Can you guess what object this disclaimer is describing?

Found this disclaimer that supersedes all:

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to
real persons, living or dead is purley coincidental. Void where
prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank
number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment.
Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not
use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be
paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to
sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable
parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to
change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage
necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes
acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size
fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substaintial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the
forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use
only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox.
Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will
not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not
responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At
participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use.
See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do
not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid
contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is
properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher
west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not
eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some
questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure
prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for
this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped
in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only
in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with
same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here
if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not
include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No
solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two
alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before
digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned
in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record
additional transactions on back of previous stub.

 

void where prohibited..

 

sounds like a george carlin joke

 

It sounds like every disclaimer ever thought of all in one big paragraph.

 

haha I think hippieatheart is right!

 

I Dont know but that is a hell of alot to read man

 

by the time i'd have read that lot, they'd sold out of it.

 

is it a dumpster baby?

 

This tractor trailer makes wide Right hand turns, use cation when passing..

My friend had his car run over once by a turning truck while i was in the car... It was a little car. piece of shit anyways, probably the best thing to happen to it, he got a brand new car in a few weeks...

 

^Hahah that would be so scary.

 

it was funny,, Im like dude, and my friend was yelling so loud.. all I can see in the rear tires rolling over his side the car, like bigfoot monster truck.. hahaha.. you know this trucking company tried to get out of it, but the rig passed us on the left to make the wide right cutting off our lane which is the right lane.. It was a dodge omni , you can imagine is was squished..

 

^^

holy shit