Am i going crazy ?

Im 17 years old and i smoke big amounts of weed everyday In my house alone. I do not have any friends, You could say im a "Lonley stoner" ? . 2 months ago ive started going abit...strange. Ive been having conversations with myself on the phone to know one, Just like having some massive deep and meaningful with no one, and like at the end of it all im like wtf am i doing ? Am i going crazy ? But i continue to have conversations with no one on the phone and then relise again, after it, That what im doing is weird..But i continue to do it everyday. Wtf is wrong with me?? Is this abnormal ? I also talk to myself in the mirror. I also have social anxiety disorder which i went to hospital for, idk if this has anything to do with it. I also use to take alot of drugs besides weeds a while ago. I also so not leave the house because im fat and i dont want anyone to see me like this, I have been in the house for 2 months now without stepping out.

 

how do u get weed when you havent stepped out of your house for two months? like you super stocked up?

my advice is, you know how you actually do the act of talkin to yourself and then switch perspectives and say you don't know why? you should really sort out why you do, come to terms with what's up with you and the things you should do.
I once saw a quote that said "Happiness is when what you want, what you say, and what you do are all synchronized."

You should really go outside. it's pretty damn crucial, dude. forget about what other people think of you, because that kind of thinking is not useful in any way. It's really important you go outside because the longer you don't, the worse of a hole you're going to dig yourself into

 

Y=take care of self X= live.
Y=feels like shit p=slowly dying..
If you dont get out and X=live U will D+I+E for REAL!

 

I have Social Anxiety Disorder too, it's not that easy.

 

can you still take care of your self?.
when your self begins to take on multi-personalities from drug abuse you might need to have some company or professional interventions..

 

everyone "talks to themselves" i think it's usually just in their head. talking to yourself on the phone does sound a little strange. maybe you should stop smoking weed for awhile.
GO OUTSIDE. go for a walk alone.

 

I talk to everything..

and I huff solar neutrino from just a dial tone..

 

Sane people think they are going crazy - only crazy people think they are sane...

So thats always a good sign.

Trust me on this - have a good break from smoking, your feel so much better..


Find a hobbie.

 

i do stuff like that too which i why i kept doing it...only once people started to interfere with my high's did i start to lose it.

 

I talk to myself. I talk to a lot of random objects too.

Talking to yourself on the phone sounds like you just deep down want someone to talk to in person. Like you have a lot of issues and you would like to share them with someone. It would make you feel better. Talking to yourself on the phone is one way to let out any thoughts that could be bothering you.

Don't get worried about it.

Maybe lay off the weed a bit.

 

Rule of thumb: Being cognitively aware enough to say and ask yourself "Am I losing my mind?!" typically means you are not losing your mind.

 

Your not going crazy, just don't let anyone know you talk to yourself or they might classify you as crazy. But your not crazy. Talking to yourself is thinking out loud.

 

i used to be the same way. i would reccomend finding something that you care about, and putting your energy into it. for me it was writing. when u see yourself create something beautiful like that, you can find worth in yourself, you can see how happy you can truly be. so find your own happiness, and fuck everyone else.

 

:grouphug:

 

I hope you do the right thing. Good luck to you man!

 

Dude, im a skinny version of you. Go outsie, look in th grass and follow the ants, its f*cking mind blowing. Totally healthy too, well my dad did it when he was younger lol. Take up juggling or something, that's if you have access to a yard? If you have a yard make FULL use of it this summer and try to stay off the comp, looking at the sky then answering your questions through research is pretty fullfilling. You'll see your way through just set goals and don't worry about being accepted, most people are sheep anyway and just forget about other peoples opinions. There is a fucking lot out there, it's just unfortunate growing up the way we did... well for me I didn't have much structure nor expeirence cause my family didn't really have the wealth to put me out there doing things like camp n shit. Usually I have one good buddy who has somewhat the same understandings about our world is like and he will come chill like once or twice a week sometimes ill go out but im like a fkin hermet crab. Just aim to go out a few times for now, however it's only been two months for you it may take a little longer. It's been about a year now for me, and it was just 2 weeks ago I thougth i was going insane... always making sure i didn't smell burnt toast and what not. Ive also found myself upon "conspiracies" however ive aquired a thirst for knowledge in better understand our societ and pretty much anything to do with everything. Weed is okay, some studies show heavy users actually have a better chance of quitting weed then the regular user, althogh you may not be a heavy user. It doesnt even matter the ammount really just as long as your not smoking an amount that will do physicall harm to your lungz and sinus. It won't kill you, and don't kill youself cause that really will fuck up everyones life attatched to you. We are still young man and we can still make a change at least in our community. Ill be going into my grade 12 year doing grade 10/11. Im going to take as many courses I can because all you need is Math11/12 and english 12 to grad and get into college so pretty much anyhting else you need to learn to just chill in the classroom and pay attention and contribute to discussions, teachers are also real people too and they have been teaching their stuff for quite some time now so you can trust they have it pretty much figured out, thats not the case with all teachers thought so just look out for the good ones. And ur not fat, ur big boned. Lol. in the mean time watch some southpark or some shit, you'll come to your senses.

 

lol look at the text, unfocus your eyes for like 5 minutes straight and write down the things you see.

 

I see rabbit people. Coming over the hills, to attack my fingers on this keyboard.

 

You're not crazy but you're not healthy.

Start working out today. Stop jacking off today. Build up some man chemicals in yourself and some kind of confidence will come.

Fat won't get rid of itself. Neither will social anxiety. But guess what? The hardest part is starting the process. Get some weights and lift those at home. Do some cardio (treadmill/running/swimming. This is the hardest for someone who has some extra poundage but it also burns the most fat). Get out of your house on a walk every day and walk into some random store and chat up the person working the cash. Stupid shit like the weather, or how their workday is, it doesn't matter.

You aren't trying to have deep, meaningful, human conversations with the people you meet outside. You're trying to adjust to being able to talk to them on a whim. People rarely talk about meaningful things with strangers and unless someone is obviously (OBVIOUSLY, not just apparently in your head) preoccupied or angry then they will not mind taking a second to agree about the weather or tell you what time it is. People don't bite and you're not wasting their time by talking to them.

Do this for a week and you'll feel better. Remember, starting is the hardest part. Once you get into the swing of it it'll just be another thing. Make a goal for your personal development this summer. Nothing concrete like "lose x pounds" or "make x friends", but something along the lines of living every day consciously and not just giving in to the temptation to sit and smoke and eat and distract yourself from the downward slope your life is on. Being a fat shut-in stoner is not a healthy lifestyle for body, mind or soul. If you want to be sane you've got to live sanely. From your OP it sounds like you recognize this and the only thing that's left is to get fucking started.

Good luck my friend.

 

If you expect you're going crazy, you aren't.