no idea what to call this one, but its for everyone here...

I really rarely post on this forum anymore and i should, so i've compossed this peice for you all, i was thinking about it earlier when i was out walking...and it's just something i felt i had to write...




A quiet hand in a rush of wind,
Dark allies and sacred skin.
In back street paths, at night.
Where freshly cut grass fills the air
and the sweeping moon lit clouds
Stand holy in the sky.


A light touch full of brushing brillience,
In dark places and forbidden moments.
Under moon dazed hillsides
She kissed my cheek
Whispered soft words
and into the night went.

 

sweet perfection, i think this is a perfect depiction of a midnight romance. It's so sensious and tentative, so carefully put, so delicate which can only servive to reflect the moment which you write about. I feel every thing, i feel apart of such an intimate moment. It's truely beautiful.


My favourite lines definatly,

"the sweeping moon lit clouds
Stand holy in the sky."


Thats just the most gorgeous description i have heard for the clouds at night and so true!

 

i was there with you

 

First stanza for me was pretty weak compared to the last. It's just too obvious, too many stale descriptors.
But this...
[Under moon dazed hillsides
She kissed my cheek
Whispered soft words
and into the night went.]

As an ending it works wonders for the poem as a whole.
By the way, it seems you've been saying "I really rarely post on this forum anymore" everytime you do post around here. Hmm well ok.

 

thanks for your comments

but whats the last bit supposed to mean?

its true that i used to post here regularly, but i was a little *too* honest for my own good, something that was resolved

 

What it supposed to mean is....alright, 'we' get it, you don't post here much. That's all. Just wondered why you felt the need to constantly remind everyone that you no longer post here "regularly", I mean, does it really matter? The way you say it, sounds to me like you're just too good for this forum and that's why you "rarely post".

Sorry if this sounds kinda harsh, but it's been kinda bothering me every time I read one of your replies/post around here.

*steps off the soap box*

 

sorry kittenx...

 

No worries.

 

and then we all thank the forum...

 

...and the night never swallowed so great a morsel, engendered as it was unto the Rosy Dawn.

eMBeMLaHV!

 

:H I feel it, and thats just groovy.:H