Share your limericks with the rest of us. I know I could use a smile!! I'll start There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. And he said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were a ****, I would fuck it." or There once was a man from kanass Who's nuts were made out of brass in stormy weather he'd clack them together and lightning shot out of his ass
How about this? There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini or There once was a man from East Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent To save her some trouble He folded it double And instead of coming...he went
Awwww - come on guys!! In the garden of Eden sat Adam, Massaging the bust of his madam, He chuckled with mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two boobs and he had 'em. or There once was a fellow O'Doole Who found little red spots on his tool His Doctor a cynic said Get out of me clinic, And wipe off that lipstick you fool!
There once was a young monk from Hong Kong, Who had a three-headed dong: A small one for sucking, A BIG one for fucking, And a third for playing the gong.
These three are from a contest on Long Island from several years back. The requirements were to use the words "Lewinsky" (Monica, the White House intern how did the Presidential knob) and "Kaczynski" (the infamous Unabomber) in a limerick. Here are the 3 winners: There once was a gal named Lewinsky Who played on a flute like Stravinsky 'Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef That stole the front page from Kaczynski. ======= Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski, Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dress And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky. ======= Lewinsky and Clinton have shown What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better Than a bomb in a letter Given the choice of how to be blown.
I was trying to find a good one I once read but couldn't. But found this instead: There was a young man of New York, Whose limericks never would rhyme. They didn't scan, Nor did they have enough lines. EDIT Also this: There once was a man of Calcutta, Who spoke with a terrible stutter. At breakfast he said, "Give me b-b-b-bread, And b-b-b-b-b-b-butter."
there once was a young man from china who wasn't a very good climber he slipped on a rock and broke his cock and now he has a vagina
