A final journey: hazy recolections of a triumphant struggle of wills

I don't like salvia. Not going to be doing it again. Gave it another shot today, went back to the same place I went to last time and confronted the same 'entity'. This time I refused to go into the fabric and somehow managed to argue my way out. Or at least that's what seemed to happen. It's a very strange and unnerving experience, and I don't see any redeeming factors about it to make it seem worthwhile.

May as well get into the trip report.

I took a smaller hit than last time, and didn't hold it in as long. I'm actually glad I did because when I broke through to that absurd state of whatever that is salvialand I was still able to think cognitively, where as last time I was utterly confused and only submitted myself to the entities absurd machinations. Either do to my relative familiarity with the place or because of my more cautious dose coming out I was able to remember pretty lucidly a part of the experience I was unable to piece together after my first submersion.

Once again I was not exactly aware of the moment of the breakthrough, but before I knew it I was back in that perplexing and intimidating realm. Even now I can't describe the appearance of the place, but it seemed based on the reality of my physical surroundings with a ridiculous and ethereal twist. It seemed almost silly, though entirely frightening.

Once again I was met by a presence manifest in physical form. I can not describe this thing save that it was shorter than me and had a head that was the shape of a giant hamburger. Previously I had mistaken this as what I've heard people call the female spirit of salvia. Though this time it seemed more of a servant, or perhaps a separate manifestation of The Entities will.

In my previous encounter, I took this thing as a vastly powerful and condescendingly indifferent weaver of realities fabric. Though with my mind in more coherent condition, it seemed instead a silly gamester with no meaningful purpose. I recall feeling that there was no good reason that I should subject myself again to it's will, the becoming and unbecoming of seemingly random objects and places scattered through time and space. Before I became accumulated to my mad nonsensical surroundings this servant being took me and attempted (half-way successfully) to weave me into it's strange machinery of the fabric of perception. It started with my right arm and I can vividly recall the sensation of being unzipped and pressed into a two dimensionality form. Once again I noticed the image of the bus, and got the impression that I was being metaphysically sewn into the fabric of the seat. This same exact sensation I recollect at the beginning of my previous saliva trip, and the idea of loosing my willpower and sense of self once more was now entirely unacceptable to me. I also recall the familiar sensation of feeling duped, and refused to submit to it's whims again. I pulled myself from the strange fabric as I felt my face being pulled into it, once again starting from the right side. Reacting to my resistance, the servant being attempted to take me again, and convince me to enter it's absurd and inhuman process. I blatantly refused. I recall attempting to argue with this absurd gamester, this strange manipulator of consciousness and material and though I do not remember the words, I demanded that he let me object directly to the master of this realm... lady salvia herself.

I had the impression of somehow moving upwards and away from the bus that seemed to be the catalyst of this transformation, to a higher level where I met her again. Unlike last time when I crawled up and back into myself through a crease in the couch; this time I came up through the pattern of the trippy carpet under my feet. I remember the dumbstruck awe I felt looking back at the carpet and watching the realm close of as the bus seemed to go on without me. I suppose I was beginning the process of resurfacing to reality, because once again the female entity took the physical form of my friend and trip sitter (who was sitting right next to me). Once again I fell under the fallacy that she was in fact after all the master of this realm, and instead of arguing with her (as my will had already emerged unassimilated and triumphant) I instead pleaded with her to explain to me the nature of this strange realm and the purpose of its maddening goings-on. Her replies were evasive and condesending (at some point I believe halfway through my conversation with lady salvia I became actually speaking out loud to my trip sitter and hearing her replies even though my mind was not entirely back in reality.

I asked her where she got that carpet from wich I crawled out of the realm (as though I expected this whole experiance to be some added feature of the carpet) and asked if I could take it back to my home and play her odd game with others by tricking them into entering and running them through the process myself. Considering the fear I felt in this place, I suppose it would seem cruel to subject others to it... but my intention was to learn it's nature, and I figured if I could somehow be allowed to take a controlling hand on the other side of the table... I could see the forest for the trees as it were.

Anyway, slowly I realized where I was and that my friend had no idea as to the meaning of my words. For a few minutes afterward, I felt very wary of her as though she were after all the one who kept tricking me into entering this realm and using my consciousness in her device, all the while feigning ignorance in our day to day communications.

Eventually I came to my senses and I have made the decision to do no further exploring of the salvia world. I felt satisfied that I had reentered and managed through strength of will to resist it's ominous yet eerily silly pull. It was a victory for me and I took some level of pride in it.

I realize how mad this all sounds, and to read this you must think me absolutely out of my mind to even consider the possibility that any of this experience is based in anything other than my minds reaction to a powerful drug (though I do admit that this is more likely than the alternative) but after being subjected to that place and knowing myself... I can not imagine how my mind could create such a strange trip. It is entirely unlike me.

Even more unsettling is the absolute similarity of each of my trips to this place, though some only remembered in fragments. The place where I asserted my will in this trip was the exact same in all regards to the place I submitted in my last one... very unsettling thought.

Either way, salvia-land is not a place I have any interest in exploring any further. The book is closed on that one, make of it what you will.

 

No replies to this but the new posts page is consistantly cluttered with endless and uninteresting posts full of rediculas perverted questions from socially/developmentally stunted sexless narcisistic porn addicts.

