I'm not sure what's wrong with me

My friends have acknowledged the fact that I dump all my boyfriends and push people away. I don't do this is intentionally, infact when I consider dating someone I generally accept any flaws that they may have, am up for compromising. But I guess I resolve them because I find them too non-descript or become numb to the idea of being in a relationship for the long term. The thing that confuses me mostly is i'm not a big whore bag either. I don't sleep with people, and the rare occasion that I do is normally some sort of drunken one nighter where im quick to push the idea of seeing them again away.

I often long for a meaningful relationship, something with substance. The kind of passion where you want to rip each others clothes off and just fuck the shit out of each other all night, and then have someone to actually snuggle with instead of feeling used and demoralized. Someone sarcastic and intelligent, that takes control.

Im trying to connect the dots as to why I have such odd intimacy issues. I'd like it if you could help me figure it out.

 

Maybe you havent met somebody worthy of your respect and loyalty. It takes time to find somebody that we actually want to be with for the long run. Also, if you have some big insecurities that keep surfacing when you try to get emotionally close to somebody then trying to work through them or at least better understand them would help.

 

this^ best of luck!

 

Her loyalty? she said she dumps every single one of her boyfriends.

Maybe you are looking for too much or something. Like possibly you are focusing on what you don't like in the guy as opposed to what you do like in him so you don't let him in. Maybe you have some sort of idealized man in your head or are comparing different aspects of each guy instead of just accepting the current guy for who he is.

 

maybe, but I don't look for a certain type really I just prefer if there's something wrong with them.

btw I really like your sig

 

this is probably true, i'am insecure. but I don't think normally it goes that far. as to pushing away loving people.

 

You just sound really confused....I thought you just came to grips with the fact that you like chicks too...

Maybe try being alone for a spell and figure yourself out

 

Is it better to be the girl that gets objectified regularly or always, or the girl thats never known monkeys in the jungle.


That Susan Boyle, that won Britains got talent a few years back, got to her 50s, never having being kissed apparently

There would be a certain type of inner anguish in that, that you or I will never comprehend

 

I don't think I would enjoy kissing Susan Boyle.

 

Dang if only you lived in california haha. you totally seem like the type of girl I would wanna date.

 

For the most part, me and you are almost identical in this department.

 

FIXED.......



Cheers Glen.

 

It seems like you have a combined fear of abandonment, coupled with a subconscious desire for new and risky behaviors. i dong mean risky in the sense that you are being promiscuous or dangers, just that you like the thrill of taking a risk on a new thing. Its normal for people to learn at an early age that not getting chosen hurts. whether that be last pick in PE, or not getting the prom date we wanted, or something more serious. such as a inattentive parent of lover. often we tend to overcompensate by refusing to relinquish the power in a relationship. If you actively look for reasons to find fault with others, the fact is you will, and if you move on first, you dint deal with any hurt or feelings of inadequacy. On the flip side, you move on to something new and exciting to keep you at an emotional high. honestly, there is nothing wrong with you at all in the sense that you're a bad person or something. the one word of advice that i would give is that of course those 'honey moon' stage relationships are always going to be fun for a while, eventually it will fade a little. If you don't open yourself a little more though, you will not get to experience the very rewarding love and sexual comfortability that comes with a longer term loving partner. Its not all bad though, look at it this way, you are obviously more of a great catch than you may think since the fresh recruits keep coming. also, you have had some time to play the field a little while keeping it modest in the sexual endeavors. that places you in a unique position to draw from a pool of different guys and really decide what you like. I'm sure once you meet a good guy and let your wall down a little, he will be in for a wonderful, open and sexually giving partner to make his head spin. good luck

 

maybe you keep realizing that it sucks dating someone who has something wrong with them.

or maybe this thread is 2 months old and you've been in a happy relationship for the last 6 weeks.

 

You don't have issues, you just need to find the right person. Free yourself of desire and let things be. That's all I got, stranger.

 

Ok, I’ll see what I can do.

Hmmm. Looking at this, I have to ask if this is something you really want to look at in a public forum, because of what I see in this statement alone. I think that it may become too personal for every Tom Dick & Harry to know.

With that said, I am inclined to think that somewhere, somehow, someone close hurt you badly, and while you may not remember it right now, I am thinking that happened. In the desolate loneliness you feel, you may actually find solitude. A sense of safety, perhaps, for you created by your subconscious mind. Something so many people fail to recognize is that our subconscious mind will act like a “lifeguard”, and try to protect us from traumas that it feels would be dangerous for us to remember. So it builds these – these “barriers”, if I may – to shield us from the memories of these traumas. In some instances when our brain is overloaded and trying to “de-stress” itself, some of these traumas come out in a variety of forms. Varieties that are as unique and individual as there are people.

The only way that I can think of where you can effectively retrieve whatever traumas are there that cause this interpersonal grief is if you see a counselor that works with relaxation therapy. Another good alternative is call EEG Feedback. I have received both, and I am more fond of the EEG Feedback than anything else. Zero meds, zero side effects, and with me a lot of success.

Actually, that’s good. You won’t catch me sleeping with a woman that sleeps with everyone in sight.

I have a lot of respect for a woman that respects herself enough to hold off on sex. I think it is risky to have sex though when you are intoxicated. Lack of discretion goes father than WHO you sleep with, but also in safety practices. Safety in sex? You bet. STDs don’t care if you’re drunk or sober.

That’s beautiful! You have a long term relationship goal! I think that’s absolutely great! I hope for you that this goal is reason enough for you to seek guidance from someone far more professional than I.

Well, I don’t know if what I said helps much or even at all. But I hope it did somehow!