It sucks when a friend you thought you could trust betrays you

I am dating a Chinese girl, since April. About 5-6 weeks ago she became friends with one of my good friends, we will call her Sally. All seemed great.

But I am wicked pissed now. My gf told me a few days ago that Sally said the following things to her in Chinese, over the course of several meetings, while in my apartment!

-I lack ambition. And she said this multiple times and seemed to stress this, even though she has no proof of this fact. This is one of the key qualities a Chinese girl looks for in a man.
-That I am naive
-She warned my gf not to get to close to me
-She knows I do not care for America, my country, and warned my gf, who wants to study in America, "don't let him get in the way of your dreams!" She said it a second time "Don't let Carl keep you from your dreams" (to go to America) and seemed to stress that I dislike my country. The thing is my gf just wants to have experience abroad, and even Hong Kong is an option.
-She also mentioned to my gf that she just wants to protect Chinese women from foreigners.
-She said to my gf "You know he has a French ex gf?" This pisses me off because OF COURSE I told my gf everything about my past. Who is she to tell my gf about MY past? I did that already thank you very much.

Sally is now in Thailand, teaching Chinese, she just arrived about a week ago. She gave me a call the other night from Thailand. We talked for a bit about her experience, than I handed the phone to my gf, who was with me. My gf was happy to talk to her new friend.

My gf finished talking and gave the phone back to me and Sally offered me a job in Thailand. I was excited and said I was very interested.

I gave the phone to my gf once more and when my gf got off, she was very mad.

GF: You might go to Thailand???
Me: I am interested, she offered me a job. Why?

My gf and I talked more. I had assumed that Sally had offered both of us a job, that is why I said I was interested in teaching in Thailand. I figured she knew my gf wanted to go abroad, and Thailand would be a great place for us to go. But the offer was just for me and after I said I was interested, Sally told my gf that she should talk to her man, because he might go to Thailand.

So we pieced everything together. Sally has had one foreign bf and has chased one or two others. Plus everything she said to my gf, plus the offer to me to go to Thailand. The conclusion is obvious.

So I sent the following email:

Hi Sally, I would like to work at your school!!! But, I am afraid I lack the AMBITION required to work at your school. Plus, I will be in a new country, and people might take advantage of me, since I am so NAIVE. I would rather stay in China and grow CLOSER with my gf and tell her everything of my PAST...oh wait, I already did that, months ago. Than, in the future, we can go to America together. Yes, even though I don't like my country, I DON'T want to KEEP my gf FROM HER DREAMS. I won't go to Thailand this summer, so enjoy Thailand by yourself Sally, and don't worry, you'll be back at [Chinese UNI] soon enough, to PROTECT ALL THOSE CHINESE GIRLS FROM THOSE FOREIGNERS. Bye forever.

 

thanks for the memories of highschool

 

nevermind what i said

 

In time your inner sense for untrustworthy people will develop... unfortunately this is the best way to cultivate it. Try to look at the experience as tuition. Are you more angry that she did this or at the fact that you didn't see it coming?

 

Friends betraying friends happen to people of all ages. It doesn't just magically stop at 18.

Besides, I was just venting.

 

I had a feeling, so more mad that I didn't act on my feelings.

 

At least you and your girlfriend seem to have worked it out. That is what matters.

 

this was confusing. that is all.

 

Yeah, this one does sound like something written by a 15 year lold, rather than a 25 year old

 

Sounds like Sally wants you for herself.

 

Gotta wonder what the objective of this response is....

Seems to me that a more helpful reply would offer a kind of perspective that would afford Carl the dignity of coming to this conclusion himself instead of taking a low budget swipe at his perceived maturity.

 

i never trust people who are fully bilingual yet don't speak english when i'm right there. had some issues with some french dicks who assumed i didn't understand the shit they were saying. it's rude not to include.

sorry you got screwed.

 

There are a lot of people out there who just suck.

 

Suggest a threesome.

 

So a paragraph with feeling vs "stop being such a pussy"


Hmmm, maybe

 

It'll be more effective if you can lead someone to conclude that him/herself- otherwise it's just going to be received as insult added to injury.

 

It always sucks when you get burned trusting someone.

At least you know where you stand.

Other than that I got nothing.

 

Can't give you good rep again.

But I would.

 

I got lost after the phone conversation.

too much drama and stupidity. I say dump both the bitches and get with an all american chick

 

rofl^