Ha

 

what can we say? i completely agree with your decision. i just think that the only single reason why you came "triumphant" from this last trip was because of the lower dosage. i wouldn't be so "proud" of myself...

 

You may very well be right. As much as I think I got a good idea of what salvia is about (condescending deception and indifferent usury) I can't shut up this one part of me that keeps saying "maybe I just didn't go deep enough"

lol... what the fuck is wrong with me?

But seriously... I would love some feedback from experienced salvia users. What do you think of my interpretation? How were your experiences similar or different? And what am I to make of the part of me that is still curious in the face of the much greater portion of me that says "No, fuck that"?

 

I've used salvia a decent amount. I've only had one entity experience so far and it was of a horse like creature that seemed to be just part of that dimension , not running it, not controlling it in any manner and it looked at me but didn't interact at all. I have had some sort of like telepathy type experiences with some presence that seems controlling and dark in nature to a degree but not bad or negative.

Many people seem to have the unzipping phenomena I haven't had that either or interpretted it as such, I have had the 2d thing. I also have a feeling of being below or underneath this realm in a sense and I can make out various geometric lines. I agree with you it feels more like a place than some byproduct of my subconscious mind or desires.

If you do decide to return and are familiar with MDMA I recommend trying salvia once at the tail end of a roll. The euphoria of MDMA seems to counteract the weird salvia body high to an extent and adds a whole new element to the experience which easily places it alongside LSD and mushrooms for me in every sense.

 

I don't think I'm gonna return. Take into consideration that I am a pretty macho acting guy. I don't ever admit to being scared or out of my depth... but that experience terrified me and was too much for me. I'm fine now... and actually kind of grateful that I tried it.

It took me down a notch as a psychonaught. Because of this experience... I now know that there are substances out there that can take me to a level much further than I am comfortable going. I am not brazen enough to go Full Metal (H.S.)Thompson like I though I was in months passed. I'm glad that happened. Knowing that I can't just handel everything like a champ will save me from seriously fucking myself up later with a oversized tripping ego.

And I think me fuckin' around with Lady Salvia pissed off my sweet sweet Mary Jane. Went to see her yesterday and she did not greet me so warmly in a manner of speaking...

 

Ah yes our biggest pothead friend freshman year of college tried salvia that summer and smoked pot two more times, Got flashbacks and never smoked again to my knowledge. Kinda sad really, cause i enjoyed getting stoned with him. I have some macho tendencies as well but I'm pretty introverted also.

I know what you are talking about getting an ego too, its ironic that many of these chemicals that dissolve ego initially can give that effect.

 

That pics the shit man...

 

lol, best pic i've ever seen.

sam, i'm completely with you. the experience is way worse than i once believed any drug could put me in.

i had this macho attitude about drugs too. i never had used any hallucinogenics but i thought that any strong high would be nothing more than very strong marijuana or very strong alcohol, and i could easily bear it. poor me... i don't use salvia for almost two months, and i don't see why i'd want to ever use it again.

i never had uncomfortable MJ trips before salvia too. now they happen almost every day.

but in no way i regret having used it. at least i'm not curious anymore.

 

Apparently Mary Jane isn't too found of Lady Salvia.

 

Salvia is a mint... fuck that shit I'm quitting menthol cigarettes to-DAY!

Never gonna look at a York the same way again either...

 

perfect!

i was asking my friend what just happened too. but then i realized i was just sounding like an idiot, and I was the one who smoked MY salvia, so really he didn't know anything....UNLESS he was somehow the one behind it all.

i said right then that i'd never do it again, and i think i was gonna throw it away - which i did - only later to take it back out.
i only have one more dose (maybe a little bigger than the first one) so MAYBE i'll do it again someday. with a sitter for sure (didn't think that was necessary before, and it was a lucky chance that i had one this time) and maybe without music.

did you have music playing sam?


after i had come down enough to see my living room - i was still feeling weird especially in my legs - my friend youtubed salvia. it was a bunch of people laughing insanely, and falling around, but my friend decided that none of it was as crazy as what he just saw me do - but that was probably just because it was in person.

this is very similar to my experience

 

No music. No sound.

I remember when it put me through it's device it started with my left hand, forcing my arm up through it and then streaching my face and skull over, starting from the right side. Both times. When I camer out of it (both times) the right side of my face felt very strange... and I had the impression that every part of me did not come back at once.

I reccomend this to no one as a recreationial drug. Maybe some very educated shamanistic sort of person usuing it in a ritual sense, sure. But yeah.

 

i felt like i had to "dive in head first," that is the tips of my hands, my arms, and my head were the first things to be integrated into the table

 

I think the take here is verging on the hysterically superstitious.

 

Hahahaha... Salvia ain't no snake oil, that's for sure.

 

Our common experience is of a juncture of plant and animal, not independent "entities". I can see where we might find the life of a plant, a sedentary wholly fractal emergence to be unnerving to the self animated animal.

 

pot and salvia seem to operate on similar wavelengths. if your having problems smoking pot after your salvia trip don't worry. just smoke LOTS of pot for a while, and it will go away.

 

Indeed. I am well aware of this. And yet all things rational do not ease my confusion. Either way, in the grand scale of things it doesn't really matter, so I am not troubled.

 

Very good!