The Greys of Preying on Vulnerable Woman

My therapist brought up that the woman I have pursued have been generally been emotional vulnerable. Which put my on the defensive, I mean it's not like I'm a predator that assaults frail women with my craziness. But I'll give a few of their bios in a poor light then ask my question:

L.K. father died at 12 in front of her, heart attack, mother died at 15 cancer in the hospital. She enjoys walking the scumy part of the city with us (college kids) mixing with the homeless. She smokes alot of weed and had during are time together (5 months) maybe a hit every two week (or equivalent in another hallucinogen) She was major depressed at times, we joked once we were describing what type of crazy person we would be. I'd be the active one burning building home invasions and the like and she'd be that real quiet type sitting still for days lost in her dream. Sometimes she'd stop responding, but too many details.

Sasha the quiet type of girl who sits down at a party waiting for someone to talk to her. I met while going after one of her friends and we hit it off. Very shy and meek and kind.

Erin was very into BDSM, which is grounds for fragility but she would cry if I didn't cuddle her and some night I'd have calm her down she'd be close to inconsolable. She broke up with me because I showed some of my emotion.

L.B. nothing I could say could do her justice but she was raised on a farm in a very hippie way. She has good people skills but has a strangeness from her isolated childhood that she hides from the normals. With me she can be how she likes and that was the magic.

So all the women defiantly were repressed or unable to interact with others well. I always kept a close eye on people's interactions so I can manage okay enough.

I won't waste your times with smaller roles. But I think I'm a vulnerable man and that's why I go after vulnerable women. I don't always play off their insecurities, maybe in some ways I do but I can't manipulate someone to do something that they somewhere inside them they don't want to do. L.K. would always say I was twisting her words but that fact she remained in the conversation meant she wanted to talk.

I just don't think I am capable of taking advantage of someone, I'm too broken myself.
All these girls I liked and care for with my full feelings.

 

Sininabin, your therapist said: The women you've pursued have been emotionally vulnerable. You said: I'm not a predator who assaults frail women with my craziness.

Did the therapist ever specifically accuse you or suggest that you're in any way predatory toward emotionally fragile women? Or did you just assume his remark was an accusation?

 

I assumed when she (my therapist) commented that the women in my history were all emotionally fragile, it was assumed that my preference was for the emotionally vulnerable which I myself know isn't true but I can't help wondering if that might be part of what starts the spark in me for them. As you can see that response is wishy-washy because I don't really know myself. I really only comes up because I have meet someone who is vulnerable and I'm worried about trying to start a relationship, I mean I know I want it to be for the better of both of us. But I am on mood stabilizer, recently been expelled, and can get a little co-dependent. She's younger than me so I want her to be happy and my dating history stirs a worry in me. I doubt I have the patients to not try to push the envelope, a mean after some time has past.

she never accused me, but i thought it was "food for thought" for me.

 

That's it, I think - food for thought. I don't think you should second-guess yourself too much. The fact that there is this pattern is just a clue that there might be something you're trying to find/fulfill in yourself with this kind of relationship. What might that be? Pay attention to learn more about yourself. What are the things you like about the person/relationship? What do you dislike - or fear? Are there patterns of behavior you keep repeating? If so, what do those patterns say about you - your motivations, insecurities, emotional needs - and strengths?

Also - "stirs a worry in me" - a worry about what?

I'm attracted to quirky women, especially ones who are strong-willed, beautiful ice queens. Yeah, pretty weird, I know - but so am I.