want to end it. Even tho they're normally witty and sarcastic banter humours me, their longing and feelings scare me.I feel suffocated.

So i've been trying hard to resolve this, I don't want to be the problem, I want to be 'the solution.Even as I write this I feel like I should be sporting doc martens and a fringe. It seems like a replica of runaway bride starring julia roberts, only i'm without the off white wedding attire and simply walking away in indifference afterwards in torn to shit jeans.

When i'm with them, it's like i'm not. I'm somewhere else, or atleast i'd rather be. I don't allow myself to have meaningful relationships anymore. If we rewind, I had a terrible bout of unrequited love it, I cared so much, he just wanted to nail me. He at one point loved me, I didn't give him enough then I thought i'd never be good enough because he was perfect. Then I fell for him later when he moved away. We'd visit, i'd see him, everytime he would leave i'd miss him more. Eventually I decided to avoid him, it doesn't hurt as much.

Now i'm in a relationship. A spontaneous one, but my logic is i'll have alot of time to get to know this person. So far...we share the same interests. Now i'm asking for your help to ensure that it doesn't resolve the same way, me walking away. And him scratching his head with what went wrong.

I just don't want this one to be shit, i'm willing to try....any advice?

 

be blunt and honest...tell him you're terrified of the idea of commitment, but that you want to try to work on that. who knows, maybe he'll be able to share some advice with you. even if THIS relationship doesn't work out, odds are that, if these guys are equally impulsive, some guy will eventually be able to relate to you.

hope it works out for the best!

 

my advice is stay in school..get a good job and then worry about relationships after that.

 

yes dad

 

Hahahaha!!!! Seriously though if you have been hurt in the past it is dificult to commit to something you see as ending the same way. Be couragious, wait and see where it goes and funnily enough Bbad does have a point, you've got your whole life in front of you, maybe steering clear of a relationship even on a superficial level is the way forward right now. The choice is yours.

 

So you ask for people's advice, they give you their opinion, and you cop attitude?

Aren't you possibly pregnant, thinking of going homeless, and about the get kicked out of your parents house?

My advice is get your life together. Stop seeking attention on the internet. Stop doing self-destructive things; there are REAL people in your REAL life that are willing to help if you are willign to accept it. Accept the fact that you are 19 and that some advice, even if its parental, might be good advice.

 

And that's not copping attitude?
I'm not pregnant, I took a test. And had my period.
It's a survival study, I might do it in the bush
My parents aren't going to kick me out, we have arguements its normal.

You're one of those douche bags online with a supiority complex. I'm not seeking attention on the internet. I ask for real advice and ive been getting some. There are some things i'd rather not talk to my friends and family about.

 

If you have to try it's not meant to be. You wont need advice from us when you find yourself someone you're truly smitten with

 

Nice edit job. You are awesome.

Anyway, I think I've been called a douchebag twice today. Not a bad record.

I'd tell you the same thing to your face.

 

not being so defensive certainly wouldn't hurt either...perhaps that's the root of the problem, who knows.

 

Just close your eyes and enjoy the fact that someone wants to be with you.

 

you're 19 years old man, i wouldnt say anything with a certainty just yet.

 

Wildflowers,,,,,,,,
well here we are again. Now you are asking peoples opinions, then calling them names when they respond. That is exactly what I'm talkin about, your to immature to be playing grown up. I have a god grand child age 6 with more sense and MANNERS! I'm glad your not pregnate, I'm glad your folks arent gonna kick ya out. I would be happy seeing your posts if ya werent bein such a brat.
If you have to ask about relationship advice,, maybe you need more time to find you, before you hurt or be hurt by another. My grand mother has been gone for 29 yr's, but she gave me this advice when I was growing up.....
" do not do or say anything you would not say or do to all your neighbors, friends, family" So, ya come here cuz ya dont want to talk to the people in your life? PLEASE,,,,,,,,
go see a professional. Count your blessings, I'm startin to see the poor lil rich girl cryin wolf here. Rich as in you have family that cares for you, a lover who cares for someone not mature enough to handle a real relationship. The smartest thing you can do is talk to the people who are actually in your life. Oh, and posting on a parental page,,, come on,,, you havent lived enough to give any one advice on children. You might not believe this, but you are still a child yourself. Do you like your self? What do you see your self doing in 10 yr's from now? Do you have a job? Do you have any college education yet? What do you really want right now in your life that you dont have? Do you meditate? Do you have any desire to learn about natural healing? Do you participate in social activism in your community? Do you like style, art, do ya play an instrument? What do you bring to the table in a relationship? What is wrong with your life that you would put it out here amongst strangers? Are you really who you say you are? I'm wondering just what is up with you.

 

oh yeah, in response to what ya wrote here to begin with,"he was perfect"
as women we have low self esteem issues,,,,, honey love your self,,, improve your self,,, that way you will be confident enough to know what you are doing. Dont make another partner pay for others past treatment. When I am with people and I cannot actually be there and present in the conversation, mind wandering, ect. I shouldnt be there. It aint top secret. Good luck.

 

You need to forgive those things that happened in the past - the things you did, and the things they did.
You are holding onto the hurt and sabotaging all relationships so it doesn't happen again.

And it wouldn't hurt if you learned to love yourself a little more.

 

Why buy the cow if he gets the milk for free? There's where u go wrong.

 

do you want a spanking?...

 

magical poo poo love advice for a 19 year old lol. your dad, or bbad was right. get your shit straight first. you don't need to be worrying about relationships right now.

 

I used to be the same way.

the truth is that once you find the right person then you will reciprocate their feelings and wont be so compelled to drive them away.