Jodie Foster: Lesbian. Bi? Hypocrite? WTF?

Discussion in 'Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, etc.' started by QueerPoet, Jan 17, 2010.

  1. meridianwest

    meridianwest Senior Member

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    I'm not arguing against famous gay people having hugely contributed to the public's acceptance of gays. yes, they have their part in it-- Harvey Milk, George Michael, etc. but that wasn't a function of them being the role models for gay youth, but more as people who showed/informed the general public that gay guys were just like anybody else by being who they were. this does not fall under being a role model for gay youth. a gay youth knows he is normal, he knows he's not a freak, he knows he's just like any other guy. it's the ones who held the opposing opinion, who didn't know anybody who were gay, who didn't know that we're just like any other guys and whom people like Milk, etc served as gay 'role models' for. by changing at least some of those guys' opinion. their effect was mostly for people outside gay community. a gay youth didn't need that because he knew he was normal in the first place, he could have his role model anybody he chooses, makes no difference whether gay or straight (unless he is specifically looking for a role model who's gay).

    i don't remember having said i think everybody should live in the closet. you exaggerate my antagonism QP, because you feel the need to attack me back for the perceived insult. i think it should be every individual's own personal choice whether to be out or not. no-one has the right to say that if they don't disclose their sexuality to everybody that makes them hypocrites or something. it's a personal choice everyone has to make for themselves.

    i came out to my friends in high school. i did it because i felt like living a lie by not telling them. other than my friends though, i don't see i have to advertise my sexuality to anybody else. if they find out, or if it comes up in conversation, I'm not gonna hide it, but outside that it's none of anybody's business.
     
  2. Shale

    Shale ~

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    Yeah, sexual orientation is not something that solely defines who a person is and even tho I have written about my own mutable sexuality I am not known as that gay dude Shale. (Actually I often say I'm bi to explain the 20 year marriage to Brenda, but I'm mostly into men now).

    I think that JF, in not trying to hide the fact that she has a fem lover but also not carting her out for show and tell, is her choice and we have to respect that. Some het couples don't like to reveal any details of their sex life either. (My poor wife had to deal with me writing and illustrating a piece of erotica about ours. :p)

    However, I really like to see more prominent gay ppl make that known. It does add to the overall acceptance by the mainstream society and I can see where some gay teen, isolated in some bible-belt backwater town can benefit by knowing that he is not the freak that his community thinks he is.
     
  3. QueerPoet

    QueerPoet Senior Member

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    Four comments on a single thread? I'm truly honored, MW. Harvey Milk stated very clearly that more folks needed to come out of the closet -- because he never wanted to hear another story about how a 14 year old queer youth had taken his own life -- because he felt freakish and alone. That we (as a community) need to give each other hope. Not all gay youths know they are normal. Some still get thrown out of their homes, and are abused by other students in school. This is especially true for effeminate gay men. At least now they know that there are happy and successful queers in the world. And they don't have to hate themselves for being gay. Because they have positive gay role models to look up to. At least now they have hope.

    And I don't remember having said every GLBT person should come out of the closet. In fact, I stated exactly the opposite in a comment I left ages ago. So there's no need to repeat it. I think you perceived my use of the word hypocrite as an insult, when it was directed at JF, and meant in an ironic sense. Why would I admire a hypocrite? That's what all the question marks were for. I just found it odd that someone would start out saying their private life was nobody's business, then ultimately announce to the world they had a same sex partner. I've been very clear about my respect and admiration for Jodie Foster. However, I used irony to make a point. And you seem to have taken this personally.

    Good for you. I'm happy to hear it. I live my life the same way. I don't tell someone I'm gay, unless I am asked -- or if I am reading some of my poems at a public reading or on the radio. If the host asks me how long I have known I am queer, then I will give an honest answer. Do I tell every cashier at Safeway I am queer? Not in a million years. I'm more concerned about plastic bags: It rains a lot in the Pacific Northwest. And I walk a lot. Soggy groceries suck.

