How can I deal with this? sexual harassment?

I work as a bar and gaming attendant at a pub that is mostly frequented by seniors and older foreigners. I often find myself in a position that i feel very uncomfortable- mostly by the asking for my number and frequent sexual comments that are made towards me.
Now if they were colleagues or managers, there would be no doubt that its sexual harassment but it's the patrons that i find most offending.
What tipped me over the edge, is that during todays shift, a male patron said the following thing to me "you know the hotel up the road does bikini fridays... you should wear a bikini to work too, i'd like that"
most comments aren't so horrifying, most they are requests for my numbers, or excessively telling me i'm beautiful, or invitations to dinner (and see where the night goes), or that i am a sexy young girl, why you working here at this place?

Now I'm a nice, friendly, sensitive girl and I do find it difficult asserting myself. I have a boyfriend and I often use this has the reason why i refuse dates and giving out my number. However, when they are crude, suggestive comments, there is nothing really I can think to say.
What can I do or say to be able to deal with this behaviour from patrons?

on a side note, any help on not taking rude/abusive customers too personally, as well?

:-( work's getting a bit much for me to deal with.

 

Just smile and say "Sorry, but I'm taken."

Try to take comments as complimentary. Don't let them get to you. If it gets out of hand, try having them thrown out.

 

if it makes you feel that uncomfortable curse them out! stand up for yourself. don't let anyone take your happines.
i am a nice girl, and i have found it necessary to curse at people before and usually they are just left speechless with a lesson learned.

 

You need to learn a nice line in retorts that to the average punter will seem ok but the more intelligent will get right away. There's nothing like seeing the face of a customer when he can here the sniggers from other clients around him when he thought you were merely pandering to his ego. It takes practice to pull it off but hey, what have you got to lose.

 

There was one guy at work who would always try and hold my hand, he'd phone me in the middle of the night asking for sex in the toilets the next day at work and make sexual comments towards me.

I spoke to him and told him to stop and when he didn't I reported him to one of the managers, which soon sorted him out.

 

Loudly and sweetly tell them that you'd rather date the prince of rats.

Happened to me... I said I was the prince of rats.

 

show me your tits

 

PM'd.

 

i do this when they are invitations for dates, dinner etc, or if they ask for my number...
however, if they are just making comments about my appearance or sexually driven statements concerning me. Whether i am taken or not doesn't matter to them.

 

I imagine working in a bar only compounds the problem because of the alcohol. It's liquid courage for people.

I used to carpool with a guy who would hang out of the window whistling and yelling at girls as we drove to and from work all the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzO-xdtHknc&feature=related"]YouTube- ‪Crazy Wolfy‬‎

I asked him if he thought they would flag us down or something, lol. But he never stopped. It's just how he was.

I've never acted like that. But if I did, I would probably give you a bigger tip for putting up with me.

I guess you'll just have to find some armor, or get out of there and find another type of work.

I wish you luck!

 

You have several options.

1.) learn how to effectively cuss somebody out. It will be something you have to do often, but you will probably not get any repeat offenders. Sometimes it's the only way to get through to people.
2.) Just deal with it. You're hot, awesome. Don't let it get to you.
3.) Get the manager to tell'em to bugger off.
4.) Get fat.
5.) Quit & work somewhere else.
6.) Have your boyfriend follow you around and kick anybody's ass who so much as looks at you.

 

Since its patrons and there is always new ones coming it it would be very hard to get them to stop unless you convinced the management to put up some sort of sign.

So unless you want to have to continually deal with sexual harassment maybe you should find a new job?

 

it's very close to coming to that... between the comments and the depressing atmosphere of the place- where the scum of the earth go to smoke, drink and gamble their lifes away... I dont want to contribute to their demise.

 

I'm not meaning to come off as insensitive or unhelpful but maybe it's just the wrong job for you. Putting up with sexual advances from patrons comes with the territory of being a sexy young thang who works at a bar. That aside, I know how it feels to be stuck at a job you absolutely hate. I'm sorry and I hope things get better quick

 

spread rumors you have genital warts.. sex people will leave you alone and you can get your work done. or you can develop nasty habits. like picking your nose, eating sloopy, wearing goofy clothing, odd make up.. getting fat wouldnt work if she was least attractive dummies.. Fat.. oh derp never fucked a fat girl .. geeze..

 

Its honestly a part of life. Ignore it unless it gets way outta hand. Good luck.

 

Its something your always gonna have when your working with the public, being in a bar only makes it worse.
Not to be too hard or anything but get used to it, and realize that its not just you, they'd be doing it to anyone. If you take it to hard your never gonna make it.
I deal with mild flirting with a smile and if they are polite about it Ill flirt a bit back (i'll never lead anyone on about having dinner or anything though). Its almost part of the job and does help your tips.
Like with the bikini comment you could be like, "Well I would but Id look so damn good they wouldent be able to control the crowds coming to see me" All they are really looking for most of the time is some attention
If they are coming on too strong or serious I let em know. If they are really aggresive or obnoxious I get firm or bitchy rite away, I find that works better then starting out nice. That dosent mean you have to be a bitch the rest of the time, usually theyll get it then you can move on.
If they are drunk and really out of line I get a manager or security to kick em out.

 

I just read the whole thing, and I can offer this advice

stop moaning! There are many worse things people can say in life, it comes with the territory and although you shouldn't be flattered, it's not an insult either.

He didn't tell you he wanted to chop you into little pieces and feed you to his fish did he? Or that he wanted to fuck you like drunk a monkey. Comparatively, who cares. I can name plenty of occasions where people have said something to me which I had not liked so much, but it's never been important.

 

You are in a tough spot because part of the job (the part that pays - tips) involves somewhat being flirtatious/outgoing. Some clients obviously don't read the social cues involved in normal server/customer relationship.

There isn't an easy answer for how to act, and no way to dissuade future clients.