"I came to the fork in the road and went straight' Time to make a life decision..

I know exactly how you feel, Im finally experiencing life without probation and drug testing for the first time in like 5 years. And I been smoking for the most part of it, but its that fuckin thought in the back of my head as i hit the blunt thats "damn, i gotta go see my P.O. next week.." that really fucked with me.

Now I get to smoke a blunt finally not having to worry about shit, it makes the high so much better. Life without mandatory drug tests, which is why I ended up doin 6 months in jail the first place for failin 1, is incredible.

anyways.

Shit, Im having a crazy fuckin day gods. Im goin through some shit, like some defining moment in my life. I might stop doing drugs completely, I might use my savings and go live a monestaryand ascetic life somewhere in the wudang mountains in china, i dont even wanna think about ending it all, I still got much to learn and accomplish.

Back on topic, let me track what I took... 200mg tramadol, 30mg temazepam, 45mg oxycodone, 25mg dph, 3micrograms melatonin tablets to enhance my melatonin magik, and i think another 50mg of tramadol. and of course some weed, about 3-5g of some midgrade buds, rather nice for the good p.r. I got the oz for.

I hope Im not becoming detached from my life, and fear that I have to choose my path (and in the process defy the laws of life/dentiny/fate and create my own destiny) pretty much now. But i realize my life would be meaningless if I turned my back on what I feel is my purpose in life and my life's passion at the same time. And that passion is my curiosity to understanding the most profound mysteries of the universe and the higher-dimensional realm of Forms/Ideas of which the great philospher Plato wrote about. If you wish to know what Im talking about, look up Plato's theory of Forms or Ideas.

Im kinda startin to nodd off,.. but i got a fewmore things to say.

I have references from chairs of mathematics departments that will say Im MIT material, and had my name published next to other university graduates from prestigious institutes around the world from spain to israel, So Im sure I have the talent and intellectual capabilities to I hope I make the right decision and follow my life's passion, prime number theory, astrophysics/cosmology, and superstring theories and the topology/shape of the universe itself.

So yeah, im nodding off so Im gonna take a few more tokes from the bong and just enjoy what might be my last time doin drugs for maybe even a few years.

Peace brothas, salam aleikum, and remember that ISLAM really stands for I Self Lord And Master, thats that godbody consiousness Five Percenters jewels of knowledge.

 

good luck man, i've been thinking the same thing obviously...
to be honest though, my mind's thought process is going "well, yoshi, how you gonna get outta this one? The answer to doing drugs must be location. I must move where drugs are more tolerable"

Then that makes me think "Wow, does my life really REALLY revolve around drugs?"

But, personally, I like the drug culture (the psychedelic community anyways) a lot. And I can't imagine not being apart of it...I've been in all the scenes, or at least gotten a taste of them, and I feel most comfortable when I surround myself with hippies.

Where will this life lead...

 

This society wants you to take them pills, oc and whatever else the fucking doctors feel like giving out.. So your like their fucking drones.. walking around listening to their direction , Take one every 6 to 8 hrs..

Fuck that...

I have over 3 dozen oCxcottins. 20mg.. I would love to flush them down the toilet right in front of the sickest drone... cause thats the reactions Im looking for...


theres this dumb **** of a junkie down the road.. fuck I dont even wanna walk on the same sidewalk as her.. She looks like a walking PUS SCAB.. uke: and men actually put their dicks in her..


Is this the fucking freedom soldiers are dying for...


rant over.. :leaving: for now..

 

much respect.. your blessed with a gift few realize they have, and its a beautiful thing to see. i may one day one leave this life, but i dont see it happing any time soon... I wasted enough of my life fighting it, and fuck maybe stress is the #1 killer, so im just gonna ride this wave for whats it worth, just as i will every other one,, eventually...

 

one of these days, ima see a doctor and when i tell them I go to the forest and pick fungi to feel better, and once they frown upon that and open their fucking yaps.. Im going to knock every single tooth out of their mouth!!!!

mark my words..

 

one of these days!!
i'm going to cut you into little pieces!

 

lol@319

 

orison, don't you take an occasional OC?

kilo, i gotta say, that's pretty dumb to smoke pot on parole from jail, when smoking pot on probation is what landed you there.
i've done some equally dumb things though.

good luck man. let me know what shape the universe is. some friends and i were just pondering that the other day.