    --QP
     
  4. QueerPoet

    QueerPoet Senior Member

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    Dude, it's obvious you are determined to have the last word. So I don't even know why I'm bothering to be civil to you. In fact, you lost all credibility the moment you said I sound like an embittered old man. Insulting HF members that just happen to have a different opinion than your own -- is not cool. If I am old (at 46), I wonder what your opinion of folks in their fifties and sixties might be? And there are plenty of "old" hippies here.

    But you seem to think you have all the answers (at the age of 26?). When your statements about queer heroes from the recent past -- prove you have much to learn. So I will respectfully request that we agree to disagree. And stop beating a dead horse. You cannot win a debate by stooping to insults. And you have already gone in that direction. So just let it go. Okay?

    --QP
     
  5. meridianwest

    meridianwest Senior Member

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    do you really think that the fact we have Elton John, Ian McKellen, and others changes some inbred homophobe? stops him from beating up some gay schoolmate? i don't think so. and it certainly doesn't alleviate what that gay guy who gets beat up will go through. no Elton Johns or Harvey Milks in the world will do that. They function on the general level. On an individual level it's all personal, and depends on the people part of the situation.

    also, sadly there will always be guys who will hate themselves for what they
    feel for men. it has nothing to do with thinking gays are freaks and no positive role model is gonna change their opinion about themselves.

    and there have always been gay guys who have never had any inferiority complex because of their sexuality. and there has always been hope. Harvey Milk didn't create hope. hope was always there. it was and always is up to the individual to make what he can of himself. if he holds himself back, for whatever the reason, it's his own fault. not the fault of a lack of a positive role model with a shared sexuality.

    other than that, i also feel good that we now have more visible gay celebrities around. i just think that their effect has been more for the people outside gay community.
     
  6. QueerPoet

    QueerPoet Senior Member

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    :beatdeadhorse5:
     
  7. meridianwest

    meridianwest Senior Member

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    i don't insult people just because they disagree with me. i actually like it when people disagree with me, it helps me analyze my own point of view better.

    i said what i said because that's what you started to sound like. was i supposed to compliment you on your constant whining then?
     
  8. QueerPoet

    QueerPoet Senior Member

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    Actually, you've been doing quite a bit of whining yourself. And essentially beating a dead horse-- in six replies, no less. But at least I was mature enough not to be rude and insulting towards you. Life is too short for this nonsense. Since you clearly cannot make a point(s) without getting personal -- you leave me no choice but to add you to my ignore list. Your negativity is not constructive. Period.

    --QP
     
  9. QueerPoet

    QueerPoet Senior Member

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    I am in total agreement with you here. And sometimes all it takes is one seemingly small event - to make a huge difference in a young person's life. It is so easy to get discouraged when all a person hears is negative stuff about gay people and what they do. Then when something positive is discovered, it's just like you said: If he made it big, why would not I do the same?

    --QP
     
  10. meridianwest

    meridianwest Senior Member

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    how noble of you.

    guess it was too close to home then, huh.
     
  11. Patrick

    Patrick Member

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  12. AvatarMN

    AvatarMN Member

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    No straight person in the history of the world ever thought their sexual orientation was personal and private. So how could a gay person? The word is not "personal/private". It's "secret". Letting someone know the gender of your partner isn't something that anyone who's not ashamed of their sexuality would consider to be very revealing of their personal life.
     
  13. canon9

    canon9 Member

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    People are too goddam interested in other''s private lives. It's no one's business but theirs and the person they are having the affair with. Everyone wants to put a label on everything so they can point fingers and use the label to make themselves look better and more important. The paparazzi should not be allowed to come within 50 feet of anyone.
     
  14. RecklessRobin

    RecklessRobin Member

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    If Jodie talked a lot about her relationship, journalists would probably stalk both her and her girl-friend. Maybe it's her girl-friend who feels most unhappy at the thought at having her privacy ripped off if Jodie makes it public. There are even straight celebrities who keep their private lives private for the sake of their partners and kids.

    There are two people concerned by Jodie's decision, not just Jodie herself. We should keep this in mind.
     
  15. Night_Owl49

    Night_Owl49 Since 2006

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    What makes you think she is gay?
     

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