realizations about art and self-expression (semi-trip report)

The other day I tripped by myself. I took about 2 low-moderately dosed hits.

I am a composer/producer (graduating from Berklee College of Music this summer). I write all kinds of music--ambient, orchestral, film score, trance, classical, etc. Anyway, I experienced a very important realization that I need to bear in mind as I make the transition from student to working professional, and I felt I would share my realization with any other artists that may read this forum (after all, people who take Lucy tend to be on the creative side!).

In a nutshell, I realized that creating any kind of art (in my case composing) doesn't necessarily mean that I have really expressed myself. I do consider the act of creating art a form of self-expression, but there is a much higher/transcendent plain of self-expression which is attainable. Allow me to explain:

As an artist, I usually have some sort of inspiration before I begin my writing. There's a feeling that is bottled up inside me, and I feel the need to EXPRESS that feeling. Usually what will happen with me is that I have a particular feeling/inspiration inside of me, and I try to express this feeling but instead end up with a completely different feeling with the music I produce, meaning that I still didn't really fulfill that inspiration.

While I was tripping, I was listening to some of my music (great idea btw! you'll learn more about yourself as an artist), and I noticed that when I listened to a particular piece of mine, I realized that I had actually successfully expressed the feeling that was bottled up inside of me--that in the process of creating the music, I ACCURATELY created a musical metaphor for the inspiration/feeling/intuition that was itching to come out. I also realized that this was the only piece I've written where I feel I've accurately expressed myself. That's not to say that I don't think I have written other good pieces, but I do feel that I haven't accurately expressed my feelings very often at all.

The funny thing about writing good music vs. writing good music that is an accurate representation of the inspiration for the music is that the latter is SO MUCH MORE REWARDING. I remember when I wrote this piece of mine I speak of, and I just became overwhelmingly ecstatic about what I had accomplished. I literally stayed up until the sun came up listening to this piece after I had completed it. I sacrificed hours of sleep because I was so ecstatic about what I had produced, and because I took Lucy and went back and listened to this piece, I realized that the reason why the experience of writing that piece was so much more rewarding is because the musical outcome of my labor is an ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF MY INSPIRATION/INNER FEELINGS.

As I try to be an artist in the real world, I need to never lose sight of the self-gratification of accurately expressing myself. This true self-expression I'm mentioning, is what I've realized to be the "point" of being an artist.

Are there any other artists here that can comment on this?

p.s. sorry if I sounded like a douche

 

Word I totally get that, I'm also a musician and for me having the ability to let out everything I "feel" and self express is amazing

I've noticed and come to relaizations about MY work that I could not find without the help LSD

i have a goal for myself to take some tabs and just all day play with my guitar and exeriment the kind of sounds I wanna make
and after all thaat, tripping, I have the reward of getting myself on the right track to what I really want to play

 

That's awesome. I have never tried writing music on acid, but during my last trip I rocked out and played some Tool songs on guitar. Was mega fun

 

I'm not sure it's possible to write music that isn't an accurate representation of your inspirations. Whatever you write must come from inside or outside. Now, if it comes from outside, it's not really expression. And if it comes from the inside it must express your inspiration, whatever that is. How do you think it comes about that you write music that isn't an accurate representation of your inner feelings? I think the answer lies in the listener - whether it strikes a chord with them depends on their state of mind at the time of listening to the piece.

 

The reason I can write music without any inspiration or inner motivation is because I am a trained musician. Because I understand music so well and how it works, it literally doesn't take any inspiration or emotion to write anything. Music, like any other craft, has a logic to it and components. Once you understand it on an intimate level, you don't necessarily need inspiration to write anything.

 

Yes, and that is something I would not call composition at all. If you are using someone else's method to write the whole of your music, which is easily possible having learned a little music theory, you don't need inspiration.

 

If you paint a painting using the "dot" technique, it's still a painting even though it is a technique you have acquired. The same goes for music. Even if you are composing just solely based on the techniques you learn to write music, you're STILL WRITING MUSIC.