 

Noooooo!! Don't do that :tongue: I can find a safe home for them haha.


To the OP.. good luckk!!!

 

That I have, very soon come to realize they are no fun recreationally ... There is a fine line with narcotics like that. If your dealing with pain/ even emotional pain for short term use. Its good. But recognizing when that medication is using you is the key to better controlling how you use them..
I may have come off a little harsh (i to was going through something) but with the amount of narcotics, psychedelics, bud I have its was better to be straight and let the emotional pain run its course.. I could have easlily taken some9snort0 pills, smoked more weed. But on this occasion I did not. Sure I got a high but this didnt help the matter none. There were no better outlets. My gf wanted to hug me- i said "no come here right now, I will hurt you". Since she knows my past - she listened. Not that i would hurt her physically.. its just easier to turn on a killing machine than it is to turn one off...
I tried to exercise, lift weight, run, pay with dog, clean my house, that of which I busted up, like (one of my turns)to no avail over 12hrs + I was a shit fit motherfucking mess that just hated all the world and lot of the people in it..(certainly not everyone-0)
Id rather not get into it to much right now, cause now im calm, I had a nice nap at work hehehe... im still tired though.. (this too shall pass..)

 

yeah thats total bs dude

where these doctors that like to give out OCs? you have any idea how regulated that shit is? people in REAL PAIN cant even get OCs a lot of the time. this whole idea that doctors throw around pills like they are candy is bull, it doesnt happen 99.9% of the time. unless your talking about quack doctors that sell scripts, but thats a whole different story

and society doesnt want opiate addicts either... last time i checked

and to the original poster... i understand completely what you are going through. once i reached the conclusion drugs control my life i stopped all of them. was clean for around a year. then back on the opiates, with weed here and there.

weed really lost its allure once i started doing opiates. but im not gonna argue weed + opiates are like heaven on earth

 

Beautiful man, monking life is really smart man, instead of worrying about hell you get to recieve a divine wish of some kind. Fuck dude. Smoking pot and pills is one way to go. Id keep the pot and lowers the pill intake. I dont know man, thats just me.

 

Ive a longer post reply but have some company atm.. I could be treated with Fibromyalgia medication but over 20 times with different specialists, I kept getting narcotics.. so finally i just excepted that as being what they feel is the best treatment. dope me up, it dont work for my pain.. but ive have other treatments for it that relieved it. I keep getting the narco no further questions asked..

 

I do know a few people, that i believe are in legit pain. but they cant get pain pills?? One lady I know was given Flexeral with the combination of the other drugs it (flexeral) could of killed her. If its wasnt for a brighter doctor noticing it...

many things control our lives.. if you own a dog or cat. It controls you, as much we want to believe that we control them.. Theres a middle thats meet with the owner and the pet., Just as a middle is meet with drug use.. Im not going to sit here and tell you Im not addicted to marijuana cause i am.
But there isnt any effect from it to where im going to die if I dont get it.. This could change if the marijuana is modified to a pill or something,, as the way that they modified opium..
Im not really sure of whats going when it comes to chemicals or synthetic opiates. We are only guessing whats happening. Theres no way it can be an exact science on every person.
Put yourself into an institutional setting, withdrawing from certain substances and recognizing behavioral patterns, symptoms, vitals signs will give yourself an idea of what your body is going though if your willing to listen to it..
I knocked down my nicotine also over this weekends maybe not such a good idea cause of the other unpredictable shit.. There was most definitely wd. might be the most difficult chemical to break habit of just like that..
imo opiates are easier to stop than nicotine ..

 

i smoked half a pack up to a pack a day for ~5 months and quit cold turkey and never had any craving for a cigarette? easiest thing i've ever quit, easier than weed for me. maybe 5 months isn't long enough to really get addicted, though. I dunno

 

my point is that in order for narcotic pain medication to be used as a control mechanism for the masses they are going to have to give it to.... the masses. doctors, generally, will give you the lowest power and lowest dose pain meds as possible.

controlling people with something that is only given to those in such pain they cant function anyway seems silly. i dont think people crippled by pain are the a very big threat to the government

if they really wanted to use pain meds as a control mechanism they wouldnt be so hard to get, is basically what im saying. dont you agree?