Obscure sayings?

a diamond in a goat's ass.

 

in a pickle

 

i worked at a sandwich shop in high school and whenever a customer wanted the whole works on their sandwich, my coworker would always say "everything but the kitchen sink." i always liked that one

 

How about " he was hotter than a jalapeno's asshole" for when someones mad?

 

"you couldn't drive a toothpick up his ass with a sledge hammer". Everybody knows a tight-ass.

 

colder than a witches teet

Why would a witch have abnormally cold breats?


Nothing to shake a stick at

Why would anyone shake a stick at something that was even remotely impressive?

 

Not obscure but = wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up the fastest.

 

I always liked:--"You can't polish a turd" lol

 

Spank the monkey

 

"don't shit me-I carry a turd in my pocket".

 

don't come the raw prawn with me

 

My husband's grandmother was a flapper in a speakeasy during Prohibition. This woman was truly wise. i wish i could have met her. She used to say (something to the effect of):

"Fools' names and fools' faces are heard and seen in public places!"

As i watch the politicians continually suffer from foot-in-mouth illness and seem to forget that the cameras are always rolling these days . . . .i think back to the saying of this wise woman. . . .

Another one of hers that was incredibly insightful and relevant not only back then but today is: PROHIBITION IS EVIL!

Peace & Love,
Spicey Cat,
Purrrr!

 

who the fuck is Milt?

 

The witch's tits which I have played with have all been nicely warm.

 

"God protects drunks and fools"

My grandmother used to say this. She was a drunk.

 

'naked as a jaybird'

Surely, something is more naked than that.

.

 

'Selling faster than hotcakes'

George Carlin used to make fun of that one by saying that things like milk and eggs sell much faster.

Carlin: "But, somehow it just doesn't sound right when we say 'Boy, that new Michael Jackson album is selling like.....eggs'".

.

 

Uglier than a hatful of arseholes.

 

Slicker than cat shit.

 

I would not know him from a row of assholes, one of my dads favorites always made me laugh, quite the visual