I have no idea what to do...

you're definitely not the only one. good luck with whatever course of action you choose.

 

there is name for women like her "crazy" and she's not even that high on the scale.

Her "crazy" seems to stem from youth and indecision and a "bake a cake and eat it too" attitude that unfortunate for you, the "cake", this ends with the desert burned.

if you had the mind of buddah I'd say you could be friends and separate yourself from your attractions but you don't and you can't and friendship with her until you actually and fully get over her forever will be painful. As you said she's leaving soon and you guys will go meet new people and who knows if you actually moved on and allowed yourself to change maybe you guys can hang out in a future when you're different

Personally I hate sparks you can make so many beautiful emotions but you can't make the sparks fly no matter how you try.

I've been dragged behind so many different chicks it took me so long to realize that they liked the power they had over me, took me awhile because they didn't even know they liked it.(most of them) I am still actually in tow but I'm a machinist with no options so I chew my rocks and wait for any other ship.

Good luck play it cool and soon enough you'll run into someone who'll make you forget her name, ahh that's always so liberating.

 

Okay, so there is no fucking way that I would ever take the time to read this entire thread. I read the first 5 or so posts. And all I can is... I laughed my fucking ass off. No offense to anyone. I cannot believe this thread has lasted this far. Of course, don't get me wrong- I didn't take the time to read it.
I guess that is all I can say. I'm drunk. That sounded genius to me. Sorry.

 

The only thing you missed out is: "I'm just trying to get over my ex, I still have feelings for him." If that is the case here, then I know somebody like that too.

I came to the conclusion that the person was playing me like a mug.
If you are asking difficult questions and she does not answer, she is avoiding the reality here.

You really need to go through all of this with her, using as many difficult questions in the process. First have a conversation with one of her other male "friends" and see what is going on with them both...
I think you will know exactly what to do after that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGOKuFyjk"]YouTube- When Harry Met Sally(Men&WomenCanNotBeFriends)-Part I

 

I know that, ive already told her that. I told her i would hate to see her going around with other guys if we were friends. her response was that i wouldnt see it... except i would still know its going ON which is just as bad...

That is what my whole problem is about... and why i wanted her to decide if she would rather be more than friends, or not talk at all... i dont see what the big deal is i guess she is just crazy cause i mean come on... if your going your you are best friends. She wants a best friend. She also wants a guy who isnt an asshole (me) but i guess she cant be with one guy??? i dont know if thats the case or if she just doesnt like her experiences in the past with all of her boy friends questioning her about who shes with and whats shes doing (thats what she told me she doesnt like)

i dont even believe in sparks. lol... emotion is what its all about... and what the hell are sparks. is that supposed to be a sexual thing or what.... lol.

i feel like in the future she will be worse than she is now...

 

yeah. i told her she should get over her x because no two people are the same and all the guys shes found since then didnt work out anyway... shes just being ignorant of the situation and her real problem....

i dont know any of her male friends .... she knows to many people. from out of school or different schools. most of them are older too...

 

You know what fine do your stupid idea get hurt worse. I think everyone around he is tired of hearing excuses. Either you stop being an idiot and get over her or you keep letting her drag you around like a dog on a leash. But I'm done giving advice, she probably doesn't like you because you're so clingy and you're so obsessed over her. She probably wants you to grow some balls instead of winning like a child.

 

thanks man!
except no... ive been waiting for the right time to do what ever which would be.. in about 2 days. she doesnt drag me around like a dog on a leash, but yeah i guess she kind of literally trys to even tho were not going out. expects me to follow her and go everywhere with her, when im with her but doesnt ever ask me to hang out or anything. but yeah i let her come up to me now.. and then dont pay that much attention to her.

and someone else already helped me, and has been helping me, so im probably going to try out what theyre saying first... idk maybe ill update you guys if something actually happens, if it does it should be soon.

and im really not clingy to her in person. I am because i really like her but it doesnt come off like that to her, at least i try not to... ive texted her alot and shit but thats only because im really bored and i also needed to get info about our graduation and stuff.

 

kids just don't know how to win graciously, always rubbing it in your face and whatnot...

probably doesn't come off like that to you, but she may well be a different story.

 

hahahah i think they meant whining...

idk... maybe... well see. thats why im about to stop talking to her. Over all its just been horrible timing all around. Her birthday and school comming to an end its kind of hard not to talk to her, but now its summer and ill never see her after my graduation party tomorrow unless she specifically calls me to hang out or something. (showing interest? which she hasnt really yet since she said she cant be in relationships..)

 

Perhaps she doesn't want to get over her ex quite just yet.

I wasn't talking about all her male friends, just a few.
Just enough to get a fair balance of opinions.

I think you might be right about her being ignorant to situation and real problem.

You sound like you are a lot more emotional mature than she is.

 

No, i mean... I really dont know any of her male friends. I know like ONE from our school and i dont think theyre very close. They just kinda know eachother..

She is most deffinatley ignorant. I mean... why wouldnt she want to get over her X? Im not sure how long its been but i think its been a while. Months at least. And its not like theyre ever going to get back together since shes already looking for guys to replace him... I just think its kinda weird that she wants a guy who was like her X...

I probably am more mature... Thats another thing i noticed... She seems kind of immature (not really immature, but less mature then she really seems to be) but does shit to make herself look more mature. Just the way she acts and does shit...

 

How does one find himself marrying a bi polar abusive ****. Abstain.

 

Rasta, the difficulties you are describing are not with your friend. The difficulty you are experiencing comes with the ideas you have about the situation.
Any time you experience anxiety it is because something in your inner dialogue is not true.What do you think you might be telling yourself that is not true?

 

.... hmmm...

I might be telling myself shes not a whore...
Or, that i can make it work if she would try.

Honestly. Thats all i can think of....

 

I would agree with you.
You tell yourself she's not a whore but that really is the way you feel about it. You know that she is promiscuous and she told you herself that she was concerned about her image.
The truth about her is that she is a human being who will display all manner characteristics in her lifetime, she is neither a whore nor a saint.

If you could make things work, they would be working. If it depends on her, it would be her making it work.
Further it is possible that you have no clear perception of what "making it work", looks like so this is a contributor to confusion. How can you preform a dance if you don't know the steps?

 

no its not how i feel about it, i kinda think she is but i like her and i mean... idk. i dont think its like something that she cant stop... I dont really think shes concerened about her image because like i said before after she said shes concerned or what ever she went out meeting more guys...

I think i could make things work but like you said, it would be HER making it work. Thats why im giving her the option to try.. like i said its her decision like shes the only one who can change her mind.

I could make it work but only if shes willing to also..

 

im in a somewhat similar situation man.

i dig girl, she doesnt know what she wants really with dudes. i open up and tell her how i feel and she leaves it like there could be something with us, but she doesn't give me a clear answer.

in these situations man, you just have to try and realize if you really like the girl or if you like the idea of the girl.

if she's running around with other dudes, she obviously doesn't feel for you the same way you feel for her...it sucks to realize that. trust me i've been there too many times for my own good. and if this is the case, maybe you should just let her go, because obviously youre looking for something better - something that she may have but isn't mature enough to offer you.

in my own experience, i look for girls that are on the same level as i am...if that means anything to you.

i think maybe you should sit her down and have a talk with her. brooding over your own thoughts does only so much good before it starts breaking you down.

and you shouldn't let her crush you like that, cause if she IS a whore...you don't want to be broken by one. you're a better catch than what she's fishin for

 

What I meant was, perhaps, not get back with her ex, but not totally abandon the feelings. I dunno if it ended badly, just fizzled out...or he dumped her. So can't really know why she may.

I dunno, though...this situation you have is scarely like the situation I was in...it seems a few of us have similar experiences. I'm still trying to figure it all out myself if I'm honest with myself.

I deffinitly agree with "the dope" ... some good thoughts there.

 

she met someone else.. told you she , you were her friend , that sucks for you , becuse you fell into the friend catagory, it sounds like she kinda used you for school work,oh and once you fall into the friend catoagory...not to many men can get out of it. and shes only answereing certain text becuse its none of your buissness who shes banging, and she is bagging other guys. just dont put up with her shit and walk away , tell her , your no longer her "go to friend" and be a man about and mean it.