Before I got married and had children I was very independent. I had been on my own basicly since I was 18. Now that I am staying at home with my kids and not working, I feel guilty for spending money on myself. And believe me it was not a problem before. Even when I get like birthday money, I have a habbit of spending it on the kids or hubby, or something for the house, any thing but myself. I know one of the problems is I consider it my husbands money, because he works for it. He tells all the time everything is ours. My question is how long till I get use to this? It's eather that or live with it for another 3 and a half years (when my unborn will be in preschool) when I go back to work, or college. Has anyone else had this problem? I really don't like feeling this way. It makes me feel kind of weak, and that is something I haven't been in a long time.
If he had a cleaning lady, it would cost him $20-$30 per hour. The taxi to take the kids here there and everywhere is something like $40.00 an hour. The cook to make his dinner every night and the other meals you make for the kids is about $25.00 an hour. Then add all the other things you do during the course of a day. Believe me, you earn the right to spend "his" money. Don't think twice about it. I go through this sometimes though and I work 40 hours a week. I still feel like I am spending "his" money when I earn almost half of it. Kathi
I've been a stay at home mom for 14 years now and never once did I think of his earnings as HIS money. He does his part by going to work and I do mine by taking care of the house and kids. He hands me the paycheck and I deposit it, pay the bills, grocery shop etc. Screw guilt, mrs eads, you ARE doing a job and not an easy one at that.
So true; no-one could AFFORD to pay us moms for the work we do at home. Mrs_eads you should try buying yourself something fabulous every couple of weeks,nothing extravagant, some amazing chocolates,bath salts, skin cream, whatever; it works for me. Maybe think of it as YOUR bonus for all that you do?
I totally agree. Every few weeks I treat myself to something for me. Normally it's going out to have my hair cut. I do this every 6-7 weeks. Once in a blue moon I will buy myself some make up or a shirt. These things keep me feeling a lil' more alive. I was just talking to my husband about this thread. He told me if this is how I feel I can go get a job if that will make me feel better. I told him I don't want to feel better. lol. We were only joking. I've talked to him about feeling like you are before. He tells me the same thing. It's our money.
I've been a SAHM for 5 years and I still feel the same way at times, but I've gotten a lot better. I still spend any extra money I get on my kids though, not out of guilt, but because I just enjoy it. I'd rather do for them than myself. Besides, you ARE working. People pay others to watch their children when they work outside of the home, so what's the difference? It's still a job, and you should consider the money your husband makes as money you make as well. Hugs...
I guess i'm lucky, lol, cause we don't have the extra money to spend anyway, so i can't feel guilty about it It can't be "his" if there's nothing there, lmao But seriously, sometimes the subject does sorta come up, like when we fight or something, and i tell him he can leave, but he says "i don't think so, i paid for this house, so you're leaving" and then it's on, haha. "Fine honey, then you can keep the kids too, and pay someone to watch them while you work, cause staying at home all these years has really put a gap in my resume, and you know how great i am with people!" Then he lets it go, lol.
I guess you start to not be that way when you realize that you really want something that you think is worth the money for yourself. You have to treat yourself sometimes because you deserve it. But sometimes treating yourself doesnt always make that feeling go away so I don't know...
