Hey all - Just need a place to vent a little bit I guess. I don't have a broken heart, but I sure have an injured heart. Sigh... I think I just need to become asexual or something. Anywho.. I met this girl at my work... she's new. We were getting along really great at work, she did mention she had a boyfriend. Once we were working alone and I was flirting with her pretty hard, she seemed to like it. She ended up calling me that night and asking me to come over. I turned her down. We ended up hanging out a few times after that, we had fun, nothing ever happened. Then I remember I told her I was attracted to her online. She didn't say much back other than thank you. The next time we're working together I asked her to help me out with a project. She said yes on the condition that she could come use my hammock after work. I said sure. So she's in my hammock for about 30 seconds and tells me to get in. Pretty soon we're spooning and pretty soon we're in bed together. The next day I feel horrible because of her relationship status and tell her its not going to happen again. It did end up happening again... twice. Then when she was begging me to come over I told her I was not going to sleep with her while she had a boyfriend, period. A few days later they break up, and we start sleeping together. We did many times. She goes out of town for a weekend, comes back and says its not a good idea for us to be sleeping together right now. I'm laying on her lap with tears in my eyes. It sucked, a lot. She explains she needs time to be alone, to figure out what she wants etc which I told her I understood. Then she's laying on top of me, then she kisses me. I suggest we just go to bed, she says no. I say ok, make some small talk, and get up to go. We are standing at the door hugging, and one thing led to another and pretty soon we're in bed together. Then I left. Now I'm just confused as shit. I'm hurt already. I know the best thing for me to do is just separate myself from her but it's hard, I really like her. That's all.
First of all, stop being a sentimental pussy. Girls hate that. She obviously wants you, but she can't say it straight up. She's in an indecisive moment and she needs a man to step up and make her feel safe. This is your time to be that man and to be the one pushing the relationship forward. Don't ask her to go to bed... fucking pick her up and take her to bed. I know that it's not easy to be that assertive, but now's the time to do it, trust me... before someone else who is more confident comes along and takes her away from you forever. Separating yourself from her is the worst idea ever, especially if you like her. Go out there and be a damn man. Also...... never ever cry in front of a girl unless your mom died or something. Every woman detests such weakness.
You can: a. Play the self-sacrificing martyr and keep your distance from this woman b. Take BSR's advice and pick her up and bring her to the bed (which I read to mean fight for your relationship) Either way, make a decision and stick with it.
Well, I hung out with her today. We went on a long bike ride way out into the country and had a good time. When we got back to her place I invited her over for dinner and she accepted. Then while she was walking to her door I grabbed her by the shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled a lot. I'm doing my best to be a man.
She cheated on her bf three times... with you! She obviously doesn't have a problem with cheating, and since you want to be with her, I take it you are perfectly OK with having an unfaithful gf. I hope you aren't under any sort of delusion that she's not going to be screwing around on you, in fact, she almost certainly has already. What do you think that weekend trip was about, and her claim that she needs to be alone to figure things out? You already know for a fact that she's untrustworthy. Cut your losses and forget about her (yeah, I know, easier said than done).
She mentioned she had a boyfriend and you still hit on her. Sorry buddy, but imo you had it coming. Like has already been stated above, if she cheated on her bf she won't have any problem cheating on you as well. This is why we should never get involved (be it only sexually or emotionally) with people that are already committed. Not only we're helping him/her cheating on his/her partner but we're also risking getting cheated on as well.
yeah, you guys are correct. i'm just gonna do my best to keep my distance from her. i feel sick at the moment due to the situation. sigh.
You dont need to keep your distance from her. Casual sex is no problem so long as neither party gets it mistaken for something more. By the sound of it its you that read in to the situation more than was intended so just get over that and enjoy the sex. Seems fairly self explanetory to me
Listen to this advice dude. I was just in a ridiculously similar situation to you. I worked with a girl who I liked a lot. She had a bf. I confessed I liked her. Shortly after she broke up with him to supposedly be with me. It was hard to accept that it was more about lust for her which is probably the case in this situation. Over time this became more and more apparent. She told me she liked me but then said something eeerrily similar to what she told you. The whole "I'm just not ready for a relationship" shpeal. It's complete bullshit. You gave this chick attention. She wanted a reason to break up with her bf. She probably does kind of like you but unfortunately you became the rebound guy. I hate that shit. I hate some of the advice on here about being assertive and shit. You like the girl. You want more than sex. Relationships should come natural. If it feels unnatural then it probably is just about sex for her. Run now unless she gives you reason to think its more than sex. It's only gonna fuck you up more. Obviously random sex is cool too but not when you actually like the chick....
