I honestly Dont know Whats up with this

It seems my parents have been getting nuttier in the past months. They'll yell at me for the stupidest reasons, put me down when I buy something out of my own luxury, ask me when Im moving out, threats to kick me out etc.

Im getting frustrated with both of them. Especially my dad. I came up to my mom today and told her that I had fun volunteering yesterday. Heres my dad in the background talking like to start an argument... "yeah do it more and get a job!" I took a breath. and continued on and then he starts in again. So i snapped back and said "ok parot" He always always has to put his 2cents into every single thing. So my mom then goes off on me.

I stay quiet. its whatever. 20minutes later I say "hey mom...can I look at my account to see how much money I have?" She says "ill just make you your own when I want to" Deep sigh. All I wanted to know is how much money I have.

Its stupid things like this that really aggravates me. When I wanna get somethng done, she makes me wait to get mad at her. I made a stupid stupid mistake of putting my car that I PAID for into my dads name. Now that I know I can afford it in my own name, they wont do it. They're putting up a fight for the stupid title. and my mom threatens to sale it for a dollar. Now my dad is kinda on my side on this and telling my mom to give me the title. She wont do it. IDK why but she wont do it. I start crying because shes yelling and screaming in my face. My dad calls me crazy, retarded etc (cause im crying)

I thought about going to a psychologist in all this again but I bet shes going to tell me what the other one told me. "Move away from them" "They dont know the right parenting techniques"

Im about to kick start my life and they have no clue what im doing (cause i dont wanna deal with them) All I want is that car in my name and ill be set. Im about to run, guys. Im so frustrated and stressed over living here. Im sick of crying and having that emptiness of no support and fearing to say something to them. Im not a yeller, fighter, I dont mess with anyone. Im a good kid. I dont get in trouble, I struggle to pay my car insur and my phone and they still give me shit. Its not good parenting at all. Im teary eyed typing this because it just freakin hurts. I dont know what to do..

 

Your story sounds similar to what my life was like at 20. My step-dad criticised me for everything and my mom was wishy washy when it came to supporting me. On the one hand trhey would tell all their friends how proud they are of me and on the other hand they would tell me I was immature and irresponsible. Not to mention that they had problems of their own that had nothing to do with me.

I think that 20 is a hard age. I dont say this to be patronizing either. I really think it is a hard age for everybody. You are not a kid and can make your own decisions but you are not fully independant and depend on your parents for some things. This puts all of you in a tough spot because they want to run your life and realize they cant. What you can do in the meantime is take little steps towards independance without having to move out. Living on your own can be harder then expected so try to deal with your situation as best as you can without picking up and leaving just yet (can you imagine how much they'd bitch at you if you left and then had to return 2 months later cause you had no money etc??). Maybe you could go to the bank and open your own savings account, pay for your own cell phone bill or buy groceries once a month for the entire house. They m,ay make smart comments but at the same time they will see you are maturing and helping out.

Also, keep in mind that their attitude toward you may have nothing to do with you. A lot of parents fight with their kids when really the issues are between themselves. As for the psychologist you went to....shame on them...they should have been helping you work through your issues as opposed to making it seem as though everything were so black and white like that. Moving out is ofcourse and option but only when you are truly ready. Plus your parents will still be your parents.

Hope my response helps, even if just a little.

 

Thank you for your advise. Im pretty independent overall. I pay for my phone, car, and even feed myself. I just dont pay mortgage because they wont let me for some reason. I try and help out around the house but i get stopped or my dad has everything under control, wanting it his way. So theres not much i can do. I guess i got it made but i cant take anymore yelling, its always an argument if i need something done.

I was about to move out when the lease wasnt right with us so now im on hold. Id like to move out soon because I just feel its right to do. Gain independence that way. my parents wont like it but I gotta do it to be happy. Im tired of listening and being bossed into what to do. I realized its my life and im only ruining it by staying here. I know theyd understand what kind of person i am in the long run. maybe, maybe not. it doesnt bother me too much anymore in what they think about where i take my life.

but thank you for putting in your thoughts. I can see that we relate

 

You said your dad told you to "get a job" then you later said you pay for nearly everything except mortgage. If you don't have a job, how do you do that?

Not criticizing, just wondering why your dad might say what he did. I get the sense that he thinks you're not pulling your weight. Dads seem much more sensitive to this kind of stuff than moms, especially once you're out of high school. I wonder also if your parents might be having some problems (financial, marital, jobs, etc) that they're taking out on you. A lot of people are struggling right now.

 

find a family member of family friend that will side with you, then play hardball and do it back once you move out-if they dont try to start anything then, put it in the context of they owe you favors, or it's your house your rules and if they're gonna be dicks about it, you'll turn family against them if it comes down to it- and make it clear that they have left you no other choice. then, if they ever wonder why you're doing this, tell them "it's just the way i was raised."

then again, i have little tolerance for hypocrites or people who misuse their position of authority, and have been known for extreme beliefs and action, so perhaps this should be taken with a grain of salt. also, before doing the above, you should make DAMN sure you are indeed on the right side of this issue, otherwise all hell WILL break loose and it will be your fault. good luck!

 

yea... move out of mommy and daddy's house and you won't have to bitch about it and play the victim anymore

:xmastree:

 

I have a under the table job for now. he has no job. i still dont know why he bitches. and if they wanna take it out on me then peace out. im not living with people that are emotionally unstable and try to get me that way

my mom is self centered. if she doesnt think or like what is going on, she wont do it or let anyone else do it. or she'll shrug it off and make me do it on my own. theres no emotional attachment in this family. its sad but i found a plan that works out. they still dont know. i usually keep em in the dark until its time to let it shine. talking to them goes nowhere so i have to tell them things last minute.

nat- shut up.

bored- thats a bit harsh. I know im at my wits end of hating them but i couldnt do that. frustration is building up and i just wanna get out. i really need it. if they get pissy, let em. its not my problem.

 

i think this is where we disagree

 

how is it my problem if they wanna bitch over me moving out for my own benefit?

 

because that means their idiocy directly affects you?

 

of course it does. thats why im moving out. and im not coming back until they grow up and learn how to treat a daughter