I have been married, going on 3 years, and together a total of 6 years. I have a 3 year old and one on the way. I have a 15 year old from before him. He is all these great things. We had a fun and exciting relationship. He was my best friend and I felt loved and protected. We had some arguements and drank a bit more back then. He is the sole supporter and I have not worked in years. He has depression problems araising recently and is in F/T therapy. He has a short temper and it seems lately he is upset over everything. He thinks of killing himself but says he won't. He is sad over money because we are always broke. It is an endless cycle. We don't really talk anymore and he is always tired because of his medications. I, being pregnant, am just so irritated by him. I feel I have lost myself. I am thinking of leaving with the kids and get a job and find myself while being a better parent to my teen. They butt heads, so it is hard. He is easy and understanding, giving, loving, funny, and good at his job. He is an OK father. He seems to forget about them at times. It's like he has tunnel vision when it comes to his responsibilities. He only sees what he needs and not other. He doesn't let the dog out in the morning, never watches the toddler, and only washes HIS clothes or only dries what he needs. Anyway, I have worked for years thinking if I was nice and showed him how to do things and what I would like or didn't like, then he would see and learn and I could do the same. You know, a partnership of marriage. I don't think it's good to ignor things and just let them be. So, he has not changed and it seems he doesnt want to try. I love him but more and more I just look at him like I love a friend. I have told him I plan to leave but he just says your not going anywhere. He blows at me sometimes for no reason really. I will say something and he will start yelling and I say your out of control and to calm down. That he should be able to have a conversation and talk through it, even if he doesnt have the same opinion. So he will yell and get RIGHT IN MY FACE and I tell him to back off and he says what are you gonna do about it. He brings up how I don't work and how he could get kids and how I don't ever do anything and he works. He only says this during a FIGHT.. Then he always comes back later that he was mad and that he doesn't feel that way. He has grabbed me and punched walls and raises his FIST to me many a times. He has never Hit me but I just can't take his short temper. Anything I say he takes the wrong way and it can easily turn into an arguement. I have learned to just be quiet and not argue at times. If I don't think it's worth my time. I don't want to divorce and i am a bit scared to be on my own. I want the kids to have a close relationship with him. I am making plans for him to move to same area that he want to go to school in. It depends on him really. If he is a jerk and fights me about leaving and money and things, then it'll be hard to let him be the father he could be. I'm so lost. I cry often and I am so strssed and adding to the pregnancy doesn't help. I guess if anyone has any words or support or can relate to this. I have no friends because we have moved to a few states and I just feel very alone. He is no longer my BFF. It hurts but i have to do something.
You could let him read this. Then he can write his version of the story and let you read it. Have you gone to marriage counseling